DemonViolinist Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 There is a girl who started working at the same place as me a few months ago and over time we've gotten to know each other pretty well. We have a lot in common and I like her a lot. I think she's nice, funny, pretty, and one of the most compatible persons I've ever met. The problem is she has had a boyfriend for about 4 years. She has brought up marriage before but he won't commit. She doesn't have an engagement ring. They live together, sharing an apartment with one other guy. This should be enough information so that I have no hope of being with her, but allow me to continue. It seems that whenever she invites her boyfriend to do stuff with her he doesn't want to do it, she doesn't talk about him hardly ever, and they seem to just treat each other like guy-friends. He even calls her by her last name sometimes. He seems to be pretty immature at the best of times. What's more is that we were headed over to her apartment to watch a movie but her boyfriend was sick on the couch. So instead, she came over to my place and we watched the movie by ourselves. during that time we really connected, but I didn't put my arm around her or anything because of her boyfriend and my respect for that. But she was being very nice to me... I really wanted to cuddle with her. She had told me about this tattoo she has on the side of her ribs, and she wanted to show it to me. So she did. She stood up off the couch and pulled up her shirt enough for me to see the tattoo, but not her bra or anything else. I feel like this is something she wouldn't do just with anybody, and certainly not if we watched the movie at her place with her boyfriend present. This whole situation was surprising for me because I offered to let her just go home and take care of her sick boyfriend but she insisted she watch this movie with me... Then she ended up staying later than what she told her boyfriend... Then when she left she gave me perhaps the most passionate hug of my life. It just seemed like she wanted to spend some alone time with me. Afterwards, she started texting me a lot, including first thing in the morning afterwards and then we talked on skype for part of the day. I have this feeling she has a thing for me. I hope she does, because I'm starting to have a thing for her. Looking at the signs, it seems like her relationship with her boyfriend is oddly just-friends-ish. The way she talked to me and acted around me seemed to suggest that maybe she wanted me to cuddle with her that evening. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it, and what's worse, how to proceed. Especially because we started another movie and didn't finish it. And she would like to come over and finish seeing it. This makes me nervous because I don't know what to do. Pretend like we're just friends? Tell her that I like her, despite her boyfriend? Should I put my arm around her or anything when we watch a movie together? Ask her if she truly loves her boyfriend? I would actually be scared to do any of those things, out of respect for her existing relationship. At the same time, I could easily imagine her enjoying cuddling with me. What to do?
ThorntonMelon Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Especially because we started another movie and didn't finish it. And she would like to come over and finish seeing it. So you know she's not too much of a girlfriend... This makes me nervous because I don't know what to do. Sure you do, you know just fine you shouldn't be going near her. You just don't like that answer. Pretend like we're just friends? That's your worst case scenario. She bangs the other guy and uses you for companionship. Leaving you a headcase falling for her while she uses you. Tell her that I like her, despite her boyfriend? Uh uh. Should I put my arm around her or anything when we watch a movie together? Nope. You shouldn't watch a movie with her, period. Ask her if she truly loves her boyfriend? This has car wreck all over it. You're going to be on here for months posting "I'm in love with her but she only sees me as a friend..." threads. Oh, and you have no respect at all for her relationship. If you did, you'd tell her "I could be very interested in you and love your company but its clear you need to figure your stuff out and I'm not being honest with you saying its platonic for me. If once you figure things out you're interested in taking things to another level, awesome, if not, I totally understand." 1
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