Was I just Catfished? [Update: It wasn't catfishing]

January 4, 2015

You don't have the "type" of personality to handle an AW and a Drama Queen.

I'd say let it die. Just let it die on its own.

January 4, 2015

What's an AW?

Oh, got it...Attention Whore.

Edited January 4, 2015 by SycamoreCircle

January 4, 2015

Then call it something else, instead of NSA sex. What's important, don't become her BF before you really know her inside and out.

I have a hunch she might put you through something like you just made it out of. Maybe Diezel is right and for your sanity you should abstain completely. I understand it must be very hard given how hot she is.

But if you're going for the hotness you have to become machiavellistic and stand completely above the head games and craziness she's been showing so far.

Call her out on her mental stunts. It should be extremely informative to see her reaction at this point. Name calling -> she's nuts. Some excuse like the one with the age -> more head games, you can proceed for her hotness, but watch your step.

January 4, 2015

Let me get this straight... You think you were catfished?

Unless like me you enjoy the girls who are hard work and like to play games you are better off without her. But whatever you do don't be the first to contact her. If she actually likes you she will be back in touch.

January 4, 2015

I don't see phoning over texting here as a relevant point. It's now HOW things were communicated. I understand very clearly what she's doing. Yes, this is a fake break-up. I didn't do anything wrong. Nothing in my "sexting" crossed the line. I told her earlier in the day "I'm so physically attracted to you" along with some other pretty direct s**t. She continued to speak to me. She's sabotaging it---either because she wants to see if I'm a pushover "oh, I'm sorry sweetie, I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, yes we'll move slow" OR because she's scared that there is a real connection.

BTW, she did admit to me on date night that the whole age thing was her "being afraid."

Question now is do I want to deal with this crap?, there's bound to more of it. If so, would calling her bluff just be to maintain radio silence until she breaks it?

You went from "enjoying kisses" to sexting her and as you are both pretty sensitive, that was idiotic of you.

She then went into "this guy is playing me for sex" mode and shut down.

In her eyes NOT only are you into younger women, you are also sex obsessed...

Had you been on the phone as writergal suggested, you could have told by her voice, she wasn't willing to go down that route, and avoided the embarrassment.

As it was, you asked one question too far by text, and scared her off.

If you want her, you should be apologising profusely by phone I suggest, or you could just go down the "this girl's a nutter" route and not face up to what you did wrong.

January 4, 2015

and...

"I bet being with you feels like being in a vat of homemade churned butter mixed with silky stuffed animals."

ugh!

January 4, 2015

and...

ugh!

I agree with this bit, I'm not sure if you are saying she is cuddly and full of fat or something else. Leave similes and metaphors for books where they belong

January 4, 2015

You went from "enjoying kisses" to sexting her and as you are both pretty sensitive, that was idiotic of you.
She then went into "this guy is playing me for sex" mode and shut down.
In her eyes NOT only are you into younger women, you are also sex obsessed...

Had you been on the phone as writergal suggested, you could have told by her voice, she wasn't willing to go down that route, and avoided the embarrassment.
As it was, you asked one question too far by text, and scared her off.

If you want her, you should be apologising profusely by phone I suggest, or you could just go down the "this girl's a nutter" route and not face up to what you did wrong.

BZZT! WRONG!

Earlier in the day she sent me a pic of her bare legs and asked me if I liked them. I responded, "I would need to have my mouth between them to give you an honest answer." She replied, "Good answer."

I've reread her long "farewell" text and if you look at it carefully there's nothing that actually says goodbye. It's just her playing attention games.

And...how would a woman rationalize a man who turns down the woman's offer to come back to his place with "he just wants sex?" That's ridiculousness.

Sorry, Elaine but following your advice of apologies and supplication will land me with a nice bottle of hand lotion and a lonesome Friday night.

You must be a very well adjusted woman to not know of these silly, very common female mind games.

January 4, 2015

Later in the evening, I made a joke to something she said and she responded "you ruined the romantic mood."

I took this as a cue to get more sensual with her. She had already made a comment to me like "I really liked kissing you. A lot."

I turned up the heat a little bit and asked her to tell me what parts of her body were most sensitive. She responded. I told her how the previous night I enjoyed being behind and putting my hands around her waist. She responded. I told her I looked forward to being behind her again so that my hands could explore freely.

She said something to the effect of, "Slow down, horsey. I don't want this all to be about sex.".

Men! She was turning on the romance and you misinterpreted it as she wanted your conversation to be more sexual. *rolling eyes*

I wrote back "ouch."

Then I got busy with something and didn't respond for a while.

You picked the wrong time to go silent on her. She put you back in your place with your language and you stop talking to her so she interpreted it as you're not interested in continuing the conversation if it's not turning more sexual.

Kicker: She writes this long text about how there is just too much drama and too many issues between us and it was nice meeting me but she just doesn't think that I should be pushing her into sex, etc.

Of course. A man starting to sexe up a conversation like you did indicates that is all he's interested in. She is thinking to herself 'for F-sake not another one just looking for sex, I am so F fed-up with this sh1.t'.

January 4, 2015

Earlier in the day she sent me a pic of her bare legs and asked me if I liked them. I responded, "I would need to have my mouth between them to give you an honest answer." She replied, "Good answer."

You've never heard of sarcasm??

January 4, 2015

and...

ugh!

Well, fine---you don't go in for my brand of literate humor. That's your right. She writes short stories. Our date night I also asked her if having the breasts she has made her feel like a Jamaican gangster with an unbelievable piece that she could whip out when she wanted to intimidate local rudeboys. She was into it.

I swear I there are so many women on LS that enjoy "reacting" to my personality. Fine. I'm not for everybody. Thank Jah!

January 4, 2015

Men! She was turning on the romance and you misinterpreted it as she wanted your conversation to be more sexual. *rolling eyes*

..Of course. A man starting to sex up a conversation like you did indicates that is all he's interested in. She is thinking to herself 'for F-sake not another one just looking for sex, I am so F fed-up with this sh1.t'.

This ^^^^^

January 4, 2015

Sorry ladies but this time I'm totally in disagreement.

Whatever you do, don't apologise. From what I can see you did nothing wrong, you shouldn't have to apologise for someone else playing games and acting hot and cold.

January 4, 2015

You've never heard of sarcasm??

No, I've never heard of sarcasm.

January 4, 2015

Fine. Read earlier in the post. Another batch of LS women, who've now went the way of the sparrow, were commenting on how I was doing everything wrong. What happened? I get a date with the woman. More neg feedback from the female populace. What happened? She offers to spend the night at my place.

I swear you ladies think you know everything about human psychology. Get a clue.

January 4, 2015

This was your chance to date someone who you had a lot in common with and who was "hot" in your eyes too.

BUT

You blew it by acting like a dog in heat

and treating her like a piece of meat. (I'm a poet too...)

Well done.

January 4, 2015

This was your chance to date someone who you had a lot in common with and who was "hot" in your eyes too.
BUT
You blew it by acting like a dog in heat
and treating her like a piece of meat. (I'm a poet too...)
Well done.

Poetess, promise me you'll stick around for this ongoing drama as it will surely continue. You like words. You'll be eating some.

January 4, 2015

This was your chance to date someone who you had a lot in common with and who was "hot" in your eyes too.
BUT
You blew it by acting like a dog in heat
and treating her like a piece of meat. (I'm a poet too...)
Well done.

I don't think that's a fair assessment...

Technically though we are all pieces of meat, and bone.

January 4, 2015

She suggested>>>that she spend the night at my place and we just kiss.

And you interpreted this as she wants to have sex. She just wanted the closeness.

Then she sent you pictures of her legs, she was teasing you, innocent teasing. You turned it into something 3X suggesting oral sex. I would have dropped you so fast! but she decided to let it slide and gave you a short reply. Later when you tried again to sex up the convo she decided to put you back in your place.

She sent you several cues to keep this G-rated, light flirting, teasing and romance and you failed to understand. You let your d!.ck do the talking.

Edited January 4, 2015 by Gaeta

January 4, 2015

Sorry ladies... but STRONGLY disagree.

If she offered to spend the night, it's not "closeness". I know some of you do that, but it sends mixed signals all over the place.

Also, when she is sending pictures of her bare legs, she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She's pushing the envelope and demolishing boundaries. But as soon as he steps over them, then she wants to pull back.

These. Are. GAMES.

If your intention is NOT to have sex, you don't ask to go back to his place ON A FIRST DATE. And she did, which opens up a can of worms within a guy's mind. Why is this so hard to comprehend?

This WHOLE thing is push-and-pull at its worst. And for someone who is currently dating multiple people at the same time, these kind of games are negligible but scarcity mentality pits these games right into the spotlight. There is no winning here. This woman has set up the inevitable FAIL NO MATTER WHAT tests. She does it on purpose. She has set the bar so high and is playing so many games, that no matter what he does and how he plays it, he's going to fail.

When she says that he killed the romantic mood, what she really wants is for him to revert back to whatever she wants him to be. By doing so, he fails. By not doing so, he fails. Either way, she controls the game board no matter how he plays his chess pieces.

The best way to win this is to simply knock the board over and walk away.

January 4, 2015

The best way to win this is to simply knock the board over and walk away.

Playing chess with a pigeon - a great strategy.

January 4, 2015

Sorry ladies... but STRONGLY disagree.

If she offered to spend the night, it's not "closeness". I know some of you do that, but it sends mixed signals all over the place.

Also, when she is sending pictures of her bare legs, she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She's pushing the envelope and demolishing boundaries. But as soon as he steps over them, then she wants to pull back.

These. Are. GAMES.

If your intention is NOT to have sex, you don't ask to go back to his place ON A FIRST DATE. And she did, which opens up a can of worms within a guy's mind. Why is this so hard to comprehend?

This WHOLE thing is push-and-pull at its worst. And for someone who is currently dating multiple people at the same time, these kind of games are negligible but scarcity mentality pits these games right into the spotlight. There is no winning here. This woman has set up the inevitable FAIL NO MATTER WHAT tests. She does it on purpose. She has set the bar so high and is playing so many games, that no matter what he does and how he plays it, he's going to fail.

When she says that he killed the romantic mood, what she really wants is for him to revert back to whatever she wants him to be. By doing so, he fails. By not doing so, he fails. Either way, she controls the game board no matter how he plays his chess pieces.

The best way to win this is to simply knock the board over and walk away.

A-men. Look, it's as simple as this: in acting improv, there's a very simple principle which cannot be ignored. Two people start throwing a ball back and forth. Now, you can throw it, you can bounce it, you can push it with your tongue, you can propel it with your breath BUT YOU DON'T DROP THE BALL. That is, you keep it in motion. Once the ball is dropped and someone refuses to give the ball to the other person, the game is over.

What is happening with this girl?

We start throwing a ball back and forth. Having fun. She bounces it. I bowl it. She torpedoes it. I ally-oop it. Then!!! BRNK!!! SMZZZK!!! DOING DOING!!! She holds the ball and says, "You're not throwing it right. You've got to throw it like me. Don't want to throw it like me? OK, we won't play this game anymore."

January 4, 2015

Sorry ladies... but STRONGLY disagree.

If she offered to spend the night, it's not "closeness". I know some of you do that, but it sends mixed signals all over the place.

Also, when she is sending pictures of her bare legs, she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She's pushing the envelope and demolishing boundaries. But as soon as he steps over them, then she wants to pull back.

These. Are. GAMES.

If your intention is NOT to have sex, you don't ask to go back to his place ON A FIRST DATE.

I TOTALLY agree with you BUT she did not read that memo.

She said she wanted to spend the night and ONLY kiss. She is an idiot for thinking a man will interpret it as just that but it was just that.

January 4, 2015

I TOTALLY agree with you BUT she did not read that memo.

She said she wanted to spend the night and ONLY kiss. She is an idiot for thinking a man will interpret it as just that but it was just that.

If I had a pound for all the girls that said they just wanted to kiss but went all the way and judging by their smoothness knew damn well they were going to go all the way I would have enough money for... Well maybe a few pints and a burger haha.

January 4, 2015

Are you really that much of a jerk?

You were playing ball, passing the ball nicely back and forth. Then you decide to up the game, you introduce a bit of spin into the throw and knocked her off balance, she was not happy but she let it go. But YOU totally ignored her unhappiness and pitched the ball straight to her body causing her injury. At which point she said "I'm not playing any longer, you play too rough."

So instead of apologising, you are somehow in the right...

Incredible!

I guess, YOU were surprised at how hot she was and let your dick all do the talking. You were so desperate to get into her knickers, that you forgot the niceties of dating a proper woman instead of some sex obsessed hottie.

Sorry but you acted like a jerk.

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Was I just Catfished? [Update: It wasn't catfishing]

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