Gloria25 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I am spending it alone, with cider and tv. A time of reflection and tears. Like many others the year before was different full of promise of a future. Full of mixture of regret and hope, but one thing I have promised to myself, is that I need to look out for myself only. I am going back to therapy and hope that will fix me. But a year on, I am still broken. Sad, Ah, be happy. Put on some music...watch a funny movie. Don't let it get ya down!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author welshbambi Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 Well a Happy New Year to you all! It's 3.22am where I am. I did my ritual at midnight (but not at the beach - but that doesn't matter) and I have to say I feel a little lighter. Less anxious, a little more trusting that whatever forces float around us are going to put things right at some point. I just need to invest in myself, remember who I really am and remember that positivity and warmth out equals positivity and warmth in! I have sent happy wishes out there for those of you who have asked for it as well. My wishes were for your own personal happiness and inner peace. Once you have that you will be amazed at what comes your way! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I really don't do anything for it. I'm just having drinks and listening to some music...probably stay up and watch some movies later. I am gonna drink it up and party... cuz on Monday it's back to barely any sleep and working my butt off... I'm just glad the holidays are over...this woman's on a mission and got stuff to do!!! I already busted my butt the past couple of days working on some stuff...so, now I get to partay!!! Substitute man's for woman's, and your post is exactly what I'm feeling! Listening to scorpions (as I mentioned in a previous post...usually reserved for being on the road, but it's working SOOO well tonight with some bourbon and beer), enjoying my evening and decided I'm staying up late; party of one! cheers!!! Ken 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Today is such a painful day for me. This time last year we spent the evening with each other just talking about life in general, our life and where we were going as a couple, a unit. Popping champagne and having so much fun. I felt like it was bliss, paradise, heaven on earth. Now I find myself sitting behind the bar that my cousin works at, with my ipod on full blast, watching happy people walk about without a care in the world and all i just want to do is crawl inside of myself and never come out. Not to mention that when he was breaking up with me I begged that we just take a break and meet again on this day to see whether we can salvage the relationship. Pathetic I know. I am in such quiet desperation and pain right now that my breathing pattern has changed. It's laboured and slow. I know today is just another day but it's another day that shows he never loved me and that he really isn't coming back. Hurts man. Really hurts. Happy New Year all. Sending you as much light and love as I can muster. FancyFace, I know you're long asleep, but HUGS! It can be so difficult and man, do I hear you! Sending love back to you! Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Well a Happy New Year to you all! It's 3.22am where I am. I did my ritual at midnight (but not at the beach - but that doesn't matter) and I have to say I feel a little lighter. Less anxious, a little more trusting that whatever forces float around us are going to put things right at some point. I just need to invest in myself, remember who I really am and remember that positivity and warmth out equals positivity and warmth in! I have sent happy wishes out there for those of you who have asked for it as well. My wishes were for your own personal happiness and inner peace. Once you have that you will be amazed at what comes your way! welshbambi, I really hope things get better for all of us. Happy wishes and peace to you too! I also feel lighter, but in my case, it's the bourbon. Regardless, happy new year!! Ken Link to post Share on other sites
Author welshbambi Posted January 1, 2015 Author Share Posted January 1, 2015 welshbambi, I really hope things get better for all of us. Happy wishes and peace to you too! I also feel lighter, but in my case, it's the bourbon. Regardless, happy new year!! Ken Aaaaaaahhh Bourbon. Pour me a glass of Maker's Mark if you have any!!! A twist of fresh lime in there as well if you please. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels7 Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I went to a party which was mostly couples so I left before midnight. I wanted to turn over a new leaf and let him go in the New Year. 12:03 and I was sobbing. IF he had tried to contact me I would have broken down and gone to see him. It's been 8 months. How much more of this am I supposed to take?! Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I went to a fancy restaurant with friends. Of course couples everywhere but it's fine I'll fine someone amazing in due time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I went to a party which was mostly couples so I left before midnight. I wanted to turn over a new leaf and let him go in the New Year. 12:03 and I was sobbing. IF he had tried to contact me I would have broken down and gone to see him. It's been 8 months. How much more of this am I supposed to take?! All of it, I'm afraid. If it's any consolation, I felt the same, but knew it would not happen. We spoke earlier in the day and though it was not "bad", it was not " healthy" either. It was hurtful somehow, though she didn't say anything that was hurtful. It was my own reception that made it so. It simply wasn't positive. All I can say is I wish you a much better year, and do you know what? In one more year you will feel so much better! Look forward to a wonderful 2015 and I truly feel it will be wonderful for so many of us!! Ken Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I went to a fancy restaurant with friends. Of course couples everywhere but it's fine I'll fine someone amazing in due time. I wish you peace tonight!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Heartbroken Eagle Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Well a Happy New Year to you all! It's 3.22am where I am. I did my ritual at midnight (but not at the beach - but that doesn't matter) and I have to say I feel a little lighter. Less anxious, a little more trusting that whatever forces float around us are going to put things right at some point. I just need to invest in myself, remember who I really am and remember that positivity and warmth out equals positivity and warmth in! I have sent happy wishes out there for those of you who have asked for it as well. My wishes were for your own personal happiness and inner peace. Once you have that you will be amazed at what comes your way! Thanks Welshbambi and once again, Happy New Year to you too!!! I think with your attitude and positivity, you are going to be alright for 2015... I'm getting teased at the moment by my son bragging about the fact that he's got a girlfriend and that I don't at the moment... I would'nt normally mind but he is a cheeky little 8 year!!! Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Happy new year!!! CRAP Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Well, my daughter called with BF problems. He went out with his buddies and left her alone. We had a nice talk and we consoled, congratulated each other and set up potential appointments with friends who can help each other out. It was very nice. Much better than the burnout I was planning. While I had plenty to drink, it was several shots short of my goal of being completely tanked, so I'm sure that was a good thing somehow. I had still hoped to completely escape my pain for one friggin night, so might have to continue to work it, she is planning on calling me back tonight, so waiting for awhile............... Meanwhile, steel reserve is within grasp. Expecting to awake Jan 1 with a huge hangover...as usual lol. Link to post Share on other sites
JFReyes Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I went to a fancy restaurant with friends. Of course couples everywhere but it's fine I'll fine someone amazing in due time. Yes dude, you will. Took me a while but I did. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I went to a party which was mostly couples so I left before midnight. I wanted to turn over a new leaf and let him go in the New Year. 12:03 and I was sobbing. IF he had tried to contact me I would have broken down and gone to see him. It's been 8 months. How much more of this am I supposed to take?! 6 months for me and I often feel the same as you, I got through all last night without crying then bang out almost out of no where the tears came this morning, we have to remember that we have suffered a huge shock to our systems and it takes time to get over that level of hurt and shock. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ThreeYearsDumb Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 Well, my daughter called with BF problems. He went out with his buddies and left her alone. We had a nice talk and we consoled, congratulated each other and set up potential appointments with friends who can help each other out. It was very nice. Much better than the burnout I was planning. While I had plenty to drink, it was several shots short of my goal of being completely tanked, so I'm sure that was a good thing somehow. I had still hoped to completely escape my pain for one friggin night, so might have to continue to work it, she is planning on calling me back tonight, so waiting for awhile............... Meanwhile, steel reserve is within grasp. Expecting to awake Jan 1 with a huge hangover...as usual lol. I also had to see my Ex yesterday to pick up the kid. There was a look in her eye that I remember. She asked me to have our daughter call her to say good night. It went to voicemail. She's suppose to call this morning to pick the kid up for a few hours. I doubt she actually calls. I've cried everyday since Christmas. I don't have anywhere to go today and my daughter is the only thing That makes me happy, but I feel like I'm putting pressure on a sweet child, my happiness is dependent on her. Tried feeling grateful for the little things like a hot cup of coffee to warm me this morning and I broke down. Luckily my daughter wasn't up yet. I'm weakest in the morning so I have to get stronger throughout the day. Then when she's in bed I can collapse again. I'm dealing with more than the break up, but that seems to be the epicenter. Just have to find some solutions to make 2015 a great one! Link to post Share on other sites
BroknHart Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 I celebrated with my parents last night and was feeling very positive. I was starting 2015 with people I know love me (yet give me tough love when I need the opposite) and with a clean slate. I was looking back to the bad things he had done throughout our relationship and realized there were warning signs I kept ignoring. I loved him so much and knew he wasn't perfect, no one is. I remembered how our last NYE (2014) he pretty much ignored me and seemed annoyed when I asked for a midnight kiss. So thinking it would've been the same if I had been with him this time, I was glad I wasn't spending it with him. However I woke up after only 4 hours of sleep bc I kept dreaming about him. Us being happy together and shopping for house furniture, something we were supposed to be doing this month. We had planned to buy out house this January. Needless to say, I've been in tears all morning. Sleepy but can't sleep. My stomach is in knots and I keep dry heaving. I feel like I'm starting the year the wrong way. I feel like I'm suppose to be waking up to him and rolling over to rest my head on his chest like I used to every morning. I can't help being mad at myself for feeling like this. He doesn't deserve my love. I thought maybe he'd at least send me a happy New Years text, but nothing. Not once has he reached out to me since our breakup. I know I'm the last thing he thinks about. Yet the reality of starting a new year without him scares me so much. I feel as if I've lost direction in life now that the love of my life isn't with me. I feel so empty, lost, confused and broken. The break up changed every aspect of my life. Mostly in negative ways, so I feel as if I'm drowning many times. I'm thankful for the good I have and know things will get better. It's just that in the meantime I'm in a life and emotional crisis. Link to post Share on other sites
kenmore Posted January 1, 2015 Share Posted January 1, 2015 There's a lot of pain in this thread this morning and I am feeling the same way. I have felt so strong all week; making decisions like even if my wife decides to stop the divorce I may keep it going, and decisions relating to specifics in the divorce; and this morning I find myself back in the cesspool of pain. I don't think it is related to the new year. It may have something to do with the mild hangover I'm having, but mostly I think the pain just comes and goes, and it's just one of those times. So, in the interest of self improvement, I would like to offer any remaining positivity and strength I have this morning to all of you, and wish you peace, strength and whatever happiness you can eke out of this fine first day of 2015!! Remember, living well is the best revenge, so hang in there! Ken Link to post Share on other sites
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