enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 I've been talking to this guy for over a month. We met after 2-weeks of talking, and have been one 4 dates. We has this discussion the other night about our online profiles. I brought it up a few days before because if a guy is just Seeing "what's out there" I really don't want to invest my time in someone That's on a different page. We were out and he brought it up to me again. I basically told him I had asked because I wasn't sure if he was looking around or not. To make a long story short he thought I was doing the same thing he thought I was and both of us were logging on to see if the other had logged on (he had not logged on in almost a week). Anyways, so I told him well no I'm not and I don't have an issue deleting and he seemed surprised and agreed he wouldn't either. So later that evening he contacts me & says he just got rid of his account. I logged on and sure enough he did. Then I did the same. My issue is that I tend to get kind of needy with The communication. We texted yesterday and he called but I was commuting. He worked 13 hours yesterday so when I called he didn't pick up. We haven't talked or texted today but I know today is a crazy day at work. He told me yesterday & today would be crazy. We usually talk every day 1-3 times by text and maybe every other day by phone. Is this normal? I am feeling concerned I didn't hear from him. I have a very hard time relaxing, and so I worry and think I'm Being ignored or blown off. He told me the other night not to be upset that he Doesn't like talking on the phone much he's just not much of a phone person. He does call me but just doesn't hang on there for a long period of time.
Gaeta Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 His communication seems alright. You are just not busy enough and have too much time on your hands to think about when he will text next. When you get that cligny feeling just get busy with something. Be glad he is calling. A man wouldn't call if he weren't into you because calling demands an extra effort and it's more personal than texting. The fact he does not stay on the phone long is a detail. He is not a phone person but still makes a point of calling you so give the guy a break. 3
Author enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 Like it matters. most females yap about wanted to be called and not texted but never answer the phone. Most but not ALL. Guess I'm the exception. I don't play games. I have a friend who is like that but not me.
Author enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 His communication seems alright. You are just not busy enough and have too much time on your hands to think about when he will text next. When you get that cligny feeling just get busy with something. Be glad he is calling. A man wouldn't call if he weren't into you because calling demands an extra effort and it's more personal than texting. The fact he does not stay on the phone long is a detail. He is not a phone person but still makes a point of calling you so give the guy a break.you are right...I need more to do. I'm busy at work but I have a hard time focusing When I'm worried. I have this very high level of anxiety.
BluEyeL Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 You need to calm down. His communication is fine. Things are going well. Live your life and don't worry because that will transpire and you'll sabotage your budding relationship.
Author enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 You need to calm down. His communication is fine. Things are going well. Live your life and don't worry because that will transpire and you'll sabotage your budding relationship. yes I do need to calm down. We have a lot in common, and great chemistry & attraction but people do have lives...I just worry too much. Don't want to screw it up. 2
Satu Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 you are right...I need more to do. I'm busy at work but I have a hard time focusing When I'm worried. I have this very high level of anxiety. Your anxiety has nothing to do with him. Your anxiety is a feeling that is being generated by your mind and body. He is not making you feel like that - you are, but it's being generated at a level deeper than your everyday waking state, in your subconscious. The problem lies in the fact that you have attached that anxiety to the topic of how often he communicates with you. If you can accept that, you can handle it. You need to use some self-soothing techniques, own and take responsibility for your anxiety, and find some relief which comes from you. It's your anxiety, so you have to fix it. If you want some specific tips on dealing with your anxiety you can PM me. 2
GemmaUK Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Sounds perfect to me! I wish I could find a man in his forties who was the same and didn't require constant reassurance in the form of texts and mails all day and 1-3 hour calls every day. He told you he was going to be busy - it's been manic for me too since er..August! If he is telling you he is gonna be busy it's cos he means it and also because he really wants you to just know that he can't always get back to you but also that when he has down time he will most likely be exhausted and just might want to veg out and watch tv. It doesn't mean he thinks any less of you. I only know as I am usually the 'busy' one in a relationship.
preraph Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 What's normal depends on what compromise two people make that they can agree on because it's rare two people are on the same page about how often they can or want to chit-chat. You need to use self-discipline and stop obsessing about it because it isn't attractive to anyone when someone acts that desperate, so it's not in your best interests. Plus what good is it if you nag someone into staying in touch more?? All it means is they're tired of being nagged about it. So try to be adult about this and manage your own insecurities. Talk and try to truly understand any time constraints he is under, and try to remember that most people do not have their gf on their mind that much during the work day. People have to concentrate on the task at hand and can't be expected to only think about someone else. 1
Author enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 Sounds perfect to me! I wish I could find a man in his forties who was the same and didn't require constant reassurance in the form of texts and mails all day and 1-3 hour calls every day. He told you he was going to be busy - it's been manic for me too since er..August! If he is telling you he is gonna be busy it's cos he means it and also because he really wants you to just know that he can't always get back to you but also that when he has down time he will most likely be exhausted and just might want to veg out and watch tv. It doesn't mean he thinks any less of you. I only know as I am usually the 'busy' one in a relationship. Thanks! Well it's not 1-3 hours a day I meant contacts me 1-3 times in form of text and a brief phone convo. I need to find a way to keep busy. I get too consumed with thoughts & worry.
Author enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 What's normal depends on what compromise two people make that they can agree on because it's rare two people are on the same page about how often they can or want to chit-chat. You need to use self-discipline and stop obsessing about it because it isn't attractive to anyone when someone acts that desperate, so it's not in your best interests. Plus what good is it if you nag someone into staying in touch more?? All it means is they're tired of being nagged about it. So try to be adult about this and manage your own insecurities. Talk and try to truly understand any time constraints he is under, and try to remember that most people do not have their gf on their mind that much during the work day. People have to concentrate on the task at hand and can't be expected to only think about someone else. Luckily, I haven't nagged him but I understand what your saying.
coolheadal Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Excellent girl friend to have here, your the best! I wish there where more like you around. So dedicated to your BF! That's how it suppose to be. I know others here say different, but love for someone means more communications instead of the other ways where there isn't that much which tends to shed issues in a relationship. Now your BF he's not much to talker on the phone and does more text than real talking. I am sure he talks to his clients on the phone all day but why not call you up out of the blue and give smile to brighten up your day! You and him need to talk more as much as you can in an around work. He can call you on his breaks. There is no excuse for this. You needs are little and not so needy. So what if you clingy (you love to be with him and hear from him) more women out there need to be like this, but they're not! It was good of your to get him to remove is online profile and you did the same too. Although you two only been dating for 2 months. Don't panic so much if you not getting 100% attention from him. Remember he's not like you, I know you would like him to be. I still find you to be the best GF around. He needs to realize that! You can even show him what I type or use in words from your mouth to him. But looks like he's set in his ways so all he will do is call 1% sometimes and text 99%. Next time your on a date with him, make sure he's focus with his eyes on you! I know your are already doing that, because your a special kind of girl! Keep us posted here how everything is going in your relationship with him. You now have some more friends here including me.
Author enchanted771 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 Excellent girl friend to have here, your the best! I wish there where more like you around. So dedicated to your BF! That's how it suppose to be. I know others here say different, but love for someone means more communications instead of the other ways where there isn't that much which tends to shed issues in a relationship. Now your BF he's not much to talker on the phone and does more text than real talking. I am sure he talks to his clients on the phone all day but why not call you up out of the blue and give smile to brighten up your day! You and him need to talk more as much as you can in an around work. He can call you on his breaks. There is no excuse for this. You needs are little and not so needy. So what if you clingy (you love to be with him and hear from him) more women out there need to be like this, but they're not! It was good of your to get him to remove is online profile and you did the same too. Although you two only been dating for 2 months. Don't panic so much if you not getting 100% attention from him. Remember he's not like you, I know you would like him to be. I still find you to be the best GF around. He needs to realize that! You can even show him what I type or use in words from your mouth to him. But looks like he's set in his ways so all he will do is call 1% sometimes and text 99%. Next time your on a date with him, make sure he's focus with his eyes on you! I know your are already doing that, because your a special kind of girl! Keep us posted here how everything is going in your relationship with him. You now have some more friends here including me. Thanks! He calls 25% of the time and 75% text
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