Johnson1 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 (edited) My girlfriend has a Samsung Galaxy S4. From my computer at work I could see when she went on and offline on Facebook because the green chat dot used to go on and off periodically during the day. I had mentioned to her that I knew when she awoke in the morning and got on Facebook because her green light used to come on, but a few days after I told her that her green chat light has been on constantly. What did she do to make it stay on? Edited December 29, 2014 by Vocals5
me85 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 The green dot is only to show you that person is currently on FB. She could be leaving it up while on her computer but not actually be on it but if you're seeing that she is on her mobile then that girl is seriously addicted to her FB! I myself had a bit of a problem when I first joined 5 years ago. It can be a compulsion for some. It doesn't mean she's doing anything wrong or behind your back. Just ask her why she likes FB so much. But really, that's pointless. I mean, why do any of us like it?? Because it helps pass the time and there are funny videos and pictures to look at.
Author Johnson1 Posted December 29, 2014 Author Posted December 29, 2014 (edited) The green dot is only to show you that person is currently on FB. She could be leaving it up while on her computer but not actually be on it but if you're seeing that she is on her mobile then that girl is seriously addicted to her FB! I myself had a bit of a problem when I first joined 5 years ago. It can be a compulsion for some. It doesn't mean she's doing anything wrong or behind your back. Just ask her why she likes FB so much. But really, that's pointless. I mean, why do any of us like it?? Because it helps pass the time and there are funny videos and pictures to look at. It's because I let her know that I was bothered by the fact that as soon as she wakes up she spends a half hour on FB before saying good morning. It makes me feel like there's something she is doing on FB is more important than I am and it gets the wheels turning. If the roles were reversed I would text her good morning before anything else because SHE comes first because I care and miss her. I guess my point is I guess it makes me feel like she doesn't miss me all that much when she wakes up. She says she loves me all the time and we're very close, but actions speak louder than words. Edited December 29, 2014 by Vocals5
me85 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 I don't mean to be insensitive to what you're feeling but maybe cut her some slack. Too much togetherness and constant communication in a RS isn't always a good thing. In fact, I'd say that it's the worst. You both need your space. Is it really the end of the world that she'd rather wake up and look at her FB before telling you good morning? How important is her telling you good morning and good night? If she tells you she loves you all the time then what else do you really need? Don't waste time on this matter. It's really not a big deal.
ExpatInItaly Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 I think you're being insecure, OP. Are you honestly sitting on FB at work and watching to see when she logs in? If your relationship is otherwise good, I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. If she thinks you're monitoring her, it could cause her to pull back. How did she respond when you brought this up to her?
Tayken Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 My girlfriend has a Samsung Galaxy S4. From my computer at work I could see when she went on and offline on Facebook because the green chat dot used to go on and off periodically during the day. I had mentioned to her that I knew when she awoke in the morning and got on Facebook because her green light used to come on, but a few days after I told her that her green chat light has been on constantly. What did she do to make it stay on? If I had to guess, she just stayed logged on so you wouldn't know when she goes on? It sure seems like it's bugging you, and this is one of the more common drama I see from people that are on it
Trenton100 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Yeah the FB thing seems to cause more problems than anything. I even got into the habit of checking it to see if the girl I was currently seeing at the time was active or not. My solution was to simply not have an account. I'm no longer going to put myself in those positions. Between that and anal retentiveness of changing your status to "relationship", it isn't worth it.
Erised Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 She can just leave it open, or have downloaded the messenger program because I know it seems to suggest I'm online when I'm not. I would have done it intentionally if someone was giving me a hard time over it, as well. What's the big deal if she scrolls through Facebook before she jumps into an actual conversation with anyone? That seems really possessive/needy.
DrReplyInRhymes Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 If I remember correctly, back when I had Facebook, there is a messenger app you can install from those crooks, If I recall correctly, it would appear you were online all day, Even if you weren't and didn't check it anyway
writergal Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Facebook messenger on my cell phone shows me active on Facebook chat 24/7 and that's not accurate st all. I'm never on Facebook chat a lot, but plenty of my Facebook friends assume that I am because of that green dot. It's really annoying.
Author Johnson1 Posted December 31, 2014 Author Posted December 31, 2014 (edited) Facebook messenger on my cell phone shows me active on Facebook chat 24/7 and that's not accurate st all. I'm never on Facebook chat a lot, but plenty of my Facebook friends assume that I am because of that green dot. It's really annoying. Okay, I got my answer. Thank you. She does have FB Messenger and uses it. For a day and a half her green light was on constantly, but now it's gone back to going on and off again. I'm still not exactly sure why she uses FB Messenger. I'm trying so hard not to pry into her phone life. She has several guy friends. One who's a gigolo who's been her best friend for years who she claims she never did anything with, one was a friend with benefits she's known for a couple of years, and the other is an older guy biker ex boyfriend who she says is like a father figure to her now. It sux because she claims to love me up and down and said she would never cheat, but at times can be distant and unattentive, like she doesn't want to look at me. We seem to be locked in a battle of mind games. I'll ask her what's wrong and she'll say 'nothing babe'. Then when something is bothering me, I'll do the same thing, only I'll give up what's bothering me, she never talks about what she's thinking about. We've only been going together for 2 months, but its like we're husband and wife and have known each other for years. I know everyone will say we're just getting to know each other, but the fact is I was married to the say woman for 30 years and never really knew what she was thinking half the time. I'll admit I've been scarred by my ex. When we were 17 she told me she loved me and one day told me she had to stay after school for detention. As it turned out she was having wild sex with my best friend behind my back. He gave her up to get back at me for ignoring him for her. Needless to say, I was devastated. Like an idiot I married her and stayed with her all those years anyway, but never trusted her and always felt like she has something going on behind my back. Now that we've divorced last December and I'm back to dating, I've found the last two women I dated before the one I'm dating now questionable about their fidelity. Now because of that I find it hard to trust my current woman. Her having all these guy friends (some of whom are ex lovers) doesn't help. Edited December 31, 2014 by Vocals5
Rydo Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 It's because I let her know that I was bothered by the fact that as soon as she wakes up she spends a half hour on FB before saying good morning. It makes me feel like there's something she is doing on FB is more important than I am and it gets the wheels turning. If the roles were reversed I would text her good morning before anything else because SHE comes first because I care and miss her. I guess my point is I guess it makes me feel like she doesn't miss me all that much when she wakes up. She says she loves me all the time and we're very close, but actions speak louder than words. Be less needy or you will end up single... 2
Art_Critic Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 Be less needy or you will end up single... I agree with this, you certainly don't need to be keeping tabs on her.. and stay off of FB when at work..work is for working...
ExpatInItaly Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 (edited) So, it appears the FB Messenger issue is really a symptom of a much larger problem: you're suspicious of her and there's a lack of trust. Your ex's mistakes are not her mistakes, but you are projecting them on to her. If you're not comfortable with her being in close contact with ex-boyfriends or FWBs, tell her. Fair enough, that would probably make anyone uncomfortable.Do you feel she's not addressing your concerns? It seems that you're worried she's actually talking to these specific guys and not you...correct? There's not much more you can do than trust her and accept her the way she is, or decide it's not working for you and walk away. 2 months is a short time and it sounds like you've already become quite invested. Slow down. You really are still just getting to know each other. If there are already problems and you're 'locked in a battle of mind games' after such a short time, it's a red flag. Something isn't right in the relationship. Edited December 31, 2014 by ExpatInItaly
KatZee Posted December 31, 2014 Posted December 31, 2014 It's because I let her know that I was bothered by the fact that as soon as she wakes up she spends a half hour on FB before saying good morning. It makes me feel like there's something she is doing on FB is more important than I am and it gets the wheels turning. If the roles were reversed I would text her good morning before anything else because SHE comes first because I care and miss her. I guess my point is I guess it makes me feel like she doesn't miss me all that much when she wakes up. She says she loves me all the time and we're very close, but actions speak louder than words. If your girlfriend is anything like me, she's now intentionally leaving her Facebook active so you're not aware when she logs in or out. What you said was a red flag, comes off as needy, and insecure, and frankly, controlling. Love does not mean, "dropping everything on planet earth for the person I claim to love because they are first in my life." That completely unhealthy. She wakes up and wants to see what's going on with her friends, in the world, or whatever else. This to you means she doesn't put you first? The wheels turning are a result of YOUR insecurity, YOUR lack of confidence, and whatever issues YOU have in your head. Your girlfriend isn't doing ANYTHING wrong to you. Just because you would wake up and text her immediately after your eyes opened does not mean you care for her more, love her more, or that she loves or cares for you less. You also cannot expect people to behave and treat you the EXACT. SAME. WAY. as you would treat them. You are you. She is she. If she just saw you the night prior, went to bed, and wakes up and you don't get an immediate text message, you automatically assume she doesn't miss you? Do you see how irrational and clingy this sounds? This girl has a life. She has family. Friends. Other people in her life that do not include you. End of the day, the issue lies within yourself. Not her. If I had a boyfriend that pulled this with me, my red flags would be flying. I would absolutely either shut my chat down, or keep it on all the time, because the thought that my boyfriend was now monitoring my online activity would be creepy, and would make me feel weirded out. Actually, now that I type this, I DID have a boyfriend that did this. He would spend weekends at my house when I lived with my parents. He would be in the guest room, I would be in my bedroom. I would wake up, check Facebook, and basically just relax and wake up casually. I would then get texts that said, "I see you're awake!" or I would be in bed and suddenly my bedroom door would open and there he would be. He was actually looking at the internet router activity :sick: and actually told me this like what he was doing was normal. He knew when I was awake and then would be knocking on my door or just walking in 15 seconds later. It was so unattractive, so needy, and so pathetic. I wound up having to just lay in my bed reading so he wouldn't intrude, and I wound up locking my bedroom door so he couldn't just walk in. Not shocking that I dumped him not long after.
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