lifeofdavid09 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I have been in bad relationship where i felt i invested my time, wealth on the wrong person. I am that type of guy who treat whoever i'm in a relationship with - respect, i spoil them, I go far and wide for them. Honestly, after all these failed relationships (Some of these ladies have made advances to get me back - I declined) i have a fear of going far and wide in further relationship. I lie to myself and deny the fact that i am afraid of investing a future on someone who isn't going to stick around when there is a downtime. Is there a limit to what you can do for girlfriend who isn't a fiance or a wife ? - I normally would treat them all the same - I see a GF as a prospect Fiance - Prospect Wife.
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Be yourself & continue to do all those nice things but perhaps guard your heart a bit more. Make sure the person you chose to entrust that has earned your trust. There is nothing I wouldn't do for my husband. There are things that I'd do for a BF but grumble about. 1
Redhead14 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I have been in bad relationship where i felt i invested my time, wealth on the wrong person. I am that type of guy who treat whoever i'm in a relationship with - respect, i spoil them, I go far and wide for them. Honestly, after all these failed relationships (Some of these ladies have made advances to get me back - I declined) i have a fear of going far and wide in further relationship. I lie to myself and deny the fact that i am afraid of investing a future on someone who isn't going to stick around when there is a downtime. Is there a limit to what you can do for girlfriend who isn't a fiance or a wife ? - I normally would treat them all the same - I see a GF as a prospect Fiance - Prospect Wife. It is not healthy to invest yourself so deeply into any relationship. There should be balance. You need to "know" the person you are with too. Some women are independent and don't really want to be lavished on or spoiled. Some do. However, the right person, for you apparently, is one who wants that but overall she should be doing similar things for you. If you're doing "all the work", it not satisfying for either of you. And when you seeing someone, don't project out so far as to be thinking of them as fiance or wife until you do know what kind of woman you are with. Just enjoy the relationship day by day and let things evolve naturally. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. 1
coolheadal Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 With each new GF, you can take it slow and let it develop. Don't start giving them too much. You don't want a gold digger or high maintenance women. This girl should be into you for who your are not for your the home you live in, not for your money or the type of vehicle you drive. If they fall in love you that's is wonderful. If they only like you as a friend well that's it! If you funds are low you tell them and then they say "hey it's just not working out between us" Then you know that women wasn't really supportive in you. I believe you ran into those type of women so far in what your telling us here. Next new GF you go out with be yourself but also remember to cool-down on the gifts. Let the date and relationship develop first. Gifts are the last think you want to be spreading out. Sure you can get them some flowers beside roses. If her birthday get her spa-day pass. Now buy 1K spa treatment. That's over doing it. So I hope you understand what I mean. Take the fear word out of your life and think 100% positive! All the word fear going to do is make you feel low. You want to feel high and ready for the next new date or new GF. NOW GO OUT THERE AND FIND HER! 3
Author lifeofdavid09 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 It is not healthy to invest yourself so deeply into any relationship. There should be balance. You need to "know" the person you are with too. Some women are independent and don't really want to be lavished on or spoiled. Some do. However, the right person, for you apparently, is one who wants that but overall she should be doing similar things for you. If you're doing "all the work", it not satisfying for either of you. And when you seeing someone, don't project out so far as to be thinking of them as fiance or wife until you do know what kind of woman you are with. Just enjoy the relationship day by day and let things evolve naturally. You're putting too much pressure on yourself. @redhead14 thanks.. I really thing i m putting too much pressure on myself. I really don't know how to balance it - Haven't found a way.
Satu Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 @redhead14 thanks.. I really thing i m putting too much pressure on myself. I really don't know how to balance it - Haven't found a way. Generosity is a nice quality, but I think you should restrain yourself a bit. If you give someone everything at the start, what will you give later?
Author lifeofdavid09 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 With each new GF, you can take it slow and let it develop. Don't start giving them too much. You don't want a gold digger or high maintenance women. This girl should be into you for who your are not for your the home you live in, not for your money or the type of vehicle you drive. If they fall in love you that's is wonderful. If they only like you as a friend well that's it! If you funds are low you tell them and then they say "hey it's just not working out between us" Then you know that women wasn't really supportive in you. I believe you ran into those type of women so far in what your telling us here. Next new GF you go out with be yourself but also remember to cool-down on the gifts. Let the date and relationship develop first. Gifts are the last think you want to be spreading out. Sure you can get them some flowers beside roses. If her birthday get her spa-day pass. Now buy 1K spa treatment. That's over doing it. So I hope you understand what I mean. Take the fear word out of your life and think 100% positive! All the word fear going to do is make you feel low. You want to feel high and ready for the next new date or new GF. NOW GO OUT THERE AND FIND HER! @coolheadal..I understand what you are saying and You are right - When i start to observe a different reaction from previous GF, I then try to cut back on things i do (gift) - Thereafter, issue starts to generate.
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