Dating someone with an obese parent, do you worry this person will end up the same?

[melodicintention]

I want to gather from the guys on here, if you met an attractive physically fit well-put-together woman who took care of her appearance, and then met her mother who was obese and didn't try to look attractive in any way what-so-ever (as in sloppy hair cut, unflattering clothing, general sense of apathy in her demeanor), would you be worried that the lady you are attracted to might end up the same as her mother and thereby scare you off from dating her or asking her out?

 

In general does it make you personally feel offput by someone when their parent is obese and doesn't care for themselves? Do you worry this person might end up the same? I mostly want guys answers but I'm also curious if women would feel the same about a man's parent(s).

 

Thanks for your input.

[WonderWoman911]

If you met a person and they are currently physically fit and well put together,then I wouldn't think that person would end up like their parent. They work out and seem to care a lot about their health, appearance, etc., and may not want to end up like their parent. But if the person starts to lose their physique slowly but surely, eating more and more,then you should be concerned and see the warning signs.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Check this out.

 

Read it too. I saw it over break.

 

Whitney Thore before and after weight gain, PCOS PHOTOS

[Conners]

I don't think it matters. My mum is a bit overweight and used to be very overweight and I have always been slender and I don't think I will ever be "big".

 

In saying that, my mum brought me up not allowing me to have fast food ever and having a good diet, also helps my dad is naturally thin.

 

I guess it would depend on the persons lifestyle. Are they active and eating healthy? If not, the weight will catch up to them when they are older for sure. If they live a good healthy lifestyle, surely they would not become obese. Genetics rarely dictates whether a person would become obese/overweight.

[AVarma]

Nope but then again I like to think people are different from their parents. My father regularly physically and emotionally abused me and my mother. I on the other hand have never lifted a finger on a woman. I'd like to believe my future girlfriend, if I ever get one, will believe through my behavior that I'm different from my father. I hope you can do the same for the person you're dating.

 

Of course obesity and abuse are two completely different things I hope you understand the point I'm trying to make.

Edited December 29, 2014 by AVarma

[SomeDude16]

Lol nope, that's what gym dates are for

[melodicintention]

Thank you to everyone who answered. I remember in the past being told you can be judged by your parents appearance, but so far the consensus is to the contrary. I hope that it is that way in real life with most people.

[USMCHokie]

The person can live a healthy lifestyle but may be genetically predisposed to obesity, especially with childbirth. My first GF's mother was overweight, and my ex had to put in effort to stay trim. I think to this day she has done well for herself, but who knows what will happen as she gets older or has kids.

 

I would say it's a possibility, but if you love her, then it shouldn't be a concern.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Sometimes, seeing your parent make a huge mistake like that can make it less likely you'll go down that route.

 

From my own experience as an example, I lost my Mom to alcoholism around four years ago. Although some people argue that 'addiction' has a genetic component to it, I feel it's far more likely to be a social learning issue, that kids learn from their parents how to deal with difficult situations (with drink), that it seems normal to them so they're more likely to succumb to problems with drinking themselves.

 

However, in my own circumstance, and that of my brother, I feel we've been so deeply hurt and scarred from watching her demise that the potential risks of daily drinking are fresh in the forefront of our minds: we've seen the pain it can bring, so I think I'm less likely than someone with no experience of addiction in their family to actually develop a problem. It couldn't creep up on me by surprise because I'm already hyper vigilant to substance abuse problems thanks to my experience caring for and then losing her. Someone who has never even thought about addiction might easily find themselves with a problem and not realise until it has developed quite far.

 

I think it can be the same with obesity. If she's seen her Mom in that state, she obviously doesn't want to be that way or she wouldn't be not only slim currently, but also well put together, taking pride in her appearance. Perhaps she loves her Mom but worries for her health and vows never to become obese herself, takes pride in looking after herself.

 

I don't think you can rule somebody out because of their parent. They are separate, individual people and it's not fair to judge someone based on their family history until they give you reason to believe otherwise. If a guy refused to date me because of how I lost my Mom years ago I would think very dimly of him and be glad I dodged a bullet.

[Andy_K]

It's likely they will end up similar unless they take active steps to prevent that.

 

If a girl has a slim mum, she's likely not to get fat even if she doesn't make particular effort to stay that way. If she's got an obese mum, chances are that unless she's very into exercise and nutrition, she's going to end up rather chunkier than she is now.

 

So it depends how big a deal health and fitness is to her.

[kaylan]

If the entire family is huge, then yeah, Id wonder if she would later end up that way. If its just a family member or two, and the girl takes care of herself, then its no big deal.

 

My mom is very overweight, but my dad is a healthy weight. My brother is very skinny and I have an athletic build. Im very into fitness though, so even if my metabolism tanks the way my moms did, I wouldnt ever let myself get overweight.