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When he asks you 'how many men have you been with'?


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Posted
He will use your truth as a bludgeon to make himself feel superior to you. If your number is any more than 2, then he's going to think ill of you. I mean, he already does---otherwise, he wouldn't have asked you that kind of a question at this point in your interaction with one another. He'll use it as an excuse to determine that you are a liar, you cannot be trusted and that you'll sleep with every guy who walks past your nose because HE is the one who is insecure. He's already shown you that by trying to do damage control on him being " a nice guy".

 

 

Thanks kendahke...maybe my cautiousness came from somewhere? maybe it's a warning?

 

 

P.S. I just want everyone to know that if I was with a guy and it felt serious and that we had a good bond, I wouldn't lie to him or hide information. It was perhaps the case that alarm bells were ringing in my head because something about the situation meant that I wasn't ready to open up to him that quickly...

Posted

I agree it's a messed up question to ask.

 

If asked, I would answer honestly.

 

I wouldn't want to be with a guy who judged such things. It would save time and energy.

  • Like 1
Posted

Sometimes a high number is indicative of self esteem problems in a girl. I've never asked the question like this myself, probably I never worried about the self esteem of the date. But I can imagine situations where an answer to the question maybe extremely informative.

Posted

Yes and a very low number to 0 is indicative of insecurity problems in a guy.....

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Yes and a very low number to 0 is indicative of insecurity problems in a guy.....

 

Ahh the stereotypes had to come out eventually didn't they?

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Ahh the stereotypes had to come out eventually didn't they?

 

I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure that was the point of her post as a response to the previous post. It was a reply, not sincere. I laughed.

  • Like 1
Posted
Ahh the stereotypes had to come out eventually didn't they?

 

Umirano was stereo typing about women, but you never bothered to make comment on that....so what does that make you?

Posted
I'm no expert, but I'm fairly sure that was the point of her post as a response to the previous post. It was a reply, not sincere. I laughed.

 

I confirm this yes tongue and cheek response :laugh:

Posted

The correct answer is if ANYONE asks, it's probably GAME OVER.

 

Because no matter what, they will pass judgment on the number, no matter how high or how low. Once that question has been asked, whether the answer is truth or a lie... you guys/girls need to understand:

 

It's not the answer that matters, it's the question.

  • Like 6
Posted

I usually answer that I'm not entirely sure, which is the truth. I have never been judged because of it, or if I was it didn't change how they acted towards me.

Posted
I usually answer that I'm not entirely sure, which is the truth. I have never been judged because of it, or if I was it didn't change how they acted towards me.

I know of a couple of people (both M & F) who have said that and it was because the number was quite high and they sort of lost count. They are not sure as they were drunk & high a fair bit when young + they never really worried about such things as numbers or names when living life to the max. People might assume that when you give such an answer, but its worked out well for you and thats what counts.

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Posted

I think this guy would be a no go anyway even if he was interested. We have too many connections through mutual friends.

 

 

I dated a guy in his friendship group. This was about a year ago when I was busy needlessly starting major drama in my life. This guy that I dated last year, I ended up going too far with on one date (this was our 2nd or 3rd date) but he told me he loved me in the middle of the act and I got a little spooked. I also realised that since he has two children and I'm unsettled career-wise (i.e. I could end up living anywhere and he needs to be near his kids, who live with their mum), we were incompatible for a relationship. So I ended up calling quits and starting a relationship with another guy I had been spending time with (but hadn't had sex with by that stage). I called it off with him as soon as I realised (the day after we had done the deed) and apologised profusely for leading him on unintentionally. I thought it was better to do it as soon as I knew so I didn't lead him on further. This had the unfortunate consequence of making it seem like I'd used him for sex, which was not what I intended, although I was pulling moves on him (but it does take two).

 

 

I know. It's a horrible thing which I deeply regret. :( So anyway, this guy is friends with my friend's brother, and her brother is also my fitness instructor. My friend's brother was so angry at me that he made fun of me in front of the whole class and called me a whore in front of everyone. The friend's brother talks to me but I can tell doesn't really like me. I wouldn't be surprised if this guy (the subject of my original post) has caught wind of the whole story.

 

 

I think this is all too much drama for me and I need to look to date guys outside of that social circle. I've deleted his texts from my phone - couldn't delete him from my phonebook yet so I've just changed his name to 'ignore'.

  • Author
Posted
The correct answer is if ANYONE asks, it's probably GAME OVER.

 

Because no matter what, they will pass judgment on the number, no matter how high or how low. Once that question has been asked, whether the answer is truth or a lie... you guys/girls need to understand:

 

It's not the answer that matters, it's the question.

 

 

Thanks. I'm beginning to understand this. I had an ex last year who asked me my number and into our relationship he turned up to be an uptight *******. Here he was judging me as well when he's always trying to bed women (I think this was part of his inadequacies as he told me stories about times he'd tried to have sex with women or had been turned down by them, and called them 'slutty bitches'). I'm legit so scarred by his attitude towards me and women in general, that it's affected ever since. :/

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he'd tried to have sex with women or had been turned down by them, and called them 'slutty bitches' :/

 

Eew. Misogyny does not make a good boyfriend.

Posted
I agree it's a messed up question to ask.

 

If asked, I would answer honestly.

 

So would I. "None of your business" is an honest answer!
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