elle naturelle Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Just wanted to add something in this Dating forum pertaining to your boyfriends / girlfriends night out with close friends -- girls and guys night out. Some statements I would love your opinions and comments on are: 1) Guys and girls can, in general, not be trusted with the opposite sex when out drinking with their close, rowdy, single friends. 2) There are certain characteristics of a person that make them ALWAYS a player when out with close friends. 3) You generally get a feeling of uneasiness when something is wrong and you know your significant other well. 4) People should always trust someone until there is reason not to. 5) As people get older, their ability to refrain from the opposite sex increases, regardless of how appealing that person my be. 6) Flirtation to the point of leading people on is natural. 7) People overreact when there significant others are out on the town with friends. These are JUST general statements for discussion. My opinion will be introduced as discussion develops.
LittleMiss Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Originally posted by elle naturelle 1) Guys and girls can, in general, not be trusted with the opposite sex when out drinking with their close, rowdy, single friends. 2) There are certain characteristics of a person that make them ALWAYS a player when out with close friends. 3) You generally get a feeling of uneasiness when something is wrong and you know your significant other well. 4) People should always trust someone until there is reason not to. 5) As people get older, their ability to refrain from the opposite sex increases, regardless of how appealing that person my be. 6) Flirtation to the point of leading people on is natural. 7) People overreact when there significant others are out on the town with friends. 1. Disagree completely 2. Disagree 3. Not sure 4. Completely agree with and live by, if there is no trust then you have an unhealthy relationship. 5. I believe this is true due to the fact that people mature as they get older and realize the effects of their behavior. They know that if they mess around and they have a good relationship that it will be ruined. When your younger sometimes you don't think about things like that. 6. I think some people are naturally flirtatious, but that is controllable. I'm one of those people. I'm flirty, but I know not to go too far and when to quit. 7. I agree with this. Guys don't like girls going out with their single girlfriends because they think their out to go f*ck around, and girls are the same way. It's a jealousy and trust issue.
alphamale Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 depends on the person and your present and prior history with them.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 For me, it matters WHERE you go. For instance, I don't feel comfortable going to a club with my single girlfriends because I have no need to go to a club to dance and drink. You usually go to a club to meet available men, and since I'm committed I don't feel the need to do that. If girls night out is dinner with drinks and a movie or whatever then that's cool. I feel the same about guys night out- if my bf wants to go to a sports bar and have some beers or the casino to gamble, play poker or whatever that's cool. Heading to the local dance club is not. Why should he need to go and dance with other women if he's committed to me?
Author elle naturelle Posted March 25, 2005 Author Posted March 25, 2005 To elaborate on some points so far. Mz. Pixie: What if a lot of your single girlfriends want to go to a club? Then would you go to enjoy their company or would you rather stay in and miss out on a good time with your friends? Alphamale: Do you think the length of time you have been dating is an issue? 2 months versus 10 years? Tabatha: 3) You generally get a feeling of uneasiness when something is wrong and you know your significant other well. I made this statement because of a past relationship where I knew before the night was over that he had done something "bad" and would not be back for a few days. That relationship ended.... Great points...
tanbark813 Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 1. Depends on the person. 2. Depends on the person. 3. Agree 4. Disagree - Trust should start out neutral; neither totally trusting or totally distrusting. Trust level then increases or decreases in response to the other person's behavior. Blindly trusting someone from the start is naive and a good way to set yourself up for disappointment. 5. Agree 6. Depends on the person. Some people are flirtatious, some aren't. 7. Depends on the situation/people. Sometimes people are just suspicious and they overreact. Sometimes the person has justifiable bad gut feelings and they are reacting appropriately.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 I would say, gee I'm sorry, I have other plans and yes, I would miss it. This is just me, but when you do things like that I think you're putting yourself in temptations pathway. You're putting yourself in the path of things that could make you stray- drinking, dancing, flirting with members of the opposite sex. When you're with your gf's you might be more apt to do things that you wouldn't do before. You know, you're drinking, they are there, laughing etc. It's kinda like someone saying- you know I'm not going to drink if I drive down this street and there isn't a liquor store when you know there is one on that street? Make sense?? I'm saying this because I'm in a serious relationship- it's different when you are just casually dating someone.
d'Arthez Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Originally posted by elle naturelle 1) Guys and girls can, in general, not be trusted with the opposite sex when out drinking with their close, rowdy, single friends. 2) There are certain characteristics of a person that make them ALWAYS a player when out with close friends. 3) You generally get a feeling of uneasiness when something is wrong and you know your significant other well. 4) People should always trust someone until there is reason not to. 5) As people get older, their ability to refrain from the opposite sex increases, regardless of how appealing that person my be. 6) Flirtation to the point of leading people on is natural. 7) People overreact when there significant others are out on the town with friends. 1. Depends on the character of the persons involved. 2. Depends on the character of the person. Some people like to do so, as it makes them feel better. Others absolutely don't. 3. Agree 4. Trust is easy with me. Hard to lose, and impossible to restore. 5. True. But for some people that time is when they are quite young, and other people spend their whole life running after people of the opposite sex. 6. Disagree. A lot of people behave in that way though, to get ego boosts, or deal with their insecurities. And subsequently get themselves in all kinds of idiotic messes. 7. Depends on the character of the SO, and if that does not dispell all "fears", also on the exact situation.
Hund1976 Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 I think for most of the questions the answer depends on the person. I don't feel comfortable going to a club with my single girlfriends because I have no need to go to a club to dance and drink. You usually go to a club to meet available men, and since I'm committed I don't feel the need to do that. I sort of agree with this. I think the type of stuff I would do would differ depending on my relationship status. If I was in a serious relationship with someone and all my single friends were going out to a club to get drunk and try to hook up then I don't think I would go on that trip too often. If all my friends were getting lucky then I would be left alone in the club. And though I have some willpower I'd rather not tempt it too much.
LittleMiss Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Originally posted by elle naturelle Tabatha: 3) You generally get a feeling of uneasiness when something is wrong and you know your significant other well. I made this statement because of a past relationship where I knew before the night was over that he had done something "bad" and would not be back for a few days. That relationship ended.... Yeah okay I can understand that now. I've experienced this with an ex of mine. He was definately not to be trusted. Every time he went out I knew he was going to mess around on me. He always denied it and I always found out that later I was right.
alphamale Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 Originally posted by elle naturelle Alphamale: Do you think the length of time you have been dating is an issue? 2 months versus 10 years? of course, ELLE NATURELLE. when you've been with someone for 10 yrs you are much more aware of what they are capable of and what they are not capable of and their habits and idiosyncracies. what the hell do u know about someone after 2 months? nada, zilch, zero, nuthin'!
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