KLD89 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 As the title says. Basically, I broke up with my long term girlfriend (7 years) and have been single for about a year now. I'm ready to get back out there, and recently met a really nice girl online. We chatted for a few months about various things that really got me interested in her. We finally decided to meet a few weeks ago, and I was so nervous, I forgot everything we talked about, and everything I wanted to ask her. Instead, I asked awkward questions while my minds memory banks continued to refuse to cooperate. An hour later and the date was over. She thought I was a nice guy and agreed to a second date, and to prevent the first disaster from repeating itself, I have literally re-read through all our chat logs, starting from the beginning, and this time taking notes on all the things that I really liked about her, so we can chat about that (basically the stuff that got us meeting in the first place). I don't know why, but this seems like I'm writing up queue cards. Obviously I won't be all like "Ok, next question", but is this crazy, or is this a good thing to do? It's always good to be ready for dates with people you don't really know, but a second opinion would be appreciated.
adiamond Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I try not to plan conversations too much because it can seem planned and sometimes awkward (from experience). The most important thing is to try to calm yourself for conversations to flow naturally and sometimes that takes a little time to be comfortable with each other. Take a little time at the beginning of the date and take a deep breath. Maybe workout before the date or stay busy and do a hobby before the date. Most importantly, just do what makes your comfortable (be yourself!) because at the end of the day, you want to be with someone who likes you for you (nervous or not)
preraph Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 You're going to be fine. It's normal to feel nervous and extra vulnerable first new person after a big breakup. Breakups erode self-confidence. But you waited long enough to get yourself stable and you'll be fine once you get back in the saddle. Just don't forget it truly is a numbers game for most of us unfortunates, so you cannot allow yourself to be discouraged if all dates don't lead to something long-term.
Assada Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 II think its crazy. The worst thing about going on a date, is going on a date where you get interviewed. It should never be an interview. If shes not willing to participate in the convo, then you'll just have to stay in silence for a while
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