martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) little back ground story. i have met this guy from Tinder and we met already 2 times. after the first time he made clear he is only looking for fun as his plans are to go back to Malaysia in 3/4 months. I like him and at moment I am chatting with more than one guys so I was ok with it. during nye night we texted each other and he asked me to go over his place but i couldnt so we set a date for this saturday night ( tomorrow night ). As he works during the day he had to let me know the time he could meet me. however this morning he replied this way to my cheeky message ( which was also a friendly reminder to let me know about tomorrow ) I actually just got to work. Had to take the morning off. Things are a bit weird at the minute, some ****'s come up with my exgf. Gonna have to take a rain check on Saturday night. I'll be in touch in a couple of days? Hope that's ok, need to sort this out. I havent replied. first of all where the exGF come from? :confused:I am 100% sure he is single because he is still on tinder. can this be an excuse to blow me off? should I reply? or just ignore him and wait to see if he will contact me in 2 days? I want to have some fun with him but I dont like the idea of the exGF still in the picture because they always cause dramas.. what do you think? thanks! Edited January 2, 2015 by martaldn
Diezel Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 If you just want to have fun, why does any of that matter?
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 I am asking if i should reply or not... it matters to me
Diezel Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Just say "Okay". You are vastly overthinking this. 3
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 No, don't reply. He's blown you off, take the hint. If you truly do just want some casual fun, look for someone on Tinder who doesn't have all of this drama going on with the ex, and who will be eager to actually meet you. You won't be short of men on there who would love to sleep with you casually. If this guy is truly interested in meeting you, he'll be calling in a few days and asking you for a solid date. But even if I was after FWB, the 'drama with the ex' would be a real turn off and something I wouldn't wanna get involved in if I valued peace and sanity! However, I don't think he's interested. Leave him to it. 7
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Just say "Okay". You are vastly overthinking this. thank U
Haydn Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Acrosstheuniverse got it spot on I think. And of course as Diesel put it. Don't over think it. 3
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 No, don't reply. He's blown you off, take the hint. If you truly do just want some casual fun, look for someone on Tinder who doesn't have all of this drama going on with the ex, and who will be eager to actually meet you. You won't be short of men on there who would love to sleep with you casually. If this guy is truly interested in meeting you, he'll be calling in a few days and asking you for a solid date. But even if I was after FWB, the 'drama with the ex' would be a real turn off and something I wouldn't wanna get involved in if I valued peace and sanity! However, I don't think he's interested. Leave him to it. thank U. actually i am not looking ONLY for fun but as I liked this guy I wouldnt mind to have fun with him. the ex thing really turned me off though..
Omei Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I would also just say "Okay" and wouldn't say anything else and just assume it was a blow off until he said something else. The ex contact would make me no longer interested in general tho. 2
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Acrosstheuniverse got it spot on I think. And of course as Diesel put it. Don't over think it. thanks Haydn I want a FWB situation with him but I dont want any drama involved.. he could just say he wasnt interested though.
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 I would also just say "Okay" and wouldn't say anything else and just assume it was a blow off until he said something else. The ex contact would make me no longer interested in general tho. i feel the same. as soon as I read the "ex" word my interest for him went from 10 to 5!
Haydn Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Date me I have no drama hahaha How well do you know Hackney mate? Marta, don't use to many minerals thinking bout it. 1
Bellaisa Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 as soon as I read the "ex" word my interest for him went from 10 to 5! If you don't want the drama, I would pay attention to your next couple of get together and make a decision one way or the other. I would be honest - just like he was - and tell him what you are not willing to get involved with...even if it is just FWB. His definition of fun may be totally different than yours, and he may think it's okay to be mixed up with his ex-girlfriend while he has fun with you. 1
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 If you don't want the drama, I would pay attention to your next couple of get together and make a decision one way or the other. I would be honest - just like he was - and tell him what you are not willing to get involved with...even if it is just FWB. His definition of fun may be totally different than yours, and he may think it's okay to be mixed up with his ex-girlfriend while he has fun with you. thanks BellaIsa this is exactly what I am gonna say if he will ever come back to me. i thought FWB was easier..
Author martaldn Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 How well do you know Hackney mate? :lmao:
michellew Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Being on Tinder does not always mean someone is single. I've met men online before, only to find out they were married or in relationships. You have to be careful. I wouldn't be surprised if this was his current gf, not ex. He probably got caught on there and needs to lay low for a few days. 2
soyou Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 If I were you, I would just drop the whole deal. His messahgw showed that he didnt care that much. I'm pretty sure he has found a better option than you for Saturday. That's the reason why he lamely sent you this text. To me, no matter whether I'm in a FWB or not, my pride doesnt let me to become the obvious second (back-up) option. 2
fred123 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 this guy invites you to his place in first date? i thought women dont like this... we have been given advice that women get turned off if a guy did this but apparently women dont mind this... 1
ExpatInItaly Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Don't bother with this guy. He's looking for sex and it's bound to get dramatic if the ex is in the picture. I wouldn't reply. 1
Eddy Street Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Just tell him that you like him, if there was more honesty in the world it would be a better, greener planet.
michellew Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 this guy invites you to his place in first date? i thought women dont like this... we have been given advice that women get turned off if a guy did this but apparently women dont mind this... We normally don't, but they had an agreement from the beginning that this was just going to be casual fun. 1
PinkCarnations Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 I agree, just reply "ok." I always use that reply whenever I hear something I don't like. It's perfect bc you're keeping things short and it can be interpreted as "I understand" or "ok, whatever. Bye." Lol then wait and see what his next message is, if he messages.. And based on next message, see if u wanna continue dating him. I think the ex-gf thing is for real though. He's prob just being honest, and also tryna boost his image maybe by making it seem like his ex is still into him..? Idk. 1
Noproblem Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Do not reply, you already seemed too eager when you sent him the friendly reminder! 1
hoping2heal Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 If you only plan to "have fun" with him, then an ex-gf being in the picture shouldn't make any bit of difference. An ex gf isn't going to be a drama scenario unless there are feelings involved.
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