crazychick Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 So we had this blow up a couple days ago, my ex sends me these weird emails - stupid stuff. I tried to ignore him but then it just got out of control. He told me to just go meet someone else and I told him that I did meet someone else. Which I have, he is a nice guy, sweet, funny. I like him. We have only gone on a couple of dates and I told him I want to take it slow because I still have all of these mixed up feelings about the ex and I don't want to rush into anything. When I told my ex this he flips out, and then we don't talk anymore for 2 days. To me, I am thinking - that's it. I obviously cannot be friends with this guy, he is a nut job and he is actually turning pretty cold and mean over the last month. I had no intention of talking to him again. So then yesterday I am at work and I get this phone call from him. He asks me if when I went to the dentist did it hurt, and then about my plans for the night, asked me what I was working on, etc. Then we hung up. Didn't talk to him last night and have no intention of calling him. I just don't get it. We have this huge fight - basically I tell him that I am moving on and I'm done with all of this and he says the same thing, then this phone call out of the blue. Why? I was too shocked that he would even call to fight or anything. Of course he mentioned nothing about the fight or anything like that. So what the heck is up?
BoatingBabe Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 He knows if he calls, he'll be on your mind and you'll wonder about what is going on...(like you're doing now) and hopefully screw up the relationship you just started. He hasn't decided what to do with you....so he doesn't want to lose you altogether...at this point.
Hund1976 Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 I agree with the last one, he still has feelings for you so he doesn't want to be totally out of the picture.
Author crazychick Posted March 25, 2005 Author Posted March 25, 2005 But he has to be out of the picture. I mean I can't keep hanging on to what we had, and feeling like I do. I need to move on. It seems like from what you are saying is, he wants it to be over, but isn't ready to move on - and doesn't want me to either until he is ready to himself. Right? That's not very fair. So do I confront him about that or just ignore his calls until he stops making them? Its really hard because I really did care about him (and still do) we have been thru a lot. But if its over, then its over, right?
Sckott Posted March 25, 2005 Posted March 25, 2005 It rarely is ever any other way.... Two people who have had a deep emotional connection are used to sharing something. When things part ways, it's as if everyone loses their mind if you both have even small feelings for each other still. The ironic thing is, nothing like this happens when you're both in love. When you part, if there are feelings too, the emotionals go haywire. It's not his fault or your's. You both need to do the NC.
Author crazychick Posted March 28, 2005 Author Posted March 28, 2005 So he and I have not talked since the dentist incident. Not on the phone, not thru email, nothing. So I am thinking that this is probably good. But it is so hard. I would be lying if I said I didn't think about calling him everyday, every couple of hours. The pain is a little less, but it is still there. I go thru and make up these reasons in my head for why I might need to talk to him, but then I never call, or anything. I know I need to be past this, and I am trying. Why do break up's suck so much? The worst part is, I really knew deep down we were not meant to be together. I found myself not wanting to be with him over the last few months, pulling myself away. Making excuses not to be around him, coming up with reasons to leave his house early. I didn't want to be with him, there was just too much that was wrong. He was like 2 people, this really funny, nice guy and then this jerky drug addict guy, who didn't do anything for me ever. I tried so hard in the beginning, I would buy him gifts, cook him dinner, took care of him when he was sick, do little things for him just because, and he never did anything like that for me. Also, he told me that he never wanted to go on a date with me (he didn't like dates), so he would never pick me up and get dressed up to go anywhere. The only way we could go out is if I came over right after work and then we would get dinner - SOMETIMES. Most of the time we would just watch tv at his house. How many Sienfeld or Simpsons reruns can someone watch before they go crazy. I mean I love both shows, but when that is all you are doing with your boyfriend, it gets old. But now that he is gone, really gone, it hurts and it sucks. Why? Why does it suck so bad, when I know we were all wrong to begin with?
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