BrotherAaron Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 I hate it when my ex tries to contact me. She dumped me, and I was forced to move on... she's still seeing the guy she left me for, so there's not really any point for her telling me that she misses me. It just makes me miss her, and I don't want to. She hurt me, and I don't forgive her for it. If I can't get her to leave me alone, I'll block her, or change my phone number if I half to. I suggest the same thing to anyone who's getting messed around. You don't need that sh*t.
Merin Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Originally posted by beth5201 merin and shamen???? Where are ya??? I have not talked to him and he contunues to call and text. I am NOT giving in this time, although he is saying all the right things and being sweet! UGH Sorry Girl.. had a lot going with work as of late.. ::Merin puts on her cheerleader outfit:: It doesn't matter if he SAYS all the right things.. What matters is DOING all the right things.. Hang in there sista..
RecordProducer Posted March 29, 2005 Posted March 29, 2005 Don't call him! If he loves you, he will call you. If he doesn't, at least you will know not to waste your time with him anymore. You obviously had break-ups before. And you were going back to him as soon as he called. You not only should not call him, but when and if he does, you should refuse to see him or even talk to him. Don't worry, when a man loves a woman he doesn't give up after the first "no." Make him chase you! You see, so far you've shown him that he can leave you and come back whenever he wants and you will wait for him. It's time for him to see that such a behavior will no longer be accepted by you. He will either commit or be forgotten. You've been together for 3 years and his divorce has nothing to do with loving you. If he is going to dump you every time he needs space to solve a problem then you don't need him. You don't need someone who loves you only when the sun shines and has no better things to do. Let him know that he can't get away with it this time. Next time he will think twice before slamming the door in your face.
Author smile95 Posted March 30, 2005 Author Posted March 30, 2005 Is it possible that he really does miss me and is sincere??? I hate that I love him! I want to believe that he has changed and truly misses me? He is leaving messages and text that are so nice(I still have not replied). I kinda know in my head that he is saying this to get me back, but my heart wants to believe he is being sincere. This is hard. He does know what to say to me to get me back since this has happ before, so I cannot let it happen that way again. In one of the texts he said he loved me too much and could not drag me thru this anymore and that is why he stopped contact for 6 weeks. Well, if he loved me soooo much, why did not not communicate that to me before he just stopped talking to me? what to do, what to do.
Summerday Posted March 30, 2005 Posted March 30, 2005 When in doubt, follow your instincts or your gutt feeling. You just said you have a feeling he is saying this only to get you back, but in the back of your head you KNOW things are not going to change. I had one of those guys myself years ago like 6 years ago. The best part of that relationship was when he was begging me back, believe me I'm human and it hurt to see him cry and so sad, but he deserved it...especially after 7 pathetics years of being together. Don't do this to yourself, listen to merin and shamen... they are right!
shamen Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 OMG Beth! I am so sorry that I wasn't around this week , I've been on vacation. What did you do? I hope that you didn't talk to him... and if you did that it was just to say that it was over and get out all of the things that have been bothering you. But please, don't get sucked back in. He's a soulsucker. He is saying what he knows that you want to hear. He has not treated you well over the last 3 years and you know that he'll just drag you back into a vicious cycle of silliness that you do NOT want to be back in... All this crap that he gave you about not contacting you for 6 weeks is CRAP! He's feeding you lines to get you pulled back in, girl! You already know the answer. You said it yourself in your last post... "if he loved me so much, why did he not communicate that to me before he just stopped talking to me?" If he was Mr. Right, he WOULD have communicated that to you beforehand, not after the fact to try to get you back. GRRR to him! Tell me that you're OK and what you ended up doing...
Author smile95 Posted April 2, 2005 Author Posted April 2, 2005 glad you are back!!!! I am having a hard time with this. I have not talked to him, but he has called and text like crazy! He is saying all the right things, but i know it would not last. He just text me now"Are you out partying yet?" He is in Hawaii for work right now. Why is he doing this? He said he loved me so much and no one would ever love me as much as him, they will try and fail. He misses me and wants to see me and wants and needs a kiss. UGH! Where was this man the last 3 yrs? I am not talking, but man, is it hard not to fall for this. It is really what I wanted to hear. I want to talk to him, but i know i will fall back. i know it. Wonder hwy he is doing this? He prob never thought i would give up and when i did, he freaked. Do i respond? He is sending things to make me want to!!!!How was your vacation? Did you go somewhere?missed ya here!
shamen Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 Hi Beth, I'm glad to hear that you have not responded to his pleas. Why is he doing this? Who knows? Maybe he needs some reassurances that you're still in love with him. You did say that he was a narcissist, therefore, maybe he needs that kind of thing in the background? You know that he's saying all of these things to just wriggle his way back into your life. You are better than all that, I know it! I can't tell you how many times my ex would be so apologetic about what he did to get back in with me. Said all the right things, would even be there for me like I needed him to be for a little while, but it NEVER lasted. He would go right back to his old ways once he felt like I had forgiven him for it. (But I never truly did forgive him, it just built up and built up... the trust left our relationship, I put on 35 pounds. I got depressed, I was sad. Then finally, I said, f**k this! I'm getting out of here!) Same thing, as far as I can tell from all of your posts, has been going on with the two of you. He's good to you, he's bad to you, he says all the right things, he gets back in and then it's good for a little while. But it NEVER lasts. Then the cycle repeats itself. Sounds like he probably did all of these things to the exW too, eh? She probably ended up leaving him for all of the same reasons that you've been contemplating. All the reasons that you did leave him. If he did truly care like he should've for you, he would have contacted you before all of this NC to tell you how much he cared for you, rather than just leave you hanging there, hoping for something. You've made the right decision. He didn't call you when you moved, he hasn't been there when you truly needed him to be there for you. You're right, he probably didn't think that you would give up. You've done something that you really haven't done for a few years: you've stood up for yourself and your happiness! Yeah, he is freaking. He thought you were "fall-back girl," and I know that you're not. Stay strong! You've already had six weeks without him and you're dealing. I know that it's going slow, but you'll be OK. Next time I'll be sure to let you know that I'm going out of town! I know how it feels to have someone you count on to keep ya strong! (Vacation was crazy!)
shamen Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 Beth, What is going on? We haven't heard from you in a while. Please don't tell me that because we haven't heard from you that you're back with this guy... Shamen
Author smile95 Posted April 9, 2005 Author Posted April 9, 2005 Shamen, Sorry it has been a while. I needed some time. No, I am not back, but he calls all the time and I started to get my hopes up, but he was only nice for a while and now back to the old him and I know why I wanted out. I am letting go. I do not answer now. I really want to be in love and I do love him, but it is not going to work and he will never change. Thanks for your concern. It has been up and down!
shamen Posted April 9, 2005 Posted April 9, 2005 'Tis OK, Beth. I was just worried about you. Glad that you're not back with him (but if you were, it would be OK to post about that too). Sorry that he's gone back to his old ways after getting your hopes up. Keep us informed about how you are doing... NC is hard to keep up too. Know that I think good thoughts for you.
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