Chahy377 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Soooo I met this guy who was gorgeous...he flirted pretty strong but when I asked him if he has a girlfriend he said yes. He wanted to have sex, but I'm not about that life and told him we could remain friends and that I wouldn't have sex with him. He said that he cheats on his gf and has sex with other girls....it wasn't a big deal and he didn't have to tell her. After he saw I would not have sex, he kinda fell back even tho we had great convos and I was genuinely intrigued by his thoughts and opinions about life and enjoyed talking to him. I've seen pics of his gf and she is very unattractive....I'm not trying to be petty or mean, but the girl is not cute. At all. So I'm wondering why would a very attractive guy stay with a very unattractive girlfriend when he cheats on her frequently with much better looking women. And he has no intention of leaving her. He takes care of her, pays all of the bills. I really think he loves her...it's confusing to me, if he liked her personality then why cheat? As far as her body...She is extremely thin...but does have nice boobs. She definitely doesn't have a banging body tho, doesn't do her makeup, and doesn't do her hair. Why am I so interested? I might be a lil jealous lol but also I've spent the last year losing a ton of weight/ making myself look as attractive as possible because I've been told I wasn't attractive enough but have a nice personality. I always thought my personality was strong enough, but was clearly wrong. Now I look pretty good...but maybe looks don't really matter at all.... I can't seem to win in this dating world sigh Thoughts?
AndrewJDC Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 There could be loads of reasons he is with her. Maybe he finds her really attractive, finds her comfortable, it could be anything. You should be happy that you are not attached to this cheating idiot and feel sympathetic to this girl. I suspect he takes a certain amount of comfort being the better looking Parker so falls he can do what he wants I.e. bang slappers on the site with no risk to his safe relationship. Poor girl. 2
oldshirt Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 He's with her because he is a cheating dick and attractive women that have the option of having decent guys are with the decent guys instead. He is with her by default because he is a creep. You have other options so join the ranks of the hot chicks and throw this one back and move on.
hoping2heal Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 The guy is a frequent cheater..here's the lesson you should learn: priorities! Who cares if he's hot physically when he's unfaithful and untrustworthy?! 4
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 He's probably with her because she puts up with the cheating. Dating him would be a lose lose proposition in your life so be happy he showed his true colors before you got emotionally involved. 4
fred123 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 you like him despite him t ellling you all this? am i missing something here with regards to what women want? is OP normal? according to OP its ok for a guy to directly ask sex straightaway and the girl not be turned off. its ok to be a cheater and the girl won't be turned off. its ok to be a dick and an ******* and the girl will still like him. see where I'm getting with this... looks will outshine personality 9 times out of 10
Omei Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 He's probably with her because she puts up with the cheating. Dating him would be a lose lose proposition in your life so be happy he showed his true colors before you got emotionally involved. ^This is my thought as well shes desperate to be with a man shes willing to accept his cheating.^ No he doesn't love her obviously do you think someone who cheats regularly and says its not a big deal is someone who has love for someone else naw I don't even know why your making a post about it id be so over this guy I wouldn't care how cute he was or his situation or the reasons behind them he would just be so gone.
Author Chahy377 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 you like him despite him t ellling you all this? am i missing something here with regards to what women want? is OP normal? according to OP its ok for a guy to directly ask sex straightaway and the girl not be turned off. its ok to be a cheater and the girl won't be turned off. its ok to be a dick and an ******* and the girl will still like him. see where I'm getting with this... looks will outshine personality 9 times out of 10 No it's not ok....and hearing everyone on the thread echo these sentiments reinforces that in my brain. The funny thing is that the reason I liked him was because of his intelligence primarily....and he had no interest in mine or my personality. When he found out I wasn't sexing...he wasn't interested. I guess I was just curious as to why he would continue to have a gf considering everything
Author Chahy377 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 ^This is my thought as well shes desperate to be with a man shes willing to accept his cheating.^ No he doesn't love her obviously do you think someone who cheats regularly and says its not a big deal is someone who has love for someone else naw I don't even know why your making a post about it id be so over this guy I wouldn't care how cute he was or his situation or the reasons behind them he would just be so gone. You're right...I'm getting over the situation. But I honestly do think he loves her in some twisted weird kind of way. Why else would he stay? When he has the possibility of starting something new with other girls that are super attractive and willing and could also have a great personality? I guess the reason why I started this thread was because I thought that looks plus personality was the gold mine in dating....but it wasn't here. She's not attractive, but might have the personality, but he still cheats. I have the personality I'm relatively attractive, but he's no where interested. I don't know maybe I just felt discouraged.
amaysngrace Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I wouldn't believe anything he says. Maybe she pays all of his bills. Maybe he craps all over their relationship and her self-esteem is so low that she's too broken to break up with him. From what you do know you're aware that he doesn't respect people or their feelings. Unless you're suffering with low self-esteem yourself I wouldn't waste one precious moment more wondering about what makes him tick. There are some people in this world that we should be really glad that we cannot relate to because they're just so fcked up. 1
somedude81 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 No it's not ok....and hearing everyone on the thread echo these sentiments reinforces that in my brain. The funny thing is that the reason I liked him was because of his intelligence primarily....and he had no interest in mine or my personality. When he found out I wasn't sexing...he wasn't interested. I guess I was just curious as to why he would continue to have a gf considering everything There are many benefits to having a girlfriend. As it was suggested before, the benefit to her is that she is fine with his cheating. So he gets all the pluses of having a GF and gets to have sex with other women as well.
Purepony Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Maybe she's not as attractive as some of the other girls but she also probably doesn't have the big ego that the attractive girls carry around. I'm in a similar situation where everybody says the girl im seeing is not my type and I can do a lot better but she does everything that all the other attractive girl don't do, we don't have any drama we don't fight everything is smooth sailing I can trust her with money I can trust her with the credit card I can trust you with my car I can trust her with pretty much anything. She has a ba, credit is excellent and has life in order Most of the attractive girls I have dealt with are dummies who still live at home don't make enough money don't have a BA or masters and they just like to party and drink. This is just an opinion though.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) You're right...I'm getting over the situation. But I honestly do think he loves her in some twisted weird kind of way. Why else would he stay? LMAO. You still wanted him even though you knew he was a cheater and hitting on you. So, how is that any more or less twisted? And he's the one that's cheating and you're wondering WHY HE IS STAYING? Lol. Edited January 2, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember 1
preraph Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 It's all part of accumulating women and being able to keep having variety sex. She is attractive enough that he wants to keep her, but more importantly, she voluntarily wears blinders and overlooks his cheating because she wants to keep him no matter what. This also translates to him getting his way in every other facet of their lives. She's stupid and thinks eventually she will "earn his love" and then stop acting this way -- but of course he won't because this is his end goal.
Ruby Slippers Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Maybe she's also cheating on him with less good-looking guys who treat her better 1
Bellaisa Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I really think he loves her...it's confusing to me, if he liked her personality then why cheat? There's a bond there, but it is not strong enough for him to stay committed. For whatever reason he feels that he owes her a relationship. Maybe they've been together since they were kidsMaybe she had his kidMaybe she saved his lifeMaybe she cooks his meals and cleans his underwear for himMaybe he 'thinks' that he loves herMaybe he thinks that cheating is what a man does Who knows. The bottom line is that he obviously doesn't respect her when he openly talks about cheating on her, and for whatever reason he feels that cheating is okay. Not the kind of guy I would want to be around. Also, don't put so much emphasize on physical appearance. It's going to cause you a lot of problems with relationships, your physical health, and your mental health.
MissBee Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) Soooo I met this guy who was gorgeous...he flirted pretty strong but when I asked him if he has a girlfriend he said yes. He wanted to have sex, but I'm not about that life and told him we could remain friends and that I wouldn't have sex with him. He said that he cheats on his gf and has sex with other girls....it wasn't a big deal and he didn't have to tell her. After he saw I would not have sex, he kinda fell back even tho we had great convos and I was genuinely intrigued by his thoughts and opinions about life and enjoyed talking to him. I've seen pics of his gf and she is very unattractive....I'm not trying to be petty or mean, but the girl is not cute. At all. So I'm wondering why would a very attractive guy stay with a very unattractive girlfriend when he cheats on her frequently with much better looking women. And he has no intention of leaving her. He takes care of her, pays all of the bills. I really think he loves her...it's confusing to me, if he liked her personality then why cheat? As far as her body...She is extremely thin...but does have nice boobs. She definitely doesn't have a banging body tho, doesn't do her makeup, and doesn't do her hair. Why am I so interested? I might be a lil jealous lol but also I've spent the last year losing a ton of weight/ making myself look as attractive as possible because I've been told I wasn't attractive enough but have a nice personality. I always thought my personality was strong enough, but was clearly wrong. Now I look pretty good...but maybe looks don't really matter at all.... I can't seem to win in this dating world sigh Thoughts? If winning is finding a "gorgeous" guy who is an unabashed cheater...then let me lose all day. Some men (and women) even if they are gorgeous are still insecure or have issues. People sometimes think good looks alone should mean you sail through the world issue free, no insecurities, just having a ball and it's not true. How you look on the outside doesn't really guarantee your insides will match. For some folks, like a former friend of mine, she specifically dated men she considered not good looking because even though she was good looking she was insecure and fearful of a man leaving her or cheating on her so felt like dating a man whom she felt she was a lot more attractive than would prevent it because he'd feel so lucky to have her that he'd pledge his undying love and be faithful forever and she'd never have to worry and she would have all the control. I understood it on one hand but it was a product of fear and twisted on the other and then she got cheated on anyway by one of her not good looking boyfriends. This guy may be the same. He may be good looking but his constant need to cheat might mean he is insecure and seeks external validation by finding women to sleep with but has this woman "at home" so to speak, whom he might feel will never cheat, who he doesn't have to worry about, where he pays all bills and does everything so has all the control in the relationship and knows she will never leave and he can go out and stroke his ego and come back to his home base. That's one possibility. Either way, I would never be jealous of her or even find him intriguing. If a guy has approached me for sex and is all blasé about how he cheats on his gf all the time and doesn't tell her, I'd probably want to throw up a little on him rather than think he's so intriguing and interesting. Lots of men with issues are interesting and intriguing and full of drama. You can find decent men to be friends with who aren't as messy as he is. It seems you may also be looking for validation in a weird way and in the wrong way by placing it all on looks to the point of even being jealous that gorgeous asshats aren't with you after you've done all this work to look better. Who we want validation from speaks volumes too. This dude isn't worth it and I feel bad for his gf and any other women who gets caught up in his mess and personally if I were you I'd give up the "friends" gig...he doesn't want to be your friend, he approached you for sex, and will likely push for it in the future and all of what you're saying and your interest seems to me like it won't be hard for him to keep pushing until you do it (because maybe part of you wants that validation). So I'd run for the hills personally and evaluate who is a decent guy and if gorgeous should be the main criteria even if he is otherwise a gross person? I'd also consider who you want validation from and what will make you feel good. Most of us have experienced at one time or another wanting validation from the wrong people and ending up in a mess because of it. Edited January 2, 2015 by MissBee
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