dustpull Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 Hello guys, First of all I would like to say that I'm gay (Just telling you this so you won't be confused with the story). I met up with a guy from grindr (hook up/date app) last month. He initiated everything, from the very first text to hangouts. At first I thought he was out of my league since he's very good looking and quite popular (judging on his FB and instagram). Our first hangout was not sexual. In fact, our conversations were never sexual (okay maybe once after we first hung out, but that's bc we were getting to know each other). He's a 'virgin'. We've kind of built this sort of friend/flirt kind of 'relationship'. He would do 80% of the initiating. Long story short, the first hangout was nice. He brought a friend who brought his other friends. We met up at a bar in times square. When we talked he was so close to me that we almost kissed. When we got home he said he had a great time. We texted the next day, I told him I almost came close to kissing him if it wasn't for his friends there. He told me I should've gone for it. That was 3 weeks ago. We've been texting on and off since then, like he would say hello and whatnot every 3-5 days. Skipping time, he asked me out again last saturday night. BTW, he's leaving to Columbia for 3 weeks for vacay on the 30th December, today this post is written actually. So yeah, he's leaving today. We hung out a bar again, this time I brought a friend and he didn't. We both got somewhat drunk (I was tipsy). This time I made the move, we were talking closely again and I went for the kiss. We made out for a few hours on and off. He's very passive aggressive, like sometimes when I kissed him he would turn his head back slightly, as if he wanted me to push myself to him or something. He's kinda trying to play hard to get but would always fall back to me. He then said some really flirty things to me, like : "I really like you alot" "I want you to be a part of this" (I asked him what he meant, he said he wants to be with me everywhere tonight) "Please don't leave me alone anymore. Don't leave me" (On our first hangout, I left him 'early' with his friends, but that's bc it was 2 am lol) "You should come to Columbia with me, it would be really fun" (I'm 100% sure this is drunk talk lol) "I want to sleep with you" (I know for sure he doesn't mean sex, like cuddling) After we left the bar at like 3am, I walked him to the station, it took us like 45 minutes to walk. He was sobering up, and he kept being flirtatious with me. He finally said the magic words. He said 'Does this mean we can go on dates now? Let's not go to a bar, lets do something else next time' Then I nonchalantly replied with a "sure". I was quite surprised at how I reacted myself, I wasn't really that 'excited' at the time, which is funny since I had a huge crush on him. He then told me to go before he leaves for Columbia. I agreed, and he gave me a kiss and we hugged for awhile. THIS IS WHEN **** GETS CONFUSING. CLICHEEEEEE. He told me to text him/him texting me when we both get home. I texted him first telling him i got home and told him to text me cause I'm really worried for him (he was still drunk and he had to go back all the way to new jersey) at 5am. He replied at 6 am with cold ass "hey I'm goood". On that day we texted very briefly, as if he didn't say the things he told me that night. I actually talked to him about what he said to me last night, if he remembered it at all, he said he remembered it (even though he asked 'omg what did i say?.. was it bad?') Regarding the date, he said 'I remember that. That would be fun to do. Though to be honest I think I have to postpone that :) ' Like wtf? Why's he being cold now? I don't get it. Am I just overthinking things? I messaged him yesterday telling him have a safe trip to columbia (I pretended as if he was flying yesterday), but he never replied to me. How the **** did I screw up? I legit 100000% thought the tables were turned and that he was so into me. Atleast thats how he made me feel. I'm extremely confused and I don't know what to do. I even got over my crush at him before he asked me out that night. He made me fall for him that night, on a drunken craze smh. He wasn't even that drunk. He spoke coherently and still walked straight. :sick: Any advice/thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 On that day we texted very briefly, as if he didn't say the things he told me that night. I actually talked to him about what he said to me last night, if he remembered it at all, he said he remembered it (even though he asked 'omg what did i say?.. was it bad?') Regarding the date, he said 'I remember that. That would be fun to do. Though to be honest I think I have to postpone that :) ' Like wtf? Why's he being cold now? I don't get it. Am I just overthinking things? I messaged him yesterday telling him have a safe trip to columbia (I pretended as if he was flying yesterday), but he never replied to me. How the **** did I screw up? I legit 100000% thought the tables were turned and that he was so into me. Atleast thats how he made me feel. I'm extremely confused and I don't know what to do. I even got over my crush at him before he asked me out that night. He made me fall for him that night, on a drunken craze smh. He wasn't even that drunk. He spoke coherently and still walked straight. :sick: Any advice/thoughts? Yes you are definitely over-thinking things! He traveled all the way home in the middle of the night when drunk, he probably just wanted to get to bed, he was not in a lovey dovey mood but he text. I don't understand why you are upset he has to reschedule your date. He is leaving today. When is he suppose to find time to go out on a date with you? He told you it would be fun to go on a date with smiles and stuff. Relax! it's all good. As for not texting back, he's busy. I just got back from a 1 week trip for Christmas and I didn't have 1 minute to text anyone! and that was not a trip out of the country either. So it's all good so far. Relax and keep busy while he's gone. I am sure he will get back to you when he comes back. If he doesn't then it's no big deal, right! Life will go on and you will meet someone else as exciting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dustpull Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 Yes you are definitely over-thinking things! He traveled all the way home in the middle of the night when drunk, he probably just wanted to get to bed, he was not in a lovey dovey mood but he text. I don't understand why you are upset he has to reschedule your date. He is leaving today. When is he suppose to find time to go out on a date with you? He told you it would be fun to go on a date with smiles and stuff. Relax! it's all good. As for not texting back, he's busy. I just got back from a 1 week trip for Christmas and I didn't have 1 minute to text anyone! and that was not a trip out of the country either. So it's all good so far. Relax and keep busy while he's gone. I am sure he will get back to you when he comes back. If he doesn't then it's no big deal, right! Life will go on and you will meet someone else as exciting. Well the thing is, I'm used to hot and cold guys, and they usually end up being players. I would say I'm pretty experienced since I get disappointed alot lol. Thing is, yeah maybe I am, but he really really wanted to go out with me before columbia. By the way he texted me on the next day feels very cold to me. He didn't even reply to my last night message, which was wishing him a safe travel and tons of fun. I saw his grindr this morning and he was online, which means he ignored my last night's message. He only ignored me once or twice in the past, but he would always message back in 10 hours or so. It's been a full day, and he's leaving tonight. Could it be he lost interest? Maybe he finally got me, and now I'm no longer appealing to him? It's annoying bc I have some other guys chasing me, but I like him alot Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted December 30, 2014 Share Posted December 30, 2014 I remember when a couple of women flirted with me, gave me their number, even to stop by their place any time....when they were drunk only to have them conveniently forget when I do call them. They would sound like a deer trapped in headlights sound to their voice....and when they would see me at a Meetup again only to be very short with me. Its as if they regret giving me their number Link to post Share on other sites
Author dustpull Posted December 30, 2014 Author Share Posted December 30, 2014 I remember when a couple of women flirted with me, gave me their number, even to stop by their place any time....when they were drunk only to have them conveniently forget when I do call them. They would sound like a deer trapped in headlights sound to their voice....and when they would see me at a Meetup again only to be very short with me. Its as if they regret giving me their number You mean they're only into you when you're drunk? But those women are random no? Ive talked to this guy for am onth and we've hung out once. He's initiated texts when he's sober and he always asks me out Link to post Share on other sites
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