accident_prone Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 i was seeing this pretty cool girl for about two months. we both have tough schedules so we were averaging about once a week. though short, our time together was great. about 10 days ago we saw a movie together and afterward i told her i'd like to see her a little more than we'd been managing and she kind of shut down and said she didn't know if she wanted more, had to think, etc. and we parted ways with her saying she'd "let me know whats going on/talk to me soon" i was cool about it but also annoyed and left it in her court. i didnt hear from her for a week and only heard then a few days ago for her to say merry christmas and she hopes i'm well, which i politely responded to. i know how this all works so i assumed its a lost cause but should i attempt to get in contact with her or is it pointless given the clear signs she's not into it anymore? thanks in advance
WonderWoman911 Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Being as though it has only been two months you've being seeing her,maybe she feels like it's too soon for the two of you to see each other as much as you would like. She could possibly still be in the phase of getting to know you more and just taking her time. Or she probably don't want to feel smothered with you being around so much. Some people enjoy having their space. I would still try to stay in contact with her with hello, how are you doing texts,etc. But don't mention seeing her,getting together, and things like that. Allow her to mention it. 1
Jules Dash Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 These sort of situations are challenging because if you say too much, you can scare someone off. I found that it is best to not mention things such as "I like to see you more" and just go at trying to do it. Either she will be down for it or not. Otherwise, just let things gradually build and not force it. If once a week is the thing, I generally don't push for more in the beginning stages until she starts hinting at it an increase . When a woman is ready for more time to be spent with you, she will let you know and generally push for it to happen. After 2 months, if there is not a push for more then I would be more aware of how things are going in the relationship. There is usually a signal that you have missed. 1
Assada Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 You should definately move on. See other women. For some reason, I dont think that this is the only statement that drove her away. Keep her in the rolodex. you might want to go out and have fun with her, but keep your options open
Author accident_prone Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 i appreciate all of your responses and advice. so at this point, i have not seen her in two weeks and have only spoken to her twice in that time, one merry christmas from her and a happy new year from me. i feel like this whole thing has been blown out of proportion. given the fact there has been zero contact otherwise, should i try and break this silence or would it be pointless now? it's rather frustrating as this girl was really cool and we had gotten along very well. thanks again
Trenton100 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 i appreciate all of your responses and advice. so at this point, i have not seen her in two weeks and have only spoken to her twice in that time, one merry christmas from her and a happy new year from me. i feel like this whole thing has been blown out of proportion. given the fact there has been zero contact otherwise, should i try and break this silence or would it be pointless now? it's rather frustrating as this girl was really cool and we had gotten along very well. thanks again Don't bother. For all you know she's seeing someone else. Just like the usual flake out, she isn't being up front. Been there, done that. You're just going to end up hurting yourself if you keep pursuing.
dp22 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 hey dont know if youve read my problem, mines similar but we were more serious, but from what ive learnt from it is well if you do like her, deffenatly keep in contact ask her out to something when the oppurtunity arises but let her take the lead if she says shes busy, she might actually be busy but just shrug it off and pretend you dont care keep talk casual she might tell you a day shes free and thats your oppurtunity cause i think even if a girl wants to go out they like the guy to ask them out and have a plan.
SpiralOut Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 Sounds like she likes you but she scares off easily. Keep in touch with her if you like but don't wait for her. Go ahead and date other women if you want.
Gloria25 Posted January 2, 2015 Posted January 2, 2015 i appreciate all of your responses and advice. so at this point, i have not seen her in two weeks and have only spoken to her twice in that time, one merry christmas from her and a happy new year from me. i feel like this whole thing has been blown out of proportion. given the fact there has been zero contact otherwise, should i try and break this silence or would it be pointless now? it's rather frustrating as this girl was really cool and we had gotten along very well. thanks again Well, your two weeks of not hearing from her were over the holidays....give it some time after the holidays - maybe another week or two. Maybe shoot her a quick call or text to ask her how her holiday was and see if she comes around. I mean, you two have only been dating two months and not the holidays kicked in. That's why I don't like dating around the holidays.
Recommended Posts