SJC2008 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 They say if you wait for the perfect person you'll never find him/her. While I get the jest of what it means I take issue with this statement to a certain extent. While it's obvious that nobody's perfect, where are the people who will admit they're wrong? About whatever it is... Besides infidelity and money problems I think one of the top three reasons relationships/marriages fail is because nobody wants to concede. They'd rather it be someone else's fault because it's certainly not theirs. As trivial as it may seem to some people I thino this is one of the biggest factors in succeeding in a relationship/marriage. How can you grow with a person if they won't admit they're wrong/need to change something? When you shouldn't have to be "the bigger" person in a relationship. I'm not saying I have, I don't have a lot of R exp but it's funny how some people are turned off by a lack of "experience" when they could be one of those people who'd rather be dead than wrong. No, nobody's perfect but where are the people who will admit it beyond just saying it? Just throwing something out there to kick around. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Since life and people are constantly changing, what's perfect one moment can be decidedly imperfect the next. Perhaps a permutation of the maxim I often use in business may apply. In business, one establishes a boundary of the 'acceptable level of corruption'; in personal relationships, that can read as the 'acceptable level of imperfection'. Humans are naturally self-involved and ego-centric to varying degrees and one must establish boundaries of tolerance, just as others do for one in their dealings. If there's a meeting of the minds, success. If other, next. Those dynamics proceed from moment to moment until one is dead, presuming one interacts with other humans. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 For sure, having to always be right and never admitting wrong is a personality trait to avoid. Most people can be that way at times or under certain circumstances, and can be more flexible under different circumstances. Communication and conflict resolution are very important skills in a relationship, and also when raising kids! IME, over years of marriage, my partner and I have both become better at resolving conflict and avoiding the polarizing right/wrong approach altogether. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aggie382 Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Since life and people are constantly changing, what's perfect one moment can be decidedly imperfect the next. Perhaps a permutation of the maxim I often use in business may apply. In business, one establishes a boundary of the 'acceptable level of corruption'; in personal relationships, that can read as the 'acceptable level of imperfection'. Humans are naturally self-involved and ego-centric to varying degrees and one must establish boundaries of tolerance, just as others do for one in their dealings. If there's a meeting of the minds, success. If other, next. Those dynamics proceed from moment to moment until one is dead, presuming one interacts with other humans. I like this idea. OP, there will be imperfects for which a person doesn't and shouldn't have to say they're 'wrong.' For example, maybe they snore. Maybe they don't keep an immaculate home, and prefer a lived-in feel. Maybe they like their steak a little more than the gym. These things don't make them 'wrong,' just imperfect to someone who's a light-sleeper, an OCD neat freak, or a super fit gym rat. You have to determine what you can and can't handle as we're imperfect just by being human. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Everyone has their own image of "perfect". I find it pretty naive to just say "take anything you can get, ignore your own preferences about what attracts you". Most of the time the little details blur out anyway as soon as the positives weigh more than the negatives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 2, 2015 Share Posted January 2, 2015 Just having two bathrooms could save many a marriage! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SJC2008 Posted January 2, 2015 Author Share Posted January 2, 2015 Just having two bathrooms could save many a marriage! I wish I could like this twice! Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I think they just mean you will find the RIGHT person for you. A suitable person. Not a person who is 100% perfect.. Link to post Share on other sites
Rydo Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 I dispute that nobodies perfect. And you would too if you met me Link to post Share on other sites
welshbambi Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Nobody is perfect because perfection is relative. I know what essential criteria I am looking for, but there is a lot of stuff that other people would consider important that I don't, so in that sense there would be things that I wouldn't place too much weight on or "compromise" on. And what I am looking for has changed with each relationship. Things that were important before aren't important now, and things I thought wouldn't be an issue I have now realised, through experience, are deal breakers. Link to post Share on other sites
FitChick Posted January 3, 2015 Share Posted January 3, 2015 Whenever I see "Nobody's perfect" I am reminded of one of the lines in movie history. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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