Heisenberger Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 (edited) Hi everyone. Hope you're all well and haven't suffered too much over the holdays I've been on a certain dating site for a couple of weeks, been talking to a few girls on there and trying to not invest too much in one person just yet. There is one girl imperticular who has caught a little more of my attention the more we've been talking. With Christmas approaching, I know people are busy and doing family things, like myself. I know not speaking for a while can burn off some interest so I hinted at a date after the Christmas madness was over she seemed very keen and said "for sure". With Christmas over and done with I left it a few days and picked up the conversation again. I think we have a lot in common, inc sense of houmor and get on pretty well. A couple more days pass and she have me her number saying it would be easier to talk through text. We spoke again a few time over the next couple of days. NYE approached, she asked my plans and I explained I was pretty undicisive about what I was doing and said I'd rather have a chilled night in. She said she was doing the same. I thought that it would be a good time and asked her if she wanted to get out for a bit, we could hook up and hit the town early. My request was ignored lol. But the conversation carried on playfully. Basically, what I'm trying to understand is why she would give me her number but ignore my request for a date? Does she want to get to know me better first? Does she see me as a ego boost? I'm not thinking in to it too much, I know I don't have problems getting dates. I only want to persue and not chase. Basically wondering if I'm barking up the wrong tree? How long do I give before a date? Thanks for reading and sorry for the essay Edited January 1, 2015 by Heisenberger
Assada Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 It soundslike its all going good. 1st of all. See other women, set up dates with other women, dont just concentrate on this one girl 2nd of all, Dont concentrate on locking her into a "date". In fact dont even call it a date, you want to put as little pressure on the situation as possible You want to talk to her for about 2 weeks or something, then you want to ask her ro hang out at some place. If she ignores it, or seems like she doesnt want to do it. Say "Contact me whenever you want to go out and have some fun" Then dont contact her again. - A lot of women, might just like chatting with another guy and the ego boost. good luck man 1
Author Heisenberger Posted January 1, 2015 Author Posted January 1, 2015 It soundslike its all going good. 1st of all. See other women, set up dates with other women, dont just concentrate on this one girl 2nd of all, Dont concentrate on locking her into a "date". In fact dont even call it a date, you want to put as little pressure on the situation as possible You want to talk to her for about 2 weeks or something, then you want to ask her ro hang out at some place. If she ignores it, or seems like she doesnt want to do it. Say "Contact me whenever you want to go out and have some fun" Then dont contact her again. - A lot of women, might just like chatting with another guy and the ego boost. good luck man Nice one dude. I still dating and talking to other women, she just seems pretty cool. I've had a few dates before and I just find it's easy to build a different picture of someone through text. Then they turn out to be completely different in the flesh. 1
Assada Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 Nice one dude. I still dating and talking to other women, she just seems pretty cool. I've had a few dates before and I just find it's easy to build a different picture of someone through text. Then they turn out to be completely different in the flesh. Thats what happens man. Thats why they say, You never know someone, until you meet them in real life 2
angel.eyes Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I thought that it would be a good time and asked her if she wanted to get out for a bit, we could hook up and hit the town early. My request was ignored lol. But the conversation carried on playfully. Basically, what I'm trying to understand is why she would give me her number but ignore my request for a date? Does she want to get to know me better first? Does she see me as a ego boost? Did you actually suggest you "hook up" on New Year's Eve??? What exactly did you say? 1
Author Heisenberger Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) Did you actually suggest you "hook up" on New Year's Eve??? What exactly did you say? After she hinted that she wasn't doing anything I said "Well, if you don't change your plans and you fancy getting out for a bit. Could go for a couple of drinks, get em in early?" Normally I wouldn't ask someone out New Years. Considering I had a good opening, I took it. What I'm asking is. I've been speaking to her for a could of weeks, how long do I leave it before I ask again? A week? Or do I just leave her to ask when she feels more comfortable? Edited January 2, 2015 by Heisenberger 1
Diezel Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Ask again. I have a feeling she is wasting your time and is just doing it for the attention and conversation. I'd rather get rejected early on then play the "time game" and try to figure it out. She's on a dating website, that's supposed to be the purpose... not to develop text buddies. Personally, if more than a week goes by without planning something or even a phone number, I'm out. There's no reason for endless texting sessions with a total stranger. 3
Author Heisenberger Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 (edited) Ask again. I have a feeling she is wasting your time and is just doing it for the attention and conversation. I'd rather get rejected early on then play the "time game" and try to figure it out. She's on a dating website, that's supposed to be the purpose... not to develop text buddies. Personally, if more than a week goes by without planning something or even a phone number, I'm out. There's no reason for endless texting sessions with a total stranger. She gave me her number two days before nye. You think I should ask her now or leave it a week? How would tackle asking the second time? I'll See where I go from there, If not, I'll move on. Cheers Edited January 2, 2015 by Heisenberger
fred123 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 be direct. ask her if she wants to go to a bar for a couple if drinks or dinner next week. simples 1
Diezel Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 She gave me her number two days before nye. You think I should ask her now or leave it a week? How would tackle asking the second time? I'll See where I go from there, If not, I'll move on. Cheers You just ASK, be direct. Stop beating around the bush. Don't have a conversation and then include that in there. Straight up ask or TELL her that you want to meet her at XXX place at XXX time. That's it. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 After she hinted that she wasn't doing anything I said "Well, if you don't change your plans and you fancy getting out for a bit. Could go for a couple of drinks, get em in early?" Normally I wouldn't ask someone out New Years. Considering I had a good opening, I took it. What I'm asking is. I've been speaking to her for a could of weeks, how long do I leave it before I ask again? A week? Or do I just leave her to ask when she feels more comfortable? You took a shot. Good for you. Since she ignored it but kept on talking, it wasn't a deal breaker but she didn't want to deal with a 1st date on NYE, especially since it was a last minute thing. She probably felt like you asked her out of pity because you didn't have anything better going on. I'm not saying you did. I am saying that I may have harbored similar doubts & would never go on an OLD 1st meet early on NYE. Keep chatting with her at a pace that feels comfortable. No earlier than Monday Jan 5, ask her on a proper date: i.e. would you like to meet for a drink on Thursday? If you don't get a positive response to that, move along. 1
fred123 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 You took a shot. Good for you. Since she ignored it but kept on talking, it wasn't a deal breaker but she didn't want to deal with a 1st date on NYE, especially since it was a last minute thing. She probably felt like you asked her out of pity because you didn't have anything better going on. I'm not saying you did. I am saying that I may have harbored similar doubts & would never go on an OLD 1st meet early on NYE. Keep chatting with her at a pace that feels comfortable. No earlier than Monday Jan 5, ask her on a proper date: i.e. would you like to meet for a drink on Thursday? If you don't get a positive response to that, move along. as a girl donnivain what does it mean if you ask a girl out on a date and she avoids the question and continues the conversation? doesnt it mean they arent interested in us? just flirting for fun?
Poppygoodwill Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 I agree. Ask her for a specific day. If she's busy, she should suggest an alternative. If she doesn't, she's not really interested. And BTW, I agree with Lady Luck's advice...what she is trying to get across is just that when you speak with someone you learn so much about what is happening from their tone and how the conversation unfolds, whether they laugh, if it's awkward silences or easy to go back and forth. Text tells you very little. Easily misinterpreted. So if you're in the situation where you're wondering about the other person's intentions, then you will figure it out a lot faster and easier by talking to them on the phone. It's harder for someone to jerk you along when they talk to you. anyhow - ask her out again. Very specific. If she declines and doesn't suggest an alternative, then I'd save yourself the bother and move on. 2
Author Heisenberger Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 as a girl donnivain what does it mean if you ask a girl out on a date and she avoids the question and continues the conversation? doesnt it mean they arent interested in us? just flirting for fun? That's exactly the answer I'm looking for.
Diezel Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 That's exactly the answer I'm looking for. If you are having a conversation through text and ask her out in the midst of the conversation and she just keeps going, either: #1 She ignored it. #2 In the middle of texting you and anyone else, that message scrolled up and she didn't read it. That's why I am saying, just ASK. NO previous conversation, nothing like that. Just straight up ASK and then you have your answer. You are playing the WHAT IF game. Stop playing it. 1
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 as a girl donnivain what does it mean if you ask a girl out on a date and she avoids the question and continues the conversation? doesnt it mean they arent interested in us? just flirting for fun? In many cases it does mean she is not interested but also that she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. The only reason I suggested that OP take one more stab at asking this girl out is that he asked for NYE & the significance of the holiday is possibly what freaked her out. Removing that variable from the equation & asking the girl out again for a more conventional date will determine if it was the day or if she's not actually interested in him.
Author Heisenberger Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 In many cases it does mean she is not interested but also that she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. The only reason I suggested that OP take one more stab at asking this girl out is that he asked for NYE & the significance of the holiday is possibly what freaked her out. Removing that variable from the equation & asking the girl out again for a more conventional date will determine if it was the day or if she's not actually interested in him. Why give me her number then? That's what I'm puzzled about
Author Heisenberger Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 If you are having a conversation through text and ask her out in the midst of the conversation and she just keeps going, either: #1 She ignored it. #2 In the middle of texting you and anyone else, that message scrolled up and she didn't read it. That's why I am saying, just ASK. NO previous conversation, nothing like that. Just straight up ASK and then you have your answer. You are playing the WHAT IF game. Stop playing it. I'm not playing the what if game. My time is important and I don't want it wasted. I'll try again without convo and go from there
d0nnivain Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Why give me her number then? That's what I'm puzzled about She gave you her number because she was interested enough to want to talk to you more. Here, again I don't know if she isn't interested or you just freaked her out with the NYE invite. Otherwise, after exchanging numbers & talking, one person may conclude that there is no longer enough interest to continue.
Diezel Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Why give me her number then? That's what I'm puzzled about Times have changed. A phone number doesn't mean anything anymore. Hell a kiss doesn't mean anything anymore. 1
Author Heisenberger Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 She gave you her number because she was interested enough to want to talk to you more. Here, again I don't know if she isn't interested or you just freaked her out with the NYE invite. Otherwise, after exchanging numbers & talking, one person may conclude that there is no longer enough interest to continue. Well it looks like I've secured a date for Friday, suppose that answers my question. Thanks for the replies. 2
fred123 Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Well it looks like I've secured a date for Friday, suppose that answers my question. Thanks for the replies. if she doesnt flake find out why she iflgnored your first request. us guys could learn a lot from this and how girls act etc
michellew Posted January 3, 2015 Posted January 3, 2015 Well it looks like I've secured a date for Friday, suppose that answers my question. Thanks for the replies. Great! In the future, asking a girl out the day of can be a turnoff for some. It's best to give at least 2 days notice, especially for a NYE date.
Author Heisenberger Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 if she doesnt flake find out why she iflgnored your first request. us guys could learn a lot from this and how girls act etc Thanks for the vote of confidence haha I think I might leave that for another date. However of I do find out I'll inform you
Author Heisenberger Posted January 3, 2015 Author Posted January 3, 2015 Great! In the future, asking a girl out the day of can be a turnoff for some. It's best to give at least 2 days notice, especially for a NYE date. Yeah I get that about the nye. Some girls like spontaneity others don't. Suppose here isn't a rule book for this sort of thing, only really guidelines 1
Recommended Posts