momto3boys Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 My coparenting relationship with my ex BADDDDD. I have not admitted this to anyone but it is to the point where its so BAD that its affecting my kids. I really dont know how to "fix" things. My soon to be ex husband has a 21 year old girlfriend who controls EVERYTHING. If i text him, she has to read it. If i email him, she reads it. She has to know when and where pick up and drop off is and what we talk about. Well now its to the point where he wont talk to me at all. I tried to ask him about child support check and he was such a jerk. He is CONSTANTLY a jerk to me. He does anything he can to make things harder for me. Well now all of a sudden he isnt going to pay child support til its court ordered (we have court comign up soon for it). I am just at a loss. I dont understand why he is being such a dick. I think its the gf...I know its not her, he is allowing it. But i think the girlfriend is saying things like "you shouldnt have to pay her til the courts tell you". I know she talks like this because my 6 year old has told me. I am not innocent, i have fired back and argued with him when hes mean. But i really dont want things to be so bad between us. My kids shouldnt feel like we hate each other. Is there anything i can do to get him to back off? I mean he is even bringing up our past anytime we argue, it is so old. I am so sick of it. He left me...has a girlfriend...What does he have to be SO angry about? I work full time..I take care of his kids. Why would he want to make things harder for me? I am just trying to understand because he was helping so much til this girl. I never thought hed stop paying child support..
Author momto3boys Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 oh and she HAS to be there whenever he has our kids. Like she is literally controlling everything.
Yasuandio Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 She's right. Technically, till Court ordered, he doesn't HAVE TO pay a red cent. Just makes him look bad, that's all. Let it. Stop the "Dance of Anger." You do not have to be a participant with this idiotic negotiation that is getting nowhere. Simply have your attorney schedule a hearing, in front of the Judge, for a Temporary Child Support Order plus whatever. No more games. No more irritants. Personally, I would use the hearing as an opportunity to quote the advice of the young lady at the hearing, (perhaps call her as a witness), as well. But run that past your attorney. Done and done. Yas
No Limit Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Of course the girl is his main incentive for his current behavior. Do you really believe she would want you to 'steal her BF', or that she can't get a new pair of fancy shoes? Just wait for court to handle it. They're showing you in any way they can that you can't play nice with them, so stop expecting it. It won't change anytime soon.
Lonelygypsy Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 I just wanted to say im sorry for your situation and i cant imagine dealing with that!! Hopefully he will see that a toddler cant determine that taking care of his kids is not the most important thing for him to do. He is obviously thinking with his lil dick. You poor chick!! Ughhh... my thoughts are with u!
violet1 Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Do you have a case with the office of recovery services? Court ordered or not, he's legally responsible to pay for his children. They will make him pay back child support. Keep a record of what he has or hasn't paid since you've been living in separate house holds. My husband has a child support amount stated in his divorce decree with his ex wife, but they go through the ORS so they don't have to deal with each other unless it's necessary. Unfortunately, not everyone is capable of co-parenting. Just do what's right for your kids. Don't bad mouth him or the GF in front of them. Continue to be the better person. I'm sorry for your frustrations.
sunshine0274 Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 I too am going through the same thing with my ex and his new GF in the sense that he has been so damned rotten to me for no reason. It was his choice to leave, so why the anger? Honestly, to me, they cannot seem to move on to others unless the paint us as villains. So unnecessary. I have decided to not reach out to my ex at all, even about support. We have a court date set up too, so that's that. I am sorry you are going through this. I wish I had an answer for you. Just know you are not alone
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