lil_missy Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 So yesterday was NYE and I went out with a friend of mine who I kind of have a crush on, but I don’t know how he feels about me. We are only casual friends in my opinion and I have only hung out with him a half dozen times. Always in a group situations. I have written a rather tedious to read thread about him here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/506798-another-does-he-like-me-thread So yday I asked him what he was doing for the night and he invited me to a NYE rave party that he was going to. The tickets were sold out ages ago but he went through some trouble to get one for me last min and it was quite expensive but he wouldn’t let me pay him back. Then he took care of me and stuck by my side for the entire night. He is really polite and gentlemanly and funny, I had the best time. At the club, he was also holding my hand a lot and we acted couplely. But we did not kiss. All his friends were asking if i was his girlfriend, but he told them that we were “very close friends”, even though I don’t think we are. He knew everyone at the club coz it was his scene, but he never once left my side except to go to the toilet. And was so attentive to me to make sure I was having a good time. Plus he introed me to everyone he knew, both male and female. By the end of the night we were totally acting like a couple and left the club in each others arms. But my concern is, firstly he rarely contacts me if I don’t contact him. Which makes me feel he only thinks of me as a friend. I used to think he didn’t like me because of that. But when I do contact him, like yday, he jumped on the opportunity to see me and seemed to make his night all about me. Secondly, today he msged me in the morning checking up on me but hasn’t tried to make more conversation with me. After been so close to him last night, I felt disappointed that he wasn’t trying to talk to me more or asking to see me again. And I’m worried that I wont hear from him again until I contact him. Btw he is not sleazy at all so I don’t feel he is only after me for sex.
Assada Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 I wish this dude would contact some other girl then. You obviously arnt receptive to him, and he should just move on.
Author lil_missy Posted January 1, 2015 Author Posted January 1, 2015 I wish this dude would contact some other girl then. You obviously arnt receptive to him, and he should just move on. what do you mean? he almost never contacts me. and i am receptive to him. very. i even tried to initiate conversation with him today but his reply was short i dont want to chase guys in the beginning as i believe it will never work that way. i feel like his just not feeling me after the few times we've hung out, but when we are together he seems so caring of me its confusing.
Assada Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 The question is Do you contact him? Did you thank him for "taking care" of you that night? Or do you think he should call you up and say, "Youre welcome for me taking care of you last night, your majesty". This guy seems like a high quality guy, and high quality guys dont fawn excessively over girls that seem like that dont have much to contribute. So there you go
Author lil_missy Posted January 1, 2015 Author Posted January 1, 2015 The question is Do you contact him? Did you thank him for "taking care" of you that night? Or do you think he should call you up and say, "Youre welcome for me taking care of you last night, your majesty". This guy seems like a high quality guy, and high quality guys dont fawn excessively over girls that seem like that dont have much to contribute. So there you go well i have contacted him a couple of times only. but im just a firm believer that if a guy likes you he will contact u, no? everytime i see him he always says lets do it again soon but then doesn't follow through by asking me out! i guess i haven't really thanked him for anything... I think he is such a high quality guy too and i dont want to take him for granted, but i just cant tell if he likes me or not
blueberrymuffin Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 Sounds like he doesn't know if you like him..
fred123 Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 if i invite a friend to a party or if a friend is visiting my city and i take them out i of course wont leave them. il introduce them to my friendd and stay by her side and get her involved. isnt that normal or have i got my social interactions wrong?
d0nnivain Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 Based on this thread, I think he likes you He took you to an expensive rave, his treat, for NYE & was incredibly attentive. You acted couply. Then he messaged you this morning. Where is that not contacting you? What more do you want? Yes, I think he likes you but for heaven's sake it hasn't even been 24 hours since you left each other. You don't go from one sort of date to married in such a short time. I am a bit concerned that you didn't kiss. What did you do at midnight? 1
Country_Girl Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 The holding hands thing makes me think he likes you. However, I've also had a guy friend that would cuddle with me and we'd sleep in bed together holding hands (no moves made)- but down the line, we're talking a year later, I found out he had no romantic interest, he was just sexually attracted to me (wanted fwb). Just be careful here and try not to read into anything. I say just take things slow, gradually increase contact and see where it takes you. If after a month goes by and you find yourself still asking the same question, then just move on. Some guys have what I call a "filler" girlfriend, someone you "kind of date" between the "real" dates. Not limited to men either, I know girls that have done this as well. Hope it works, good luck OP.
Author lil_missy Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 I am a bit concerned that you didn't kiss. What did you do at midnight? at midnight, there was so many ppl around packed like sardines. and we had a few friends around. so everyone just hugged eachother and wished each other happy new yr. it was more festive than romantic if you know what i mean. so i still havent heard from him and im not surprised actually.(although he did like a picture we're tagged in on facebook) the last time we hung out he msged me after saying he wants to see me again soon. then i never heard from him for 2 weeks. i actually had 2 of his friends msg me yday, one of them is trying to hit on me i think which is all the more disappointing.
Author lil_missy Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 The holding hands thing makes me think he likes you. However, I've also had a guy friend that would cuddle with me and we'd sleep in bed together holding hands (no moves made)- but down the line, we're talking a year later, I found out he had no romantic interest, he was just sexually attracted to me (wanted fwb). Just be careful here and try not to read into anything. I say just take things slow, gradually increase contact and see where it takes you. If after a month goes by and you find yourself still asking the same question, then just move on. Some guys have what I call a "filler" girlfriend, someone you "kind of date" between the "real" dates. Not limited to men either, I know girls that have done this as well. Hope it works, good luck OP. thanks country girl, i can fully relate that sometimes 2 people can act all couply on an occasion then have it not go anywhere. it is so disappointing! it has already dragged on for a month since we reconnected. im not taking it as a good sign that his leaving me so confused. i know that a good friend of his is interested in me and showing it by always msging me and asking me out. so i dont know if that has anything to do with it. but i think i have made it clear that i like him, not his friend.
todreaminblue Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 what do you mean? he almost never contacts me. and i am receptive to him. very. i even tried to initiate conversation with him today but his reply was short i dont want to chase guys in the beginning as i believe it will never work that way. i feel like his just not feeling me after the few times we've hung out, but when we are together he seems so caring of me its confusing. I would go by how he is with you in person rather than the way he communicates when he is not with you..me ex sucked at communicating he loved to read my letters and my poems but he could not write well himself....we would normally end up fighting.....over text so then he would call me......because texts written by him i often took in a direct opposite of the context he meant.....he needed to speak to me for me to understand where he was coming from......then it was a piece of cake.....most of the time...if he had anything to say that was important he would text nah call me.....or ill call you...he was fond of those two word texts...call me in person he was an attentive and passionate lover and also my best friend.......someone who would listen and give me an honest and whole new perspective on my thoughts and feelings...and on his....communication was awesome when we were together......we lasted fifteen years.....good times and bad because of this...... you need to be honest with this guy on your feelings and step back from expecting more communication when you arent together and concentrate on when you are together communicating honestly and with a forthright approach to everything
Author lil_missy Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 I would go by how he is with you in person rather than the way he communicates when he is not with you..me ex sucked at communicating he loved to read my letters and my poems but he could not write well himself....we would normally end up fighting.....over text so then he would call me......because texts written by him i often took in a direct opposite of the context he meant.....he needed to speak to me for me to understand where he was coming from......then it was a piece of cake.....most of the time...if he had anything to say that was important he would text nah call me.....or ill call you...he was fond of those two word texts...call me in person he was an attentive and passionate lover and also my best friend.......someone who would listen and give me an honest and whole new perspective on my thoughts and feelings...and on his....communication was awesome when we were together......we lasted fifteen years.....good times and bad because of this...... you need to be honest with this guy on your feelings and step back from expecting more communication when you arent together and concentrate on when you are together communicating honestly and with a forthright approach to everything thank you , this is so sweet...15 years =) he is so great when his with me, but i dont know if he just treats all girls this way? i thought maybe he is waiting for me to ask him out? i would, but again its been drilled into my head ( esp from reading this forum) that a guy will ask you out if he likes you. and if you do ask him out and he says yes then you will never know if his just going along with u or if he really likes you. =S so not sure what to do now...why is it so hard
shet Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 its been drilled into my head ( esp from reading this forum) that a guy will ask you out if he likes you. and if you do ask him out and he says yes then you will never know if his just going along with u or if he really likes you He asked you out on NYE. All of 1 day ago. And spent the whole time doting on you. What else is this man supposed to have done.
Author lil_missy Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 He asked you out on NYE. All of 1 day ago. And spent the whole time doting on you. What else is this man supposed to have done. im just asking for some more FOLLOW THROUGH. is that too much to ask? so i msged him tonight what are you up to? and he called me back and we had a short chat and he said his going to a mates bday party and asked if I want to come. but i said nah its alright coz it was getting late and so last min. i mean i appreciate that he invited me, but it feels like an after thought. i feel like he is not making an effort to see me =( although he has always been like this, so theres no change in his behaviour. Is he just not into me? then 10 mins after we spoke, his friend called me to invite me out to the same party that his going to. its abit messy i think his friend really likes me.
Author lil_missy Posted January 18, 2015 Author Posted January 18, 2015 Hi all, Just to give an update so a few days later he finally told me that he likes me! He told me that he liked me the first time we met years ago and wondered bout me over the yrs, but was too shy to make a move. Plus he didn't want to seem like he was full on hitting on me. So I guess lesson is even if a guy doesn't contact you for a few days it doesn't mean his not interested. And it's ok to initiate! I certainly did by asking him what his up to and liking his fb photos. If I didn't he prob would have been hesitant to tell me his real feelings!
Author lil_missy Posted January 18, 2015 Author Posted January 18, 2015 Not yet - but it's bcuz of me not him. he calls me everyday now and wants to see me all the time, takes me out is super considerate and all his friends ask about me. A few times he tried to have "the talk" with me, asking me what we are etc. I like him and think he is perfect for me.but only broke up with someone 1 month ago who I really cared bout. I was heartbroken and now I don't know if I'm ready for the new guy.
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