elaine567 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 It's not what I NEED. It's just the principle of it. So, if I meet a wonderful woman at work, at school, through a friend, get to know her, have some laughs, have great compatibility, BUT there is a 80% chance that she has nixed me from Day 1 because of my race? I mean, you don't think about that and think that's a little messed up? Yes but it is all about personal preference and no-one can force someone to like blue eyes if their preference is for brown eyes or vice versa, or to like small boobs when they love big boobs or vice versa. People get nixed for all sorts of reasons from day one, we all have filters we employ. Race is just a filter some employ, it isn't necessarily fair, but who said life was fair. If there was a ginormous dating computer in the sky, then your most compatible mate may be a fat, single mother with 6 kids in Australia, but if you have a filter that says you will not date fat, single mothers, nor will you travel, then you never meet her...
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) Yes but it is all about personal preference and no-one can force someone to like blue eyes if their preference is for brown eyes or vice versa, or to like small boobs when they love big boobs or vice versa. People get nixed for all sorts of reasons from day one, we all have filters we employ. Race is just a filter some employ, it isn't necessarily fair, but who said life was fair. If there was a ginormous dating computer in the sky, then your most compatible mate may be a fat, single mother with 6 kids in Australia, but if you have a filter that says you will not date fat, single mothers, nor will you travel, then you never meet her... It depends how many people you are getting nixed by. Of course, if you are a white woman who is 5'5", fit, and of average attractiveness, then you are saying "Well, hey people like what they like. Life is not fair." Ya hear me? As for your example, it's EXTREME as always. It's always a grotesque fat lady being compared to an Asian/Indian man. :lmao: No seriously, though. If she was really cool, and compatible and a similar age, I would think about it. I'd be a hypocrite if I didn't, right? The odds that overweight woman would give me a chance are probably even less! Also, the kids thing is different. That is due to life choices and not relevant to this conversation. Anyway, I had just been objective up to this point. I just said the vast majority of non-Asian women will not date Asian guys under any circumstances and it is true. Edited January 10, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember
elaine567 Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 It depends how many people you are getting nixed by. Of course, if you are a white woman who is 5'5", fit, and of average attractiveness, then you are saying "Well, hey people like what they like. Life is not fair." Ya hear me? Yeah I do. If she is being rejected, she can lose/gain a bit of weight, she can go to the gym, she can wear more make up, she can wear high heels, she can dress better, she can work on her personality, so many avenues, but if she is being rejected purely on race... Hmmm. I get you. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Yeah I do. If she is being rejected, she can lose/gain a bit of weight, she can go to the gym, she can wear more make up, she can wear high heels, she can dress better, she can work on her personality, so many avenues, but if she is being rejected purely on race... Hmmm. I get you. I don't really want to get into it (someone got me going), but everybody's answer in dating is always, "Well, tough life's not fair. People like what they like." I mean, what if that was the answer for everything else in life, from civil rights, to domestic violence, to robbery, murder, etc. "Well tough, life's not fair." We strive for equality in those things, and people fight to change their mentality and make a difference, but in dating, "Well, it's just not fair."
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Yea, I'm pretty sure that guy doesn't date Maggie in real life. However, that guy could do decent with some real life white women. But he's just going against the odds. 7 or 8 out 10 white women will not date Asian men (or black men, or Indian men), so it's like an obstacle within an obstacle. True but it does send a subconscious message that an asian guy can be a possibility. I think it definitely helps when hollywood breaks stereotypes. Unfortunately it doesn't happen very often. John Cho is the only other guy I can think of. 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) True but it does send a subconscious message that an asian guy can be a possibility. I think it definitely helps when hollywood breaks stereotypes. Unfortunately it doesn't happen very often. John Cho is the only other guy I can think of. For the next generation. Glenn's not really even manly though and can't even believe he can get Maggie, so it's implied Maggie likes him because he is LITERALLY one of the last men left on Earth. LMFAO! Edited January 10, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember
40 Fonzarelli Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 For the next generation. Glenn's not really even manly though and can't even believe he can get Maggie, so it's implied Maggie likes him because he is LITERALLY one of the last men left on Earth. LMFAO! Lol maybe it might have the opposite effect? On a side note, I have some white girlfriends that think the Daniel Dae Kim is hot. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I just said the vast majority of non-Asian women will not date Asian guys under any circumstances and it is true. Do you date within your own race?
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 Do you date within your own race? I don't exclude via race. This topic has been discussed before but I just cannot see how someone could exclude a whole race for lack of attractiveness, let alone the vast majority of people. What I can understand is straight racism, but let's be honest, that's not what we're talking about. I mean, if you were gonna really interrogate me, then I'd say I'd probably have the least attraction as a whole to XXXX race. But even in that race (non-mixed), I've met some amazingly beautiful women. I mean, I dunno. It's weird to me. But whatever.
patriciasex Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 1. The notion that Asian women are more subservient is bizarre. I lived in Japan for a year and dating other Asian women. This is BS. Perhaps there are some, but I tend to see that as a facade of subservience to get something. It is done more as a game in my experience. Don't date those women regardless of race. 2. People confuse race and culture so much here that is actually scares me. There are some "types" of women I will not date - mainly because I have learned that I cannot overcome the cultural differences. This stuff shows up sooner or later folks. It just does. I am speaking from experience. An Asian woman born and raised in NY City will have more in common with me than a white girl from New Orleans. Just a cultural thing. Some Black women are gorgeous, but I would never even attempt a serious relationship with one. Way too many tricky cultural challenges to overcome. It just isn't worth it to me. 3. I think that one poster had it right. American women are too harsh. Not that they aren't feminine - in fact some are hyper feminine. There is almost an insane level of "look at me" narcissism these days. Women want to be "powerful" and "strong" but they have no idea what those words really mean - on average. So I would rather be with a woman who understands and uses her own power to good effect and not try to wrestle with me for power. That is boring and weak and ultimately toxic for a relationship. Respecting each others' power is where it is at. Not fighting for power with each other. This almost goes without saying, but American women get pissy when this is mentioned - and THAT is the point. With so many women coming to America for American men, it makes for slim pickings for American women. Sad when you think about it.
MalachiX Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I like variety. I tend to be a very visual person (which is why I work in film and photography); so there's a lot of different things that can be sexy. Black, white, asian, latina, all can be very appealing as can different kinds of body types (sometimes super fit is hot and sometimes curvy is sexy). When I was a teenager I definatly had more of a type (thin-but-not-skinny white brunette with dark hair/eyes). The older I get, the more attracted I am to all kinds of women. Except women with annoying voices. For some reason that's a HUGE turn-off for me.
Rejected Rosebud Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 I don't exclude via race. This topic has been discussed before but I just cannot see how someone could exclude a whole race for lack of attractiveness, let alone the vast majority of people. You seem awfully preoccupied with what you believe "most" women specifically white women are doing. I have to tell you that is not an attractive quality of yours, you should just drop the subject already. If you 1) make sure you are working on yourself to be the best you can be and 2) go for women you feel attracted to until one clicks with you You will be fine. If you keep fretting about what all the white women are doing you are pretty stuck I'm sorry to say! 1
MissTrudy Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) 2. People confuse race and culture so much here that is actually scares me. funny thing that it scares you, because you totally just did it yourself Some Black women are gorgeous, but I would never even attempt a serious relationship with one. Way too many tricky cultural challenges to overcome. It just isn't worth it to me. A black american raised in Oaks Bluff, MA ≠ a black american raised in Detroit, MI. likewise: black americans ≠ black brazilians ≠ black dominicans ≠ black jamaicans ≠black brits ≠ black french ≠black south africans ≠ black nigerians ≠ black swedes ≠black israelis ≠ [insert country with a black diaspora population here]. Edited January 10, 2015 by MissTrudy 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 10, 2015 Posted January 10, 2015 (edited) You seem awfully preoccupied with what you believe "most" women specifically white women are doing. I have to tell you that is not an attractive quality of yours, you should just drop the subject already. If you 1) make sure you are working on yourself to be the best you can be and 2) go for women you feel attracted to until one clicks with you You will be fine. If you keep fretting about what all the white women are doing you are pretty stuck I'm sorry to say! You're the one who drew it out of me! If you didn't want me to say my opinion, then why did you keep replying to my posts? Just so you could criticize me? Yes, it bothers me that SO MANY people screen for race, because it affects me. Am I obssessed with it? No. I typically have mostly went for women of my own race. Edited January 10, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember
Shining One Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 You seem awfully preoccupied with what you believe "most" women specifically white women are doing. I have to tell you that is not an attractive quality of yours, you should just drop the subject already. If you 1) make sure you are working on yourself to be the best you can be and 2) go for women you feel attracted to until one clicks with you You will be fine. If you keep fretting about what all the white women are doing you are pretty stuck I'm sorry to say!Unfortunately, this is something that's hard to ignore if you're doing online dating, especially with Match. I don't have experience with the other sites, so I can't speak for them. Just to satisfy my curiosity, I logged in to Match to look at my top 20 recommendations. Only 3 of them would potentially date me based on their racial requirements. I didn't look at anything else. The experience would be a lot better if you could actually do a search based on the woman's requirements. I wouldn't care about the hundreds of women who won't date me because of my ethnicity if I didn't have to click through all of their profiles to find the few that will date me.
Emilia Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 That's not really true at all though. Most women will only date their own race and/or white men. Some will throw one or two others in there, but most only have their own, or their own and white. Go look it up. Um, I live in one of the most diverse cities in the world so I'm calling BS on your post 1
markleymassraff Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 I'm an Asian female and my last two involvements (including one that just started) have been with white guys. But prior to that, I was with Hispanic, Indian, etc.
Shining One Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Um, I live in one of the most diverse cities in the world so I'm calling BS on your post I've noticed that this behavior regional as well. Where I live, the women (of OLD) seem to be very selective on this topic. When I travel to several of the Caribbean islands, the women are less selective. I just changed my search parameters on Match to a city on a Caribbean island. Out of the top 20 matches there, 16 would date my race. Of those 16, only 4 are the same race as me.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Um, I live in one of the most diverse cities in the world so I'm calling BS on your post Unfortunately so do I. Well, near at least. And my city is more diverse than yours. I think it would surprise you. Like I said, go on Match.com and check it out. I'm not sure how popular that is in London though.
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