Physx7 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Ok, I really don't know what to do in my current situation or what to think of it. There was this girl I was seeing for a while. Because of circumstances, she moved in with me shortly after we started dating, but she slept in my second bedroom. She showed me some signs she really cared for me, like spending almost all her time with me, confiding in me about things she didn't tell others, and whenever I wasn't around, she would call/text me ALL the time. However, after living together for a full month, we only slept together once (she claimed she tried to push through her issues, but wasn't able to) and for the most part, we only gave each other hugs and simple kisses on the lips (albeit she would usually initiate it though). As far as her issues, she was dealing with a bad bout of depression because of her circumstances (trying to work on her calling in life, dealing with a divorce 8 months prior to us meeting, and a few other issues). I know she didn't want her ex back, but she wouldn't tell me why she was holding back of showing me any physical affection other than the hug and kiss goodbye or goodnight. After a little over a month of living together, the stress was too much. It was frustrating her that I kept wanting to know why she was holding back (even though I would only try to talk to her about it once a week or so) and I was getting frustrated that I didn't see anything progressing with us without any explanation at all whatsoever, so we had a falling out. She left to go stay with her mother when I told her either things needed to progress or she needed to leave. We talked the next day after she left. I told her if she never wanted to hear from me again, all she had to do was say so. She replied with "I just want a break." I know at this point my best bet is to back off and let her come back to me, but I'm not sure how to handle this situation? Another concern of mine was I was helping her some financially and sort of feel used, but then again, she did do a lot of things to show she cared and spent nearly all her time with me. So, I do believe she cared, but because of how closed off she was, I really don't know what was going through her head. I want to back off to make her wonder, but she is extremely attractive and has tons of guys chasing her all the time. I don't want to be one to fade off into the background, but also know if I don't back off, I will lose any chance here. I was thinking of waiting a week and if I didn't hear back from her, send her flowers with a casual note saying something like "I hope things are going better for you." so that it's casual but keeps me fresh in her memory. With New Years coming up, I don't know if she might get annoyed that I ignore her though or if it would be a good thing to do so and make her wonder? I hate the games, but I know I need to play them a little here if I want a chance at getting her back. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Winterina Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 She does seem to need some space at this point in life. That means that you leave her to have that space, not in order to make her wonder, but to do the right thing for yourself. No, don't contact her on New Year's eve. Don't send her flowers in a week. When someone asks you for space the ball is in their side of the court and they are the ones that should make the next contact. But do not sit around waiting for it. Focus on yourself and other women around you in the meanwhile.
Author Physx7 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 She does seem to need some space at this point in life. That means that you leave her to have that space, not in order to make her wonder, but to do the right thing for yourself. No, don't contact her on New Year's eve. Don't send her flowers in a week. When someone asks you for space the ball is in their side of the court and they are the ones that should make the next contact. But do not sit around waiting for it. Focus on yourself and other women around you in the meanwhile. Thanks for the advice. My only concern is that if I do nothing, I might just fade off as she gets to know new guys. She uses Tinder and claims it's only to make new friends, but it's of course annoying when all the new "friends" she makes are men and I see her add new ones on her Facebook every freaking day. Makes me feel like her "break" is really "exploring other options," but I just don't know. So then if weeks go by and I still don't hear from her, no point in even contacting her then?
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