Age differences.

[aggie382]

Brilliant. Is it peer reviewed and where can I read it?

 

Yes, use Google. JAMA, Harvard, UMass.

 

Here's one, easily found on Google: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2892678/

[Tayken]

When do you draw the line in regards to age gaps? I am interested in some girl, but I found out recently she is 21, and I am 28. However, I am starting to wonder if I should try going for her. I still like her, but at the same time, I kind of wonder about the difference in age.

 

That isn't to say that I don't have other options. One is turning 25 really soon for example. However, people say that age is irrelevant in maturity level. I am mature enough, even though there are some things that I question my maturity on.

 

Friends of mine have told that age is only a number. I know a girl who is 22 and is dating someone who is about a decade older than she is. I've worked with someone who is 24 and her boyfriend is 33. Hell, my grandparents have an 11-year age gap, and they've been married for more than 50 years.

 

What's your stance on this? I am still in school by the way and I am at the point where I am finishing. However, I don't pursue women much over there because a lot of women I see are fresh out of high school.

 

 

Do note that is a lot of these instances, there is daddy issues in play. Mother either denied them access to their father or father didn't care, so they missed out on a male figure in their lives, and are now looking for that as well as security.

 

The USA isnt the centre of earth people...

Believe me, you don't even know half of it. Now that I live on this side of the pond, and cross over the border frequently, it still blows my mind the way most think when dealing with them.

 

There's scientific research out there that clearly shows a teenager's brain is not yet fully developed and thus they are not able to fully appreciate their choices,

 

Was it you that said the same applies to a 22 yr old female in another post?

Edited December 29, 2014 by Tayken

[Rydo]

Yes, use Google. JAMA, Harvard, UMass.

 

Here's one, easily found on Google: Adolescent Maturity and the Brain: The Promise and Pitfalls of Neuroscience Research in Adolescent Health Policy

 

Interesting. Not enough to change my mind though. Particularly when it mentions the brain changing into the third decade of life, that means she could have scarred my fragile mind.

[SomeDude16]

Yep I learned I was 13.5 years older than her. Yes I'm from Europe where only turkey has an age of consent of 18, the rest vary between 13-16 the age of consent in my country is 16. Of course I knew she was a teenager from the start but she was drinking so I assumed 18 as that's technically when we are allowed to drink in this country.

 

Would you feel better if I married her? You can get married at 16 here too.

 

The USA isnt the centre of earth people...

 

Still sketchy man. Had she born a month earlier she would have been 15, which is not legal. The danger here is that you assumed she was 18, you assumed she was of legal age. She was drinking, she came on to you, you didn't know how old she was, and you still had sex with her. You basically took advantage of this girl. I'd think a little harder next time unless you want to end up getting arrested.

[Rydo]

She was 8 months away from being 15 actually.

[WonderWoman911]

Yes, use Google. JAMA, Harvard, UMass.

 

Here's one, easily found on Google: Adolescent Maturity and the Brain: The Promise and Pitfalls of Neuroscience Research in Adolescent Health Policy

 

 

 

Gotta love the facts.

[SomeDude16]

She was 8 months away from being 15 actually.

 

Irrelevant, you only know that in hindsight. Would you want your 16yr old daughter having sex with someone who's almost 30?

[newlyborn]

I'm 30, the oldest girl ive dated is currently 26, the youngest ive accidently slept with is 18 in February, she was 16 at the time so about a 13.5 year age gap. I would say I average 9 years younger. I prefer a girl around 21 usually but I am currently dating someone at 25

 

you slept with a 16-year-old when you were nearly 30?!!!?? did you meet her through her parents?

[Erised]

I don't pay much attention to age. I'd be concerned if a guy exclusively dated much younger and be on high alert for red flags, but not 7 years solidly in adulthood.

 

The guy I have feelings for is 13 years older than I am. Most the guys interested in me are one year younger to 6 years older, and I don't even consider those to be age differences.

 

I would look at her individually. Some 21 year olds are fairly mature; some are very much not. That's true of older women as well, though. Also, it could depend on where you are at emotionally and in your life. I certainly would not dismiss someone out of hand over 7 years.

[JBlackstone]

I'm 31 and currently dating a guy 9 years younger than me. When I was 21-23 I dated a man almost 20 years older... Funny, the younger guy is more stable and mature than the older guy was. It really depends on the person and their place in life/maturity level.

[broken77]

im 37 and her 24.. the age is a non-issue. especially in new york, rather standard

[DancinBallerina]

I'm 28, so prefer to date guys who are 27 (going 28), up to 34. After the 34 mark I have found some men a bit too possessive, too full on. And guys any younger than 27, (sorry to offend), but some have the mental age of a 1 year old.

[Rydo]

Irrelevant, you only know that in hindsight. Would you want your 16yr old daughter having sex with someone who's almost 30?

 

Strange question. I cant think of any age I would actively want my daughter having sex at all.

 

Thankfully this girl isn't my daughter, and if I have scarred her fragile mind then why is she still contacting me even though she is nearly 18? Should I tell her to wait til a specific age next time?

 

The basics are I didn't break the law, I shouldn't have to ID everyone that I think looks quite young. Who carries ID at 16? Nobody in this country unless they have a drivers licence which you cant have at 16.

 

Its an oddly American reaction, most people here wouldn't blink an eye at the fact she was 16.

[Rydo]

you slept with a 16-year-old when you were nearly 30?!!!?? did you meet her through her parents?

 

Obviously not. I met her at a party.

[bnx]

In my opinion, age is irrelevant to maturity level. The age difference you described will not be anything unheard of as time goes on and you are in your mid-40's.

[Rydo]

Gotta love the facts.

 

Gotta read them too unfortunately.

[newlyborn]

Obviously not. I met her at a party.

 

hmmm -- there is something quite desperate about a grown man sleeping with a (legal) child.

[Rydo]

hmmm -- there is something quite desperate about a grown man sleeping with a (legal) child.

 

Really? Nice to know... I guess ill file that under irrelevant opinions:rolleyes:

[newlyborn]

Really? Nice to know... I guess ill file that under irrelevant opinions:rolleyes:

 

please do. i suspect that you knew that already anyway. i mean, who wouldn't?

[Rydo]

please do. i suspect that you knew that already anyway. i mean, who wouldn't?

 

Em everyone not narrowminded? Is that the answer?

[Els]

I wouldn't really consider 21 and 28 to be a sketchy age gap. It's possible that you two may be in different stages of life - I know I wouldn't be compatible with a 21 yo, and I'm close to your age. But if you really like her it doesn't hurt to ask her out and see how it goes. She can always say no if she doesn't want it, and if you aren't compatible you'll find that out later.

[newlyborn]

Em everyone not narrowminded? Is that the answer?

 

hmmm. i don't know. try talking to these young women in a few years. and see how you are remembered.

 

that is the position from which i speak. when i was 21, i dated a man who was 36. when i was 15, i dated a man who was in his early 20's. it was only as an adult when dating other adults that i could see the desperation of men who, for all intents and purposes, played with children.