does this confirm im not in love?

[beached]

We moved to an island 10 years back (both second marriages) we decided to give it a few years to see if it worked. Anne now has a pretty special grandchild and wants to spend more time helping, using a small mainland house we have. We agreed to winter there but I hate city living now. Anne now wants to sell up and move back completely.

 

In my heart I know that I'm being selfish but I want to stay here; I'm contented for the first time in my life and just love the life. I'm in my 60"s so don't have decades to play with! I'm sadly resigned to accepting that where I want to be is now more important than being with my wife. We are both unhappy.

 

This dilemma just goes round and round... Any thoughts are welcome

[todreaminblue]

hey beached,

 

I completely understand your dilemma......island life is a beautiful life especially in retirement......i am guessing your wife is around the same age as you also.....what attracted your wife to move to the island in the first place...also please explain "special " grandchild...deb

[loveboid]

It's refreshing that you both know what you want. You're both adults. I say go with your heart.

[Hardgrind]

Beached, you posted on the infidelity forum but don't mention any affairs by either you or your wife in your post. Is your situation a matter of different lifestyle desires or are there other romantic relationships at play?

[bathtub-row]

I know of a couple that have homes Hawaii and San Francisco. The husband hates the cold and tends to stay in Hawaii. Every now and then they travel but he's older and prefers to stay where he is. They are very close and loving. When I went to dinner with them once, they sat at the table holding hands. But a lot of the time, she's in San Francisco.

 

I wouldn't say this has anything to do with love. The two of you should be mature and secure enough to do what makes you happy and still stay emotionally close to one another.