Decided to end a 5 year friendship today because of something Hurtful she said to me

[smg15]

I never said I hadn't. And it's less about the repetition and more about it being an odd thing to say to a stranger in the first place. It would be like stopping someone on the street to tell them they look like some famous person. It's kind of...pointless? There are better ways to get the attention of/start a conversation with an attractive woman.

 

It wasn't said to the GIRL, it was said to her friend

[CC12]

It wasn't said to the GIRL, it was said to her friend

 

I know. Your friend's friend, who you don't know personally. Right?

[smg15]

I know. Your friend's friend, who you don't know personally. Right?

 

 

But she didn't see it, wasn't like I tagged her

[CC12]

But she didn't see it, wasn't like I tagged her

 

That's good.

[girl-in-boots]

But she didn't see it, wasn't like I tagged her

 

Not that it makes any difference as to your friends comment, but if the woman who you posted about is on Facebook then there is every chance that she could have seen it.

If your friend had tagged her and the woman in question had notifications on then she would have received and email that '....' friend of '.....' posted a comment.

Or maybe she could have been on FB at that moment in time.

[smg15]

Not that it makes any difference as to your friends comment, but if the woman who you posted about is on Facebook then there is every chance that she could have seen it.

If your friend had tagged her and the woman in question had notifications on then she would have received and email that '....' friend of '.....' posted a comment.

Or maybe she could have been on FB at that moment in time.

 

Ok so if she seen it then what? She would have seen a guy comparing her to a pretty woman on TV

 

Not me saying....."I really would love to bang your friend" LOL

[hoping2heal]

Your strong reaction is very odd.

 

I think there is more to the whole thing. If my friend had said that, I would have assumed she was just joking.

You happen to be very offended and took the whole thing seriously.

 

So, either this girl is not your friend and she's your frenemy and that's the relationship the two of you really have, or

this girl is an acquaintance and not a friend,

or, there's some behavior in your past that causes you to feel convicted on the spot in relation to stalking.

 

Which of these is it?

[smg15]

Your strong reaction is very odd.

 

I think there is more to the whole thing. If my friend had said that, I would have assumed she was just joking.

You happen to be very offended and took the whole thing seriously.

 

So, either this girl is not your friend and she's your frenemy and that's the relationship the two of you really have, or

this girl is an acquaintance and not a friend,

or, there's some behavior in your past that causes you to feel convicted on the spot in relation to stalking.

 

Which of these is it?

 

 

If she was joking she would have put LOL

[hoping2heal]

If she was joking she would have put LOL

 

I don't put LOL after everything I communicate to my friends. They know whether I am joking or serious because we are friends. They know my sense of humor, nuances, etc. I wouldn't randomly go calling my friend a stalker and mean it. Now, some people might do that - but I wouldn't and my friends know that because they know me.

 

The other thing is, I wouldn't consider someone a stalker because they reference a person twice (which is what you've done), so once again I'm confused why you think she was being serious and what I really wonder is, was she right?

 

Is this "friend" even a friend at all or just someone who has been on your FB for 5 years?

[rester]

Your strong reaction is very odd.

 

I think there is more to the whole thing. If my friend had said that, I would have assumed she was just joking.

You happen to be very offended and took the whole thing seriously.

 

So, either this girl is not your friend and she's your frenemy and that's the relationship the two of you really have, or

this girl is an acquaintance and not a friend,

or, there's some behavior in your past that causes you to feel convicted on the spot in relation to stalking.

 

Which of these is it?

 

I agree with this. I think it's borderline creepy to make random comments about friends of friends, and you did it not once but twice. She called you out on that, albeit using a bit of a strong word like "stalker", but you took it way too seriously.

[seekingpeaceinlove]

Ah the lovely age of social media. Clearly the "friendship" didn't mean much to you if you decided to cut her off because of a silly comment. You could have talked to her directly and explained that you were offended by her post. She may or may not have apologized but the fact is that you didn't even give her the opportunity.

 

Like I said, it seems like you didn't really care for the friendship very much..so..no loss right?

[smg15]

Ah the lovely age of social media. Clearly the "friendship" didn't mean much to you if you decided to cut her off because of a silly comment. You could have talked to her directly and explained that you were offended by her post. She may or may not have apologized but the fact is that you didn't even give her the opportunity.

 

Like I said, it seems like you didn't really care for the friendship very much..so..no loss right?

 

Friends don't call other friends stalker with a lol after the comment

[SycamoreCircle]

Friends don't let friends use Facebook.

[hoping2heal]

Friends don't call other friends stalker with a lol after the comment

 

 

Wait, what?

 

So she DID use "lol" after the comment? Didn't you just tell me you thought if she were joking she would have put "lol".

 

There's clearly more to this whole thing.

[smg15]

Wait, what?

 

So she DID use "lol" after the comment? Didn't you just tell me you thought if she were joking she would have put "lol".

 

There's clearly more to this whole thing.

 

I meant to say WITHOUT

[smg15]

And if I was a real stalker I would have sent her friend a Private message since it's so easy for me to do

[hoping2heal]

And if I was a real stalker I would have sent her friend a Private message since it's so easy for me to do

 

OK, so why get so radically defensive? Do you have tendancies to become obsessive and that is why the friend made the comment or what? It's just strange that you think your friend of 5 years thinks you are a stalker for making 2 comments about a person..that in itself doesn't even seem to be a rational thought and yet you seem pretty convinced. As I've said all along, there's more to this whole thing.

[smg15]

OK, so why get so radically defensive? Do you have tendancies to become obsessive and that is why the friend made the comment or what? It's just strange that you think your friend of 5 years thinks you are a stalker for making 2 comments about a person..that in itself doesn't even seem to be a rational thought and yet you seem pretty convinced. As I've said all along, there's more to this whole thing.

 

Well I was once interested in her friend but not since she just recently had a newborn baby. I was just pointing out how she resembles a tv news anchor and forgot I said it before.

[hoping2heal]

Well I was once interested in her friend but not since she just recently had a newborn baby. I was just pointing out how she resembles a tv news anchor and forgot I said it before.

 

I get it. I'm not saying I think that makes you a stalker. I'm saying I can't imagine anyone else thinking it would make you a stalker either, but you seem rather convinced your friend was being serious. That's why the whole thing is just odd. Did your friend know you liked the girl?

[smg15]

I get it. I'm not saying I think that makes you a stalker. I'm saying I can't imagine anyone else thinking it would make you a stalker either, but you seem rather convinced your friend was being serious. That's why the whole thing is just odd. Did your friend know you liked the girl?

 

I guess she figured it out since I mentioned her more than once

[serial muse]

I guess she figured it out since I mentioned her more than once

 

I'm wondering if the anchorwoman-twin comments are the only time you've commented on this friend-of-a-friend to her? I'm guessing not...

 

My guess is that you commented several times on this woman, at least before she had a baby, and your friend is calling you out on that overall commentary, not just the anchorwoman comments.

 

I also suspect that you can't really have been such good friends if you'd cut her off after one comment instead of PMing her and saying "seriously, don't say stuff like that in public, even as a joke; some people won't know you're joking and you'll give me a reputation that's unfair". That's what an actual friend would have said to another friend, I think.

[anika99]

OP when I first responded to this thread I didn't realize that you are a guy. I thought you were a woman. The reason I thought that is because you're kind of reacting to the fb comment like a woman might. I hate to say it but the fact that you're a guy does kind of make a difference. For one thing I wouldn't expect a guy to be so offended to something on fb. The way I joke with my guy friends is way different than the way I joke with females. With guys the kidding around is much more off the cuff, just say whatever comes to mind and don't worry much about being offensive. When joking with women I'm always careful to make sure what I say can't be taken the wrong way or sound downright insulting. I love my women friends but women are extremely verbal and words hold a lot of weight so I'm careful but with guys I just let if fly and the guys give it right back to me and it's all good. Weird that you are a man and that you took this fb so seriously.

 

 

Secondly the fact that you are a man and you did have the hots for this friend of a friend at one time also puts a different spin on things. You may have only made the comparison to a celebrity a couple of times but I suspect you said a lot of other things about her to your friend in the past and that's why she made the joke about you sounding like a stalker.

[smg15]

OP when I first responded to this thread I didn't realize that you are a guy. I thought you were a woman. The reason I thought that is because you're kind of reacting to the fb comment like a woman might. I hate to say it but the fact that you're a guy does kind of make a difference. For one thing I wouldn't expect a guy to be so offended to something on fb. The way I joke with my guy friends is way different than the way I joke with females. With guys the kidding around is much more off the cuff, just say whatever comes to mind and don't worry much about being offensive. When joking with women I'm always careful to make sure what I say can't be taken the wrong way or sound downright insulting. I love my women friends but women are extremely verbal and words hold a lot of weight so I'm careful but with guys I just let if fly and the guys give it right back to me and it's all good. Weird that you are a man and that you took this fb so seriously.

 

 

Secondly the fact that you are a man and you did have the hots for this friend of a friend at one time also puts a different spin on things. You may have only made the comparison to a celebrity a couple of times but I suspect you said a lot of other things about her to your friend in the past and that's why she made the joke about you sounding like a stalker.

 

It's another woman refers to me as a stalker on FB who is someone I chat with In a sports group. We are not friends and she always puts a lol after her statement. I even play along with her and call myself a "sophisticated stalker" but my so-called friend said it in a mean way with no laughter and it really bothered me

[GorillaTheater]

"For want of a lol ..."

[serial muse]

It's another woman refers to me as a stalker on FB who is someone I chat with In a sports group. We are not friends and she always puts a lol after her statement. I even play along with her and call myself a "sophisticated stalker" but my so-called friend said it in a mean way with no laughter and it really bothered me

 

If two different people are calling you a stalker in two different settings, even jokingly, you might want to take a closer look at your online interactions, smg. Do you have a tendency to intensely focus on a particular woman/women in these settings? People do notice this stuff and become wary.