creyente7 Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Okay so last time I spoke to my ex was November 27th. Thanksgiving day. As usual, it wasnt a pretty conversation. So much pain and suffering, I dropped out of college, got kicked off my athletic team, lost my full ride in college, forced to return home and deal with the consequences. My life turned to sh*t. Never thought a girl could have such an impact in my life. The funny thing just happened though. I have not contacted her since Thanksgiving. I'm getting better each day and theres less pain, but I do still think about her everyday. Anyways I did what most people would do, I got curious so I logged in on facebook from another account since she had blocked me off all social media. Went through her most recently added friends, I thought to myself "Hmm this isnt bad, I thought id feel way worse doing this" but then I clicked on some random dude and on the about me section where it lists where your from, hometown, etc...on the fourth line I saw her name. It didnt register in my head what I was looking at so my first thought was "In a relationship with (Ex)" and heart just started pounding super hard. My heart rate went up. Then I reread that fourth line and realized it was the "Recently added" friends...I just started laughing hysterically thinking "what am I doing to myself" I busted up laughing and even my cousin who was next to me wondered. Now I know I'm definitely not over her! Aww man that was a killer moment. Probably best never to do that again! Haha Anyways just sharing my epic thriller moment.
The Poster Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Most of us have done it. Don't beat yourself up over it, just learn from it. When my first ex left me 3 years ago, I was CONSTANTLY checking her FB. Like multiple times a day, and yet, nothing I saw ever made me feel better, only worse. It was a hard lesson to learn and curiosity can get really hard to ignore, but you have to do it for your own benefit.
Ieris Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 I deactivated my Facebook years ago when I broke up.. I signed on 3 years after and my ex came up on my newsfeed and I remember thinking... "Man, he's nothing special..." It's so weird when you look back at some of the people you have dated. If you see them on the street now, you probably wouldn't take a second look...
polaske93 Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 Been there.. except in my experience I got on instagram to see a picture of my ex, and my friend I introduced her too just a couple weeks prior.. oh and this was the day after she broke up with me.. I have caught myself creeping oj her facebook page a couple of times since then to see if they were still together.. every time is just as hard.. I recommend you don't do that anymore
Feelbettersoon Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 It's pure torture looking, especially if you were dumped and still have feelings. I've felt ok the past few weeks till I got a call tonight from a friend who mentioned something about my ex that they saw on social media. My heart raced... Yikes, can't imagine looking online!
Author creyente7 Posted January 4, 2015 Author Posted January 4, 2015 Not sure why this is happening. Its mostly the thought of her being intimate with someone else. I was just watching a video on youtube then all of a sudden I imagined that person being with her. It was so painful I had to pause the video, look down and almost was in tears. I felt my heart beat hard. I know its over, I know I need to move on. But why? Isnt the moment of realization that its over the time when you're healed? Ive been contemplating for a few days whether I should contact her or not, but then I'm thinking "I didn't break up with her, last time we spoke she wanted me out of her life" if she wanted to talk to me she would find a way, but not once since after the breakup did she try to contact me. The only time she ever did was to make sure I was okay. I need help understanding these feelings. Is it loneliness, is it rejection, I dont know. I went to church today to ask for guidance. i just want this to be over
welshbambi Posted January 4, 2015 Posted January 4, 2015 Don't contact her, it will do you no good and set you back further. No matter how much we fantasize that they are sitting next to the phone waiting for us to call as much as we might be for them, the reality is that they aren't. It's tough, I know. To acknowledge that someone you shared loving and intimate moments with is now indifferent and doesn't seem to miss you. There is no quick cure and dear gods I wish there was. Keep posting here every time you are tempted to get in touch. Use the thread pinned to the top of this board so you can still say what you want to say, just not directly to her. Keep going - it will all come good eventually.
RedButton Posted January 5, 2015 Posted January 5, 2015 A similar thing happened to me a while back. Thought I was doing okay and absent-mindedly typed her name into google, not really sure what I expected to find or why I did it. It brought up a photo of her. Not even anything odd or with another guy, just a photo with a friend and I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach! I immediately thought to myself, 'what are you doing, you knuckle-head!?' and closed the browser. It's odd, I still feel like doing it sometimes but always wonder what I hope to achieve from it.
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