prpqmnj Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 6 months ago, I got dumped. She dumped me. Since then I joined a gym (I go 3x a week and have got more serious about it), I've been hanging out with good friends and have been focusing back on my work. Lately I've been seeing my ex in public, and there are some questionable things that have popped up. I should say that I made an attempt to just to 'bury the hatchet' or 'clear the air' if there were any misunderstandings with her -- to which she replied, "I don't want to be friends, I don't care, sorry" So I wrote back "Thank you, that's all I needed, have a nice life" -- her iPhone chat bubble appeared as if to write something but then disappeared. I think that was back in September or October. Last night I'm out with friends, we're at a bar, and she's there. At one point, I'm talking to a buddy mine, I happen to pan over to another friend, but in the middle of it, I happen to notice my ex girlfriend was looking at me. It was odd. I should say that I've been able to rebuild my self confidence from the ground up, learn not to take anyone's **** and enjoy life more. As I would talk to people at the bar, I could definitely feel her looking over at me. Fast forward to tonight... I'm at a concert, and she shows up. She goes to the other side of the bar, happens to be within eye distance. She attempts to go to various angles, as if to be noticed. She even went as far as to go to the same area that my buddy and I were standing at, having a drink -- I didn't flinch or acknowledge her (she's been ignoring me in public) -- they walk away. I continue to have a few drinks and have fun. I enjoy the concert and at one point, happen to look to my left and notice her giving me the same look again, almost like a look of realization, maybe some emptiness? I definitely can tell she was noticing me quite a bit. I ended up leaving and heading home, and now I'm wondering if any of this actually means anything, or if she's having some kind of second thoughts, or really does miss me. Mind you, I finally had enough of her not being a decent human being to me and just walked away -- though she hasn't spoke or texted me, I feel that she's trying to communicate in someway by doing all of this.
Ieris Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Haha she must be thinking how good you look! Look at her moving around trying to get your attention (so desperate!) You carry on ignoring her! You've surpassed her! Don't ever go back! ;p
Zahara Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 If she wanted to communicate she will pick up the phone and reach out to you. Anything less than that, ignore. Aim higher.
lauri Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Way to go man. You're driving her insane by doing that and its all for your benefit. Don't give in...this is exactly what she wanted.
hoping2heal Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I don't know but it's one thing to tell you she does not want to be friends, its another to throw in "I don't care". She sounds bitchy so heck with her. Maybe she is surprised to see you out having a good time and not sitting at home crying over her princess ass :lmao::lmao:
Author prpqmnj Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 I don't know but it's one thing to tell you she does not want to be friends, its another to throw in "I don't care". She sounds bitchy so heck with her. Maybe she is surprised to see you out having a good time and not sitting at home crying over her princess ass :lmao::lmao: I can't help think that when I said "Have a nice life" -- that she probably realized that was it. Hence, the attempting to write something but then deleting it -- normally she's one to state her mind and speak what she feels, and we've always had open communication even when we dated. It's possible that she might have regrets. A part of me wanted to be kind and text her, but I recall what happened last time I did it.
d0nnivain Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 At best it's a case of her not being able to deal with the fact that you are seemingly over her. Since you live nearby she will pop up occasionally. You seem to be handling it well. She gets a tight, cold smile & no meaningful attention. If forced to deal with her you be polite but cold & keep it quick. Living well is the best revenge.
dumbass2 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Sounds like you may want to try and get back with her. At this point though, you have to let her contact you with something significant and not just a "hi, how you" or her looking at you. If she really feels regret, she will come crawling back. She may also not necessarily want to be back with you, but doesn't like the fact that you are out having a good time without her at your side. Play it cool. If she wants to get back, she will make it clear and if you have to wonder what she is doing, then it tells you that she doesn't. If you contact her, you will lose the advantage that you now have. Remember, she dumped you!
Author prpqmnj Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 Within the past 8 months, I had been on a course of rebuilding my confidence, relearning things about myself and having a different outlook on life. Thanks to some great friends I've been able to realize things and see who I was/what I did and learn from it. One of those things that I learned is that I was no longer upset at my ex who dumped me. If anything, I had seen her frequently but never got the urge to talk to her (as in respecting space) -- I had become more at peace with myself and realized that I had things to work on, and at the time of when we were together, I was probably acting a bit dramatic, immature, etc. So, I wrote her a text -- but more so in the fashion of wanting to bury the hatchet, at least to make peace. It went like this; "It's a shame that things didn't work out between us and couldn't stay friends, I had been doing some thinking and realized that one of my flaws as a human being is that I tend to take things too seriously/personally -- and that I can be dramatic at times. I don't think of you any differently, I hope there are no hard feelings." I get a response a few minutes later, including an audio message... "You're just nothing to be anymore, not even a thought, I don't even know why you're texting me again -- I will never be your friend ever again." All I wrote was "I can accept that, and I understand" Left it at that. It seems that my attempt, backfired. I feel like I'm in a much better place in terms of maturity and clarity, but it doesn't seem to have been well received. Even with her response, I definitely don't feel anger or anything, but more so along the lines of empathy, that someone still feels that way.
towardthefuture Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 I looked at your past posts. You were together for 2 months? You've been apart longer than you were together. She wasn't into you and you were a rebound. You're just gonna have to come to terms with that one. Probably time to throw in the towel on this one, brother.
Author prpqmnj Posted February 12, 2015 Author Posted February 12, 2015 I looked at your past posts. You were together for 2 months? You've been apart longer than you were together. She wasn't into you and you were a rebound. You're just gonna have to come to terms with that one. Probably time to throw in the towel on this one, brother. Technically 3 months, but yes, most likely was the rebound. Had an incredibly hard time accepting the break up due to liking her a lot. Mentally I feel better over the duration of 8 months. And I finally came to terms with it, just parting ways I wished for no bitterness anymore. Doesn't mean we have to talk ever again, just leaving on a final note and that I hope it's understood between the both of us.
mightycpa Posted February 12, 2015 Posted February 12, 2015 Sounds like you're half way there. You still have some expectations about her, about how she should act (respond to you). Once you dump those, you'll be home free. 1
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