justme25 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Me and my husband have been together for three years and he seems to be a bit controlling and manipulative now and I don't know how to handle the whole situation at all he tells me I can't wear dresses that come above the knee doesn't like me wearing heels cause they make me taller whenever I put on make up he asks who I'm getting pretty for whenever I'm out it's where am I where am I going and that's the sad part cause I don't have a way to go anywherethe car we do have he drives it to work where he's a live in employee that helps troubled children so if we do spend any time together it's at the most two days a week and I'm stuck at home all day with our two year old son I'm lucky to get out 4 times a month and the last time I went out for myself to have some fun was in 2013 i have no one to watch him and I have no friends but what really bothers me is that whenever he is home his phone is ringing nonstop random numbers and people I don't know my brother tells me stuff about him but he doesn't want us together anyway so I can't determine if it's true but I'm not happy I love him but this is not where I want to be at this point in my life what should I do I feel trapped and have absolutely no one to talk to
coolheadal Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Have you sat down and talk to your husband about how you feel the marriage is going. You need communication and you have a son there that needs both parents. You had made a comment that you don't have anyone to watch him! That's your son he needs you he's only 2 years old. You should care more about him since you wanted to have kids. Your husband on the other hand has forgotten one basic rule in marriage which is he's works so much but not giving you attention or a break. He's should be watching your son or hire someone to help in the day so you can get out more. Even if you just have one car, call a taxi service to come out to pick you up. If your still not willing to try to save your marriage then, you need to tell your husband. Even though you might not want too save it, you have a child together. If you didn't have a child that's a different story. No matter how you feel right now the child comes first. You two come second. Another thing your husband needs to take a vacation for all 3 of your to get a break. 3 week one if he can managed to get a cover for that long. Stand-up to him your letting control you with what you want to wear. That's another thing why would you let him control you like that. If you want to wear make-up so you can look nice for him. Heels and low cut dresses that up to you not him. Your life your not a door mat, and your son needs both parents. All what you said can be worked out but if you keep quiet nothing is going to get any better.
hoping2heal Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 This sounds like you are being groomed to be setup for abuse. This type of controlling behavior is actually already defined as a type of abuse. Is leaving him something you are willing to consider? Also, have you ever talked to him about how it makes you feel that he tries to control you this way? If so, what has the response been?
Author justme25 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Coolheadal yes I have tried to talk to him we have even discussed divorce because of this it'slike everything is good for awhile then it's back to the same stuff like he does it just to hook me back and the only reason I said I have nobody to watch him is so I could possibly find a job my son is the world to me:mad: but it's like his mindset is stuck on some terrible vision of what a woman should be hoping2heal I've tried so many times to leave but it's hard when u have no support nowhere to go to.
CarrieT Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Please use punctuation. It is very hard to read run-on sentences with no breaks... That said, you two have discussed divorce so it is in the air for both of you. Unless you BOTH want to address the issues with in-depth counseling, I would suggest you start envisioning a life on your own and taking steps towards that end; I think you will be much happier in the long run on your own and able to find someone who truly appreciates you, supports you, and will let you live free and not feel trapped. 1
loveboid Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I think you should call a women's support hotline. This guy, in my opinion, is abusive and controlling. Controlling people are very stressful to be around and I think you're under a lot of stress now. The only way to make a situation better with a controlling person is to leave the person, which is very, very hard to do because the controlling person makes it hard! It's not your fault! This is why you need someone else to help, someone you trust who won't get you into trouble with this guy. I hope you reach out more. I really do. {{{Hugs}}} 2
Author justme25 Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Thank u so much loveboid for the support and I will continue to reach out more and hopefully find my way out.
loveboid Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Thank u so much loveboid for the support and I will continue to reach out more and hopefully find my way out. I'm so happy to hear this and you're very welcome. You're already on your way out and there is hope! :bunny:
Recommended Posts