How do you get over the thoughts of your ex having sex with someone else?

[Jimmyjackson]

That's the kind of things that you can't let yourself care about. You put distracting strategies in place.

 

Like how though? I just woke up 5 minutes ago and it was the first thing that popped into my mind

[sober and dry]

Like how though? I just woke up 5 minutes ago and it was the first thing that popped into my mind

Yes that happens everyday to me too... I guess it will eventually stop sometime, until that we must just shake it off every time.

[JFReyes]

I know, I was thinking, she had sex before she was with me so what's the difference? and it's not like she did it a week after we broke up or anything, so I guess I can be thankful for that.

 

OP, my ex has children from 2 previous husbands before we met and can't have any more, so one can get over it. Don't sweat it.

[Jimmyjackson]

I feel like that guy from the film '500 days of summer', almost as if I romanticized my relationship with my ex too much and think she's the only girl for me.

 

I feel that If I can just meet someone else it will all just go away and I won't be caught in delusion anymore

[JFReyes]

I feel that If I can just meet someone else it will all just go away and I won't be caught in delusion anymore

 

Yep, that's the ticket, just give it time. It happened just like that for me.

[Satu]

Any idea how long it might take?

 

It's not possible to quote a time, but its part of the 'acute phase', and will normally pass when you're some way along in accepting the loss.

[Elle1975]

Like how though? I just woke up 5 minutes ago and it was the first thing that popped into my mind

 

When you get up, and she pops in your mind, you can make the conscious choice to push the thought away; distract yourself.

 

For instance, I like reading, and I rarely think about something else while I am reading a good book - I'm the kind of person who will read well past her bedtime. You could read too, watch a movie, hang out with friends, go for a walk, whatever mechanism works for you, use it.

 

Even though those thoughts pop in without our consent, you alone decide to let them linger in or not.

 

Some people avoid places that they went to with their SO.. I do the opposite. I will go to the dam place holding those precious memory till it becomes meaningless - or at least till I don't feel like I'm walking hand in hand with the ghost of my old relationship.

 

I mean, I'm not going to avoid my local Target just because of one guy

 

It requires work, but it does pay off. It pays off a hell of a lot better than staring at the ceiling listening to cliché sad songs, I guarantee.

[Jimmyjackson]

When you get up, and she pops in your mind, you can make the conscious choice to push the thought away; distract yourself.

 

For instance, I like reading, and I rarely think about something else while I am reading a good book - I'm the kind of person who will read well past her bedtime. You could read too, watch a movie, hang out with friends, go for a walk, whatever mechanism works for you, use it.

 

Even though those thoughts pop in without our consent, you alone decide to let them linger in or not.

 

Some people avoid places that they went to with their SO.. I do the opposite. I will go to the dam place holding those precious memory till it becomes meaningless - or at least till I don't feel like I'm walking hand in hand with the ghost of my old relationship.

 

I mean, I'm not going to avoid my local Target just because of one guy

 

It requires work, but it does pay off. It pays off a hell of a lot better than staring at the ceiling listening to cliché sad songs, I guarantee.

 

I know, I know. I got up and went to work today and I really couldn't be bothered but it took my mind off it for a little while. I spoke to a girl tonight too for a little on Facebook and it gave me something to do for a little while.

 

It's just as if it hits you all of a sudden that it's over once they're seeing someone else I guess

[TigerLilly78]

How do you get over the thoughts of your ex having sex with someone else?

Pepto Bismol usually works and once the vomiting stops I like to curl into a ball hug my fav blankie and go to my "happy place" ..lol

[Satu]

At a certain time in my past, I was surprised to find out that my ex having sex with someone else made me feel free, and able to move on.

 

Oh, the bittersweet paradox

[Jimmyjackson]

At a certain time in my past, I was surprised to find out that my ex having sex with someone else made me feel free, and able to move on.

 

Oh, the bittersweet paradox

 

Yeah I feel as though things are final now that she's seeing someone else for the first time since we split. It's just the thought of this guy giving her a good seeing to, something that I used to do

[Jimmyjackson]

Is it also normal to miss having sex with your ex may I add? We had some great sex man...

[reddragon588]

Is it also normal to miss having sex with your ex may I add? We had some great sex man...

 

Yes, it is very normal lol.

[Jimmyjackson]

Yes, it is very normal lol.

 

But even like 4 months later haha?

[me85]

But even like 4 months later haha?

 

Yes. I've been officially BU with my ex for 1.5 years and I still sometimes reminisce about our sexcapades and cringe at the thought of him banging his new gf. Even though, I myself have since slept with someone else and dated guys here and there.

[girlygirlgames]

I just found out yesterday too. It made me want to throw up, cringe and die all at once. On the other hand as hard as a pill it is to swallow it does let me know that he couldn't have been the one for me. And I must not have been a special to him as I thought. As special as he made me think. Nothing really you can do, it is terrible to feel so powerless.