labayer Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Hi, My boyfriend(30) of 2.5 years still hasn't given me a Christmas gift and I don't know what to think. He was usually always on time to give me Xmas and Bday gifts. This time I went home to visit my family for two weeks and came back a day after Christmas Eve. I obviously had all of his gifts and gave them to him. He didn't have anything for me, just said that he really worked a lot and didn't have any time to buy me something, but that he has ordered something on the internet but it will be delayed a bit because it wasn't in stock. To me that sounds like a bad excuse. I mean he does work a lot, but I remember many times where he had off where he could have gotten something for me. Or he could have ordered something on the internet sooner. By the way, he had gifts for his parents, but only because his brother bought all of them and he just gave him cash. Now it's already the second of January and still no Xmas gift. He also hasn't mentioned it again. I really don't know what to think. He didn't even have a small thing like candy or so, just nothing. Except of that our relationship has been great and I really don't think he doesn't feel committed to me anymore. Anyway, I'm looking for input. What do you think and what would you do in my shoes? Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
WonderKid Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 You got him for XMas!! What are you talking about? Lol But really, if it were me, and my girl forgot, oh I'm not gonna let it pass that easy. I'll let her know that she's gonna have to make up for that tenfold one way or another. Plain and simple. Link to post Share on other sites
Author labayer Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 Yea, I bought him three gifts for a total of 250 Dollars and I thought a long time about what to get him. For me it's not about the money, he can also buy me something for less, but it's about the idea to care about the other person and give him/her something he/she likes. He didn't even give me a bar of chocolate or so... yet. Link to post Share on other sites
Leigh 87 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 oh, my ex of 2.5 years was the same. Some men are really inconsiderate and they don't exactly have a very big heart. They are just like that in general. Often times though, men just settle rather than hold out for the love of their lives or any great love. In short: many men date and remain in monogamous relationships with women who they are not that into. He gets regular sex, companionship and obviously you sound like the type to bend over backwards in order to make him feel special and supported - unfortunately, men in his predicament don't feel the same inclination to really step it up and show you that you ARE " that woman" to him... He either just isn't that into you ( but loves the sex and companionship), or he is just an inconsiderate and selfish type of man! The men I know of who adore and cherish their partners go all out and spoil them each Christmas - with massive hampers from their favourite body care or beauty shop, or beautiful necklaces.... Life is too short to settle. It sounds like YOU are also settling! You can have a man you feel this strongly about yet who also feels very excited about buying you lovely presents for special occasions! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 He sounds really selfish... Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I would be annoyed. I go all out for Christmas & anybody who knows me knows this. So a BF of 2.5 years would be aware & his failure to plan ahead & have something would bug me. DH screwed up Christmas a few years ago. I didn't hide how hurt I was. The "late" presents didn't make up for it & he has done a wonderful job ever since. Tell him how hurt you are. See if his behavior improves & if he's contrite for hurting you. If not, you may have to rethink the relationship. What else will he take for granted in the future? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 You can usually check delivery of packages online. Tell him to check to see if it's in transit. If he forgot, he could pay extra and have it sent Next Day delivery. Link to post Share on other sites
EngnimaticResponse Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Hi, My boyfriend(30) of 2.5 years still hasn't given me a Christmas gift and I don't know what to think. He was usually always on time to give me Xmas and Bday gifts. This time I went home to visit my family for two weeks and came back a day after Christmas Eve. I obviously had all of his gifts and gave them to him. He didn't have anything for me, just said that he really worked a lot and didn't have any time to buy me something, but that he has ordered something on the internet but it will be delayed a bit because it wasn't in stock. To me that sounds like a bad excuse. I mean he does work a lot, but I remember many times where he had off where he could have gotten something for me. Or he could have ordered something on the internet sooner. By the way, he had gifts for his parents, but only because his brother bought all of them and he just gave him cash. Now it's already the second of January and still no Xmas gift. He also hasn't mentioned it again. I really don't know what to think. He didn't even have a small thing like candy or so, just nothing. Except of that our relationship has been great and I really don't think he doesn't feel committed to me anymore. Anyway, I'm looking for input. What do you think and what would you do in my shoes? Thanks. First, the day after Christmas Eve is Christmas Day. I assume you mean the day after Christmas, ie the 26th. Let's look at the other 'facts'. 1. What is his profession? This is a busy time of year for many businesses. 2. Shopping, in stores or online, is a nightmare around the holidays. 3. Getting anything shipped in a timely manner is near impossible. Esp. if done last-minute. 4. You were not around for the holiday anyway. I'd say at least give him till the 'big reveal'. Whenever it arrives. I'd get an eta from him. He should know. You can look up the tracking on most packages these days. Link to post Share on other sites
samaraa Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I take it this is the same guy who bought Skype credit to call his ex, and was researching travel for her from Barcelona-Milan? I think the late gift is a bit impolite, but it's also possible he ordered you something super-extra-special that might be worth the wait (although he should have planned better). But what concerns me from your other posts, is how apparently solicitous and concerned he was about his ex in another country, but hasn't yet given you an xmas gift. Even something small as a token. You took care selecting nice gifts for him. I understand why you'd feel bad. Hopefully this is an isolated incident and not indicative of a larger problem. I'd ask him about tracking. Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) My ex like never returned the gesture all the time I would buy holiday gifts or just random mementos of love and he never did anything back I didnt care about the money either if he did something so much as be like oh here I got you your favorite treat I would of been filled with joy I did eventually get gifts when he clued in but they were always things id say thats nice I like that and than hed buy and say thats your gift it was never a surprise or thought out always something I picked our dates were the same too. I have never been in a relationship where a guy will gift or plan the date....so I think thats just how men are. The romantic ones are taken =[ Edited January 2, 2015 by Omei Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 I have never been in a relationship where a guy will gift or plan the date....so I think thats just how men are. The romantic ones are taken =[ That's very sad but don't give up hope. Often it isn't until after they have made their share of mistakes that they know how to make a woman feel special. As men grow up they often learn. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Is something else going on here? I mean, some say that if a guy is upset about something - it comes out around those things he's supposed to remember (i.e. B-day, V-day, Mother's Day) and any other "special" things he does (i.e. putting gas in your car on the regular). I mean, if he's done Xmas gifts on the regular and missed this time, somethings up, IMO. I mean, with the commercialization of Xmas, no matter how busy you are, you cannot forget it. Link to post Share on other sites
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