NopeNah Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Ran into my ex at the bar yesterday. We drank together,talked,laughed,she cried,kissed and we are still no where. She is seeing someone now. I feel horrible today!
me85 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Oh no )= I'm sorry. Just learn from it and don't do it again. Distract yourself with funny things today. My ex and I live in the same area and I never run into him. It's a small town too. It's been a blessing! Though now it really wouldn't bother me if we did run into each other. I wouldn't have any feelings about it. He's been with a young chick for a year now.
Satu Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 "No contact? What's that?" It's when you decide not to hurt yourself. That's all it is. 4
Author NopeNah Posted December 29, 2014 Author Posted December 29, 2014 Yep! BAD!!! So, i'll toss that day in the trash and seize this one and many more! 1
BC1980 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Ran into my ex at the bar yesterday. We drank together,talked,laughed,she cried,kissed and we are still no where. She is seeing someone now. I feel horrible today! It takes interactions likes these to realize that you can't really be friends with an ex. Unless you are indifferent, you can't sit around and chat with an ex about life. It seems harmless enough until you actually try to do it. Next time, don't even make eye contact unless you can help it. Don't tempt yourself. If you do make eye contact, nothing more is required. No one is handing out medals to people who can be friends with an ex. 4
chimpanA-2-chimpanZ Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 (edited) No one is handing out medals to people who can be friends with an ex. This needs to be emblazoned on the surface of the sun. If we can't do that, we need to at least teach it in middle-school health classes. We have such a powerful stigma around breakups! Even the word "dumped" is so intense and carries an air of judgment. People struggle so much with the indignity of "being dumped" that they feel a need to prove they're handling things just fine. This leads to a horrible tangle of denial, confusion and resentment. The dumper is pleasantly surprised at how well their ex is coping and doesn't mind staying on friendly terms; meanwhile, the dumpee puts up a facade of indifference while secretly struggling with their feelings and spiraling into despair every time they talk with the dumper. Social media makes this ten thousand times worse, as dumpees often won't block or unfriend their exes for fear of looking too hurt or causing gossip among mutual friends. So they just keep hurting themselves over and over, the psychological equivalent of picking at scabs, because it's seen as weak to admit they're really struggling. I have been on both sides of the coin. It wasn't until I was 25 that I realized it was okay to acknowledge someone had hurt me and I didn't want to remain friends, and that sometimes the nicest thing you can do is cut someone out completely until they've had a chance to heal. If healing means keeping someone out of your life permanently, then so be it. You don't win some kind of karmic prize for becoming indifferent to an ex. Your feelings are what they are. Edited December 30, 2014 by chimpanA-2-chimpanZ 4
Author NopeNah Posted January 2, 2015 Author Posted January 2, 2015 Ok...Saw my ex out nye.. She was with a few guys. We talked yesterday. She IS seeing the same guy she cheated on me with back in 2009!! Wow! Guess that'll do for me!
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