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She cancelled 2nd date


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Posted (edited)

We had a great first date last week. We got along very well. She was laughing and giggling and even a bit touchy throughout the night.

 

Fast forward a week later and I had proposed we do something else on her day off. 2 days ago she said she was down for meeting up again.

 

The night before the date I sent her a text to confirm a meet up location, she said she would let me know because 'things were going on'. She followed up with another text later saying 'Yeah the stuff I just found out is wow, cant believe my friend took so long to tell someone'.

 

I told her I hope they were alright and she got into some minor details I didn't ask for. Something about hes been through a lot and he is having flashbacks and that he wants to get together with her sometime this week and talk and she was just waiting to find out specifically when.

 

I told her if she can't come tomorrow it's no big deal & that it sounds pretty serious and she said 'I figured you'd understand'. Since she said her friend wanted to meet sometime this 'week' I figured there may have still been a chance she was free for the date, so I told her to just try and give me a heads up if she could still make the date. She said 'You got it'.

 

Now two things.

 

1. Am I reading too much into this? Because she said her friend wanted to meet sometime this 'week' and when I said it's no big deal if she can't show up tomorrow, her response "I figured you'd understand" felt like she already had a meeting setup with her friend, which kind of contradicts her story saying she was 'waiting to find out' when she'd be meeting him.

 

2. How to proceed? My gut reaction is to believe her, but I've been burned in the past so im a bit hesitant to trust so easily and have my guard up. Should I leave her alone for a while and let her contact me whenever she's ready, or should I check up on her again in a few days?

Edited by InsaneTrombone
Posted

Her friend is the guy she really wants to go out with. She might not even reschedule or she will to her convenience.

 

Either way, I'd already count her out. If she were that interested, she'd already have offered at LEAST a counter-date. But nope, she's waiting to see where someone else falls into place and then MAYBE will tell you.

 

I'd just not text/contact her. You left the ball in her court, so no use even trying at this point.

Posted

It could be she wants to be there for her friend but doesn't know when that will be so she's waiting to find that out first.

 

Now if I'm painty too rosy of a picture by giving her the benefit of the doubt, I do have to say that etiquette would suggest she say the words "I'm sorry" and then explain that she'd still like to meet up and will let you know the days she IS available.

 

Move on in the meantime, it'll be a bonus if you hear from her but assume that you won't for your own sake.

Posted

This is why you multi-date in the beginning. You always have options, you don't get hung up on IF someone is going to make time for you because, you have options. You don't over analyze everything someone does or says because, you have options. One flakes, you have options. And they will flake.

 

Just be cool. If you hear from her, great. If you don't, move on.

  • Like 1
Posted

I agree that if she was truly interested she would have already offered another day. Call this one a closed case and move on.

  • Author
Posted
This is why you multi-date in the beginning. You always have options, you don't get hung up on IF someone is going to make time for you because, you have options. You don't over analyze everything someone does or says because, you have options. One flakes, you have options. And they will flake.

 

Just be cool. If you hear from her, great. If you don't, move on.

 

I do have another girl on the side who is pretty infatuated with me, but I just wanted some other peoples opinions on this particular situation and how I should proceed with it.

 

Thanks for the responses everyone. I'll be sure to update this thread if she gets back to me.

  • Author
Posted (edited)
It could be she wants to be there for her friend but doesn't know when that will be so she's waiting to find that out first.

 

Now if I'm painty too rosy of a picture by giving her the benefit of the doubt, I do have to say that etiquette would suggest she say the words "I'm sorry" and then explain that she'd still like to meet up and will let you know the days she IS available.

 

Move on in the meantime, it'll be a bonus if you hear from her but assume that you won't for your own sake.

 

She sent me a small video of her singing happily in her car with I presume was said friend driving.

 

I think I'm going to ignore it lol

 

Then she sent me a text apologizing saying she felt so bad

Edited by InsaneTrombone
Posted

She sent you a vid? Big deal...

 

Go out with the other chick that you know, and setup dates with other girls.

Dont ever get caught thinking about random details, and over thinking the situation.

In the long run, it all doesnt matter

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