ziggue Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 My friends and air recently met this new guy. He is new to the area. Looking to meet new people. He is single also. Mentions to us he is there to meet new people. Not for a relationship or anything. On Christmas Eve he invites us to his place to look at the lights and mingle with his new neighbours. I was the only one that was free. Still decided to go over. Had dinner, drinks. Chatted to neighbours, listened to music. It was a awesome night. I kind of had a thing for him. When he ended up kissing me, that took me by surprise but kissed back. I was just happy to make out with him. But then we could not control ourselves and ended up having sex. He made me breaky the next day. No awkwardness. We were still the same. We've hung out 2 times since then. Both having fun and with his kids. My other friend and her kid as well. I end up asking after a comment he made about not being able to handle one night stands. This upset me. I asked him "but I was a one night stand to you?" He responds with "I see one night stands as never seeing that person again after sex. I still hang out with you." He mentions that it was an awesome night and enjoyed having sex with me but it better stop cause things might get complicated later on. He also added "sleeping with you was never a mistake." I had, had those same thoughts earlier on to. "I do care about you as a person" I mentioned to him I care about him as a person to. Thoughts on this?
newlyborn Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 are you going to date him or continue to sleep with him? if not, then it sounds like it may have been an unintentional one-night stand. but maybe he doesn't want things to be awkward and wants to be friends.
Author ziggue Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 Tempted to sleep with him again but would prefer to date him. Not sure what will end up happening between us. Think it is best just to be friends for now. Does him saying he cares mean anything?
newlyborn Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 that he is polite and trying to not come off as an insensitive jerk. have you known him long enough for any real "caring" to develop?
coolheadal Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 One night stands never really end so well. At least he told you his intentions up front. Most won't say anything and keep you guessing. I use to hang out with two guys that all they did was one-night-stands. The women they where with almost ask me will so and so take me out on real date or come to live with me. I told her flat out it's just about one-night-stands with these two nothing more. But what I've learn back then that they had girls they had for one-night-stands and girls for serious love making. Today both guys finally got married but never to the girls they were doing one-night-stands with or those on the side. I only gone with them during that time since you can have a night out for free if you know the club owners. As for you well you seem to want more but this guy already told you and him can stay friends and nothing more. Just like the two guys I had hang out with. But that's all they wanted. This guy you where with is one-night-stand player. Is who you want to be with? Never going to take it to the next step with you. He already said it can get complex. By saying that is an easy exit out that he had with you. Might consider to move on and find a more stable guy and relationship you can enjoy.
Author ziggue Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 Known him for a few weeks. We mainly hang out with he and his kids now. Last time my friend and I crashed at his place he made no moves. He reckons he has been married/divorced after 12,13 years. Slept with no one else for 3 years. Fell back into sleeping with the ex wife at first but finally past it after 3 years. Started a new relationship with someone beginning of this year. It only lasted 3, 4 months the first one after his divorce. Then me. We are both the same age.
Author ziggue Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 I did think he was pretty smooth for someone who has been out of the game for a while. But when we hang out he does come across genuine and is great with his kids.
newlyborn Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 i think you should stop hanging out with him for a while. he's new to town, a single dad, noncommittal about dating. i just don't see that there is anything there for you, except some hurt feelings down the road.
Author ziggue Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 Never been in this situation before. It is a bit weird. Reminds me of a Elaine and Jerry type situation on Seinfeld lol.
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