ralfgarnett Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Hi all coming up to 6 months apart soon and its been really awfull, one thing I have found though is looking forward to sleep, either in bed at night or on the sofa at weekends after a few beers, had a couple of trips abroad recently and even in the afternoons I have had a couple of hours sleep and it has been well received, anyone else taken to the free distraction of sleeping in order to help and cope with the pain and stress of separation and also the crap our WS inflicts on us ?
welshbambi Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Hi Ralf Yes, sometimes things do look better after a sleep! However, if you are finding this is a coping mechanism rather than just something to relax, you may be exhibiting signs of clinical depression. This would be a common development after a separation so nothing to be alarmed about - don't believe the media hype! I would recommend going to see your doctor in the first instance and explain your situation and that you have been sleeping more. Some other things you can do for yourself: Try to get a little exercise every few days, even if it's just a walk around the block to start with. You might want to consider your diet (plenty of iron rich foods and foods rich in omega 3 are great for naturally boosting seratonin levels, which are your happy chemicals in the brain). You might also want to consider going to therapy or counselling. No one else needs to know if it;s something that you wouldn't normally do. I have started going and having someone to talk to with no judgement and who can help you look at things from a different perspective can be a real game changer. You may also want to speak to your doctor about checking things like B12 levels - sometimes people deficient in this vitamin, which is hard to absorb through food like other vitamins, can also put people into a depressive state. Couple that with the stress of a break up and it's no wonder you are finding it so hard to move on to the next phase of your journey after 6 months. Personally, I ahve found posting on here and listening to others and getting their advice for myself has been invaluable in helping me keep focussed and moving forward. 1
erklat Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I think it is rather a sign of depression than a coping mechanism. I myself sleep in the afternoon pretty often. But I have diagnosed depression and I take medication which make me dull.
NopeNah Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 My add mind gets around 3hrs a night. I can't sleep during the day.
Author ralfgarnett Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 Hi Ralf Yes, sometimes things do look better after a sleep! However, if you are finding this is a coping mechanism rather than just something to relax, you may be exhibiting signs of clinical depression. This would be a common development after a separation so nothing to be alarmed about - don't believe the media hype! I would recommend going to see your doctor in the first instance and explain your situation and that you have been sleeping more. Some other things you can do for yourself: Try to get a little exercise every few days, even if it's just a walk around the block to start with. You might want to consider your diet (plenty of iron rich foods and foods rich in omega 3 are great for naturally boosting seratonin levels, which are your happy chemicals in the brain). You might also want to consider going to therapy or counselling. No one else needs to know if it;s something that you wouldn't normally do. I have started going and having someone to talk to with no judgement and who can help you look at things from a different perspective can be a real game changer. You may also want to speak to your doctor about checking things like B12 levels - sometimes people deficient in this vitamin, which is hard to absorb through food like other vitamins, can also put people into a depressive state. Couple that with the stress of a break up and it's no wonder you are finding it so hard to move on to the next phase of your journey after 6 months. Personally, I ahve found posting on here and listening to others and getting their advice for myself has been invaluable in helping me keep focussed and moving forward. Hi WB, thanks to you and the others for your reply, I am on meds for depression and eat lots of fish for the omega 3, I have been in counselling for a few months now and it seems to help, I think the reason I like sleeping is because I feel safe in bed and also have some nice dreams, but yes I also think that part of this is depression as I feel pretty lifeless a lot of the time especially this time of year when I often drink in the afternoons and always in the evenings, I had a check up last week and all my results have come back as being very good and I have even mnaged to lost 2 stones in weight so all things considered not doing to bad under the strain of the past 6 months.
welshbambi Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Be careful if you are drinking if you are also taking meds for depression. That is usually not advisable! It could also be your meds making you sleepy - I know mirtazipine also known as remerol is notorious for knocking people out at night. Although that should wear off. Some ssri anti depressants can also make you feel quite flat as they are balancing rather than boosting your mood. That is a very general and brief overview but I would ask your doctor to run through the side effects so you can make sure you're on the right med combinations and dosage. Otherwise it sounds like you are taking care of yourself and we'll dobe on the weight loss!
Author ralfgarnett Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 Thanks WB you sound a very kind and caring person your husband must of been mad to leave you behind.
welshbambi Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 Thanks WB you sound a very kind and caring person your husband must of been mad to leave you behind. You know what Ralf? I think he might have been! But that can only mean that there is someone more worthy out there who will appreciate my need to care and will return that to me. The same will happen for you!
carhill Posted January 1, 2015 Posted January 1, 2015 anyone else taken to the free distraction of sleeping in order to help and cope with the pain and stressBeen about 25 years ago but I recall doing that for a couple years, though for different relationship issues than you outlined. Back then I didn't drink but came to see, later after getting married and starting to drink (!), it as an escape from dealing with and processing emotions. IMO, at that time, counseling would have paid big dividends but I chose to tough it out alone. Pretty dark time. What snapped the cycle was getting into a couple volunteer groups and socializing a bit more and those choices energized the sleep cycle back to the normal (for me) 4-5 hours at night, where prior I was sleeping 12 hours a day minimum. It often felt like being 'hung over', something I wouldn't experience until years down the road to make the comparison. Good luck!
Author ralfgarnett Posted January 1, 2015 Author Posted January 1, 2015 You know what Ralf? I think he might have been! But that can only mean that there is someone more worthy out there who will appreciate my need to care and will return that to me. The same will happen for you! shame your not closer to me we could look after and care for each other
Author ralfgarnett Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Dang it worked against me last night, I was tired yesterday after a late night on NYE so I had a couple of snifters and had an early night last night and was in bed by 10pm looking forward to a nice big sleep only to spend the entire night dreaming of her and it has left me feeling shaky today and out of sorts, and I must of been panicking because I woke up a few times struggling to catch my breath I need to get that looked at as it could be the start of asthma which I have never had before.
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