Kitana Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I have been dating a guy I met online for a little over 2 months now, and for the last few days I've been feeling like maybe he's close to saying those 3 words.. or maybe I'm reading him entirely wrong. I don't know. It started a couple days ago, we were talking on the phone and I told him about an adult store he had never been too. It has one of those fun-house tunnels that spin while you walk over a little bridge (makes you feel like your going to fall off). Well, it just so happens they call it the "tunnel of love". When I told him that, he laughed and started cracking jokes about how he knows I love him. I got a little playfully defensive, and he says (Jokingly) "Babe, babe, its okay.. I think we're ready to say those special words" and playfully said he loved me too. I laughed, and the topic was dropped. Next night we talked on the phone again, I joked about my weight (which he hates) and I asked him why he gets so upset when I poke fun at myself and he said "because I love your body, I love your mind and I.. care about you" Tuesday night I stayed over until Thursday morning, we spent new years together. Late Tuesday night, I asked him why he always laughs or smiles at me nearly any time I go to kiss him, or initiate any affection. He kept saying he would never tell me. Than on new years eve night, a few beers in, he told me he would make me a deal and tell me why at midnight if I didn't have a cigarette until than. Once midnight hit, our buzzes were long gone, but he gave me a kiss and told me it was because he "really likes me" and it "makes him smile any time he looks into my eyes" and called me beautiful. I already know I love this guy. He is amazing.. he's funny, he's sweet, He's a good person, he makes me feel so incredibly special.. I still get butterflies when he touches me.. but I do NOT want to be the first one to say it! In every relationship I have always had to take initiative and make the first move.. I really, really want him to take the first step here.. Advice? 1
hoping2heal Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 This post was really cute to read. Oh those were the days... I think you shouldn't worry about it. He cares about you and it has only been a few months. He will say it when he is ready. You have nothing to worry about so don't 1
todreaminblue Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I am smiling large....... your opening post was so sweet ..so enjoyable to read and joyful for you to share this.....i am sure my eyes are gleaming i can feel it.,a burn behind my eyeballs..... he already has told you ....not in exact words but in actions with thoughtful behaviours and a love that is to me very obvious in words you shared here..........enjoy girlfriend i am so very happy for you..what a pair of sweethearts you both are.......dont sweat the small stuff......enjoy the penguin love .......deb
bachdude Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I have been dating a guy I met online for a little over 2 months now, and for the last few days I've been feeling like maybe he's close to saying those 3 words.. or maybe I'm reading him entirely wrong. I don't know. It started a couple days ago, we were talking on the phone and I told him about an adult store he had never been too. It has one of those fun-house tunnels that spin while you walk over a little bridge (makes you feel like your going to fall off). Well, it just so happens they call it the "tunnel of love". When I told him that, he laughed and started cracking jokes about how he knows I love him. I got a little playfully defensive, and he says (Jokingly) "Babe, babe, its okay.. I think we're ready to say those special words" and playfully said he loved me too. I laughed, and the topic was dropped. Next night we talked on the phone again, I joked about my weight (which he hates) and I asked him why he gets so upset when I poke fun at myself and he said "because I love your body, I love your mind and I.. care about you" Tuesday night I stayed over until Thursday morning, we spent new years together. Late Tuesday night, I asked him why he always laughs or smiles at me nearly any time I go to kiss him, or initiate any affection. He kept saying he would never tell me. Than on new years eve night, a few beers in, he told me he would make me a deal and tell me why at midnight if I didn't have a cigarette until than. Once midnight hit, our buzzes were long gone, but he gave me a kiss and told me it was because he "really likes me" and it "makes him smile any time he looks into my eyes" and called me beautiful. I already know I love this guy. He is amazing.. he's funny, he's sweet, He's a good person, he makes me feel so incredibly special.. I still get butterflies when he touches me.. but I do NOT want to be the first one to say it! In every relationship I have always had to take initiative and make the first move.. I really, really want him to take the first step here.. Advice? Oh, he is definitely headed that direction. He has already indicated it by saying, "because I love your body, I love your mind and I.. care about you" Just give it time and enjoy the relationship! 1
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 The fact that you refer to it as a bomb -- something destructive to be feared -- concerns me. The fact that he's using the word in other contexts, less scary ones, tells me he's getting used to the idea & sensitizing you to hearing it. Don't pressure but you may be able to nudge, like the next time he says he loves your body, ask if that's all he loves.
spiderowl Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 He's already hinted very heavily, indeed said in some contexts, that he loves you. I think if when he said something, you smiled and showed you were happy with what he was saying, he would feel braver to come out say it clearly in a way which couldn't be misunderstood. He just needs love and encouragement - like you! 1
twinkie0 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 are you in middle school or something? don't worry, be patient and he'll do it eventually. guys usually take the initiative on saying that best of luck!
acrosstheuniverse Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 The fact that you refer to it as a bomb -- something destructive to be feared -- concerns me. The fact that he's using the word in other contexts, less scary ones, tells me he's getting used to the idea & sensitizing you to hearing it. Don't pressure but you may be able to nudge, like the next time he says he loves your body, ask if that's all he loves. It's just common vernacular, the majority of people in my social circle use 'ooh so when did he drop the L-Bomb?' or bombs for any number of things/words... 'oh awesome, he dropped the cohabitation bomb!?' or even 'so then I was stood there in church, tripped over and actually dropped the F-Bomb in front of the reverend' haha. It sounds a little goofy written down but I think it's cute. I think he's working his way up to it, but whatever you do, don't nudge or push. Let him say it when he's ready to say it. If all is going well in your relationship, then you should be so busy enjoying how it feels to be around him you're not focused on when he says those words in my opinion. When someone is overly concerned with waiting to hear the words, it suggests to me they're more focused on hearing that then they are with their new partner overall. Not saying that's you, you haven't really given me any indication of that. But I do think pressuring him to say it would be counter intuitive and also ruin the magic of that moment when he chooses to say it freely. In the relationship I'm in at the moment it started off with stuff like 'I really like you' 'I really love where this is going', progressed onto 'I absolutely adore you' and then one night we both just kinda knew that we'd been trying to hold back from accidentally saying 'I love you' because it was how we really felt. My boyfriend said he'd never been told it first, he'd always been the first person to say it, and he'd always wanted to hear it first from someone as in the past he thought maybe one or two girls had said it as a reflex awkwardly, because they weren't sure what else to say haha. So I worked up the nerve to finally say it, after being laid there together under the duvet for like two hours, then he said it straight after. It was a pretty awesome memory actually, one of the better times I've exchanged the L-Bomb So yeah, don't push him. Don't even mention it anymore. These things take time and two months isn't all that long. As long as there's verbal frequent affection between you, then it's going really well. Savour this awesome exciting butterflies feeling because you'll never get this lovely pre-L-Bomb time of your relationship back again.
Conners Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 The fact that you refer to it as a bomb -- something destructive to be feared -- concerns me. Oh please.. I rolled my eyes reading that. Way to make something out of nothing. OP, he's definitely nearly there. Guys get just as nervous as us girls do about saying it.
Poppygoodwill Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Advice? Just take your time. What's the rush? Enjoy his company and let things unfold naturally.
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