RGKG Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 So my fiance's father likes to flirt, as told to me by my mother-in-law in passing when telling a story. He hasn't been physically inappropriate and they've been married 44 years so I'm not taking it as anything more than joking around. It makes me kind of uncomfortable, though, but to me that's just more on personal differences than anything else. Ideas? I.e. they're right now on a trip together and first he sent me a message asking about snow and saying my fiancee was still asleep so I was all his and then a message than he's up so I'm no longer his (that "level" of flirting). Yes of course I can bring it up to my fiancee but I mean it doesn't bother me that much in the sense that all I'd do is ignore it and not respond but I don't want to be rude either. How to approach this? I don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill but I also would like the flirting to stop. Thanks for any suggestions
darkmoon Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) ignore him completely and tell your fiance what you can, he might already know his dad is outrageous or if he and his dad are close keep quiet i do not condone his dad's actions, he sounds like he wants to feel young again, he might think he is hilarious, just do not come between a father and son, sorry, that is unjust, but it is sensible, when you see the dad be distant but polite Edited January 2, 2015 by darkmoon
preraph Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) No, no, no, no. You need to tell your fiance YESTERDAY. The longer you ignore this, the more your future FIL will assume you want this as much as he does. Do NOT put up with this. And if your future fiance doesn't do something about it, maybe he's not who to marry because this guy will also try to get physical with your teenage daughter and all her friends if he lives that long. I know a guy JUST like this. He too was married to the mother until she died, many decades. She was a fake POS who chose to ignore what was going on right under her nose. He didn't even bother to try to hide it. It was my best friend's dad and she got married in their home. Right -- I mean RIGHT after the ceremony, with everyone still standing in a circle, he shoved his tongue down my throat, using his daughter getting married to execute what he could justify as a celebratory kiss. His wife was standing RIGHT THERE pretending not to notice. I took my bride friend's hand and took her to the ladies room immediately and told her "I'm sorry to have to bring this up, but your dad just shoved his tongue down my throat right in front of your mother, who pretended not to notice." This opened up a closed can of worms she'd lived with forever which eventually led her into therapy. Where there's smoke there's fire. You can't trust a guy like that around your future kids. And worst of all, your fiance modeled after one or the other or both of his parents, and so he's most likely someone who will tolerate and even do this behavior in the future. So stop minimizing this. To me, nothing short of your fiance threatening to kick his *ss and telling his mother to put a leash on her husband would placate me in this situation, and then minimizing contact. Meanwhile, block him. Edited January 2, 2015 by preraph 1
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