loosinghope Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Ok.. I desperatly need your help! The day after Christmas I started seeing this guy whose in the Army. Things went off great. At first I was relunctant to like him due to being hurt so many times, but he really showed me that he was a great guy. He sent me flowers, would email me EVERY DAY to wish me a good day, called or talked to me online every night. February he was sent to Delaware for training. I actualy saw him more there then in January, but about 2 weeks into the month he started acting strange.. distant like. I mentioned something about it and he said he's really stressed at class. The entire time he never denied being happy with me. I chalked it up to his stress. Then he came home in the begining of March and the first day back he was great.. it was like old times. Then he went back to work and that all ended up piling on top of him. Things just kep getting worse and worse. He kept getting more and more distant. I just hung in there and let him have his space. Then he went home for a long weekend and he didn't call me the entire time.. which is unusual for him. When he came home Monday he called me and said he was having his doubts about us and felt we shoudl break up. I asked that we discuss this in person and we did. He said that he knew he was treating me differently and not as well as he would like and when he thought about it he relised that he just didn't like me in "that way" anymore. It al of a sudden happened though. He said he just now relised it. He said he still REALLY cares about me and wants to still see me and hang out, and talk, but he just doesn't like me in a romantic way. He's talked ot me every day since that night.. he still wants me to come and see him and spend time with me. He tells me that he misses me and thinks about me often. And he keeps telling me how I was the best girlfriend he's ever had and how he wants his feelings for me to come back so badly. Then last night when I was talking to him about this.. he asked me if I woudl wait for him! Wait for him to get his feelings back. But he would understand if I chose to move on. But he really wants things to work out and really wants to feel that way for me again. He has NO CLUE what happened or why his feelings changed. He heard he is being sent to Iraq yesterday too and he said that he'll propably think about me nad talk to me more then now because when they are over there thats all they think about is home. (he just got back form Afghanistan last April)... I need help! How could his feelings have just changed like that when nothing was wrong. We never faught, we saw each other a decent amount of time.. and I never did anythign to upset him. We were together just under 3 months when he broke up with me. What could be going on? Why does he want me to be around and care about me that much.. yet not have those feelings for me. In January he was so crazy about me.. then he just stopped. It all of a sudden stopped. PLEASE HELP! He and I are both depserate for some kind of idea, answer, or solution to this problem. He keeps telling me that he wants us to be back together and things to be the same again.. but he just doesn't feel that way about me.. he doesn't have that romantic feeling.. HELP!?
sara6675 Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 It seems to me that he really does like you and wants to have a relationship with you, he just dosn't want the commitment. It works out perfect for him. He gets the girl but isn't tied down, hes free to do whatever he wants. If you wait for him like he wants you too then he will eventually move on to another girl and leave you alone. Don't let him drag you along like that. Just don't stay in a close relationship with him (just friends or otherwise) if he doesn't know what he wants. Move on, date someone else and show him what hes missing.
lovesucks Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 It sounds to me that he has realized you are not the kind of woman he wants but because you have been treating him so nice he feels guilty to just break up with you without a good reason. Don't listen to his bsh*t wanting you to wait for him or trying to find his romantic feeling back. If your relationship is as short as only 3 months, and he has already lost that romantic feeling IMO it's not likely going to happen again for him. He probably doesn't want to hurt you badly but also find an excuse for him to get out of this. He will for sure make it official with you once he has found someone better. Don't wait around. Start dating again. Show him what he has missed.
Author loosinghope Posted March 25, 2005 Author Posted March 25, 2005 I'm planning on dating other people and making him relise what he's missing.. but then why did his feelings change so quickly. I had every attribute he had ever looked for in a girl.. and he lost them. How can you WANT your feelings back.. and want them that bad.. yet you claim not to have them at all? It makes no sense to me!
lovesucks Posted March 26, 2005 Posted March 26, 2005 He is just not into you. That's all. His theory of "wanting and having the feelings to come back" just doesn't make sense at all. I can see perhaps under a scenario of a couple who has been together for years, separated and wanted to get back together, ok, this may apply to the theory. But in your case, it is such a young relationship, the feelings at this stage should be straight forward to set the path of where your relationship will lead in the future. If he already doesn't have the romantic feeling for you only after 3 months, lady, my best advice for you is to move on. Perhaps someday he will realise how much you are worth to him when you are gone. In any case, your best bet is, still, start dating other guys, don't be the second choice!
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