aggie382 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 The guy I'm dating and now exclusive with has a son with his ex. They have a very amicable parenting relationship. They are Facebook friends, and comment on each other's stuff like any friend would. They share holidays together because of their son. She's a pleasant person, but a little unintelligent. I am not threatened by her, but I just don't like her very existence, I feel like her existence looms over our relationship. In normal breakups, the ex just goes away. But that's not the case when the ex is the co-parent of your child. It's frustrating!! Does anyone have any advice for how to navigate my relationship with my new boyfriend and to not get irritated and annoyed when she comes up in conversation, she comes over to pick up or drop off their son, that sort of thing?
Gaeta Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Yes, you need to mature a little more. If you cannot handle the fact your bf has a child with another woman, and that woman will be in his life for the rest of his life, then don't date men with children. I make a point of being friendly with 'the moms'. I am a divorced mother and I also make a point of being friendly with my ex-husband's new wife. 2
Author aggie382 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 I make a point of being friendly with 'the moms'. I am a divorced mother and I also make a point of being friendly with my ex-husband's new wife. Any tips on how to do that without stepping on toes in some way? I fear doing that.
hoping2heal Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Any tips on how to do that without stepping on toes in some way? I fear doing that. Just be polite and nice without laying it on so thick it is un-natural. I don't think you will be stepping on any toes. I don't think your BF ever wants to be stuck in the middle between his and and his GF. I am sure seeing you behave maturely and securely will be very welcome to him and of course, I would think two amicable exes is much easier on his son than two fueding or snarky ones. They are doing what is best for their son and if you can learn to think about that too, I think it can only stand to benefit your relationship with your BF. 4
CALOVELY Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I just wanted to stop in to point out that it takes a heck of alot of maturity to set aside differences for the benefit of their child and they seem to be doing everything right. Friends, nice to one another. Do not resent her for that. You could have it 10 times worse with the two of them at each others throats and you in the middle of it. If anything, be nice to her. Who knows where this relationship will lead but having her in your corner will go a very long way. 3
Satu Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Any tips on how to do that without stepping on toes in some way? I fear doing that. Just let them get on with it as people who have to work together on a particular task. That's the fact of the matter.
Gaeta Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Any tips on how to do that without stepping on toes in some way? I fear doing that. You just start by giving them a sincere smile when they drop by and saying hello. You can also just start a casual exchange on the weather or other trivial subjects and see if she is reciprocating with the same warmth. When my ex-husband came by with his new wife to pick up our daughter I would invite them in, offer coffee, started conversation. With time her and I became more friendly, we discovered common interests, we had the same sense of humor, etc. 2
Ann253 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 You have been given good advise! As the mom I found it easy to get along with the new wife by judging how she treated my kids. She was good to them, so she was good in my book. Now I conunicate with her more than I do my ex lol I'm currently dating a single dad, and am on the other side. I recently met the mom, and it was kind of awkward, but I hope she will do as I did. I treat her kids well, so I hope that as things progress we can be friendly. 2
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