Trenton100 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 This girl I've been talking to for 3 weeks...Im feeling down. Things are not going particularly well in her life. Nothing major just little things. I've been trying to see her again and Im realizing the couple of times I have...she hardly laughed at anything. I just called her and she told me how stressed she was and sounded depressed. I try to cheer her up, tell her she can call me to vent and I get "meh". Now I'm not so excited. My life isn't in top shape either but at least I can find the joy in getting to know someone. I got off the phone and I feel kind of depressed. Its like I'm dating...a complainer. Ugh. I might have to walk away from this. I like her but I want someone so I can be happier. I get life isn't perfect but the whole tone was just negative. Nothing I said meant anything or made her feel better. Ugh again.
WonderWoman911 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 (edited) I'm quite sure that this can be draining. Maybe you should do some type of activities with her that will take her mind off of the chaos she has going on in her life. Talking on the phone is good,but sometimes getting out of the house,getting fresh air and seeing exciting things can be helpful as well. You've only been talking to her for 3 weeks. I would give it a few more weeks. Although she may not seem excited after she talks to you, you can possibly be the strength that she needs. You said you want someone else you can be happier with. We all do, but in relationships you go through ups and downs. Edited December 30, 2014 by WonderWoman911
toscaroscura Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I agree with you. I have struggles in my life like anyone but I always try to remain positive. I need someone with a positive spirit and who believes in operating in good faith and not seeing the worst in everything. Granted, there is a time to vent, but otherwise I won't dwell or burden others with negative emotions.
aggie382 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I thought you already ended it because she chose to watch a football game? 2
Author Trenton100 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 I still like her and all, it just kind of made me feel a bit down myself. She's acting sort of weird now. She said yesterday "you known that other guy I was dating when we met?" "Yeah" "We decided to be just friends." I asked her why she told me this. "Because I wanted you to know" Well OBVIOUSLY. God...
Author Trenton100 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 I thought you already ended it because she chose to watch a football game? No, I never said that.
mortensorchid Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Although I don't know the whole story of you and her, being with a person who is depressed is horrendous. I suffer from depression as well, but I realized long ago that the decision to beat it is deep within the individual. You have to choose not to be miserable or let it beat you, you have to choose something more positive than what it is you are feeling or circumstances around you. If you do not allow this change within yourself or allow others to help you if necessary, then there is no hope for the situation. If others attempt to help you and you refuse it, then you do it because you like being the center of attention for your depressed state. As the SO of someone who is depressed, you have to hammer this home to that other person in order for them to know what it is or isn't with you. If they consistently deny or refuse to hear what you or others are telling them, I'm afraid the only answer is to walk away so that they learn their lesson. Because it can and will affect you as the SO as well. In your situation, I would say get out while the getting is still good if you are only 3 weeks into it. You will feel better in the long run about yourself. Whatever her situation is, she will have to work on that herself and there's nothing you can do about it.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 I still like her and all, it just kind of made me feel a bit down myself. She's acting sort of weird now. She said yesterday "you known that other guy I was dating when we met?" "Yeah" "We decided to be just friends." I asked her why she told me this. "Because I wanted you to know" Well OBVIOUSLY. God... I don't understand the problem with this. She's basically telling you she's more available to you. And you're upset? Why?
Author Trenton100 Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 I don't understand the problem with this. She's basically telling you she's more available to you. And you're upset? Why? No, it didn't upset me. It was just vague. Instead of telling me she is more available, she told me that. Again this is all done via text which has always been in issue with me. That statement alone leaves so much up for interpretation. Is she telling me that to say we are exclusively dating? Is she saying that to hint that we should be friends too? How would I know? Sure, I JUST found out at 230am today that it meant what I hoped it meant. I don't know what the hell is going on. She has been very non-responsive up until now, after I told her to knock it off with this "guarded" attitude because some moron who screwed her over is dictating how she is approaching me. I told her it isn't fair for her to feel that way while ignoring my past experiences which make believe she is doing the fading thing. It goes both ways.
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