Girlboots Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Tears of frustration in my eyes as i type this... i'm 24. i have literally had 1 boyfriend my entire life. i've had guys interested in me, but they never wanted to claim me. this 1 boyfriend i had wasn't a guy i was crazy about. i was with him because i was lonely and curious. we broke up, and last week we talked about working things out. we hung out for a week, and this guy kissed me and held me and made me feel like we were together and i actually was starting to really like him, and then he started to act shady. he would not text so much or call. then yesterday we planned on hanging out, but i didn't hear from him till 6pm and i asked him if we were still doing something and he's like "i don't feel like it anymore i was in bed all day" and i told him "I think maybe we should just give each other space" and he says ok. nothing else, just ok. end of conversation. this is my dating life. i will meet a guy, i will be attracted to them, we will act like we're together (no sex), and then they just lose interest so quickly. i'm starting to think its because i'm unattractive. because my sisters will be complete witches to their men, and the guys still stick around and worship the ground they walk on because they're beautiful. they have disgusting attitudes and treat their men like crap, and yet they're still together. lord knows that if i treated a guy like anything besides a king, they'd automatically drop it. its so annoying. what am i doing wrong? what am i missing here? i seriously need help. i need honestly. brutal honesty.
WonderWoman911 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 One thing that sticks out to me is when you mentioned your dating life. You mentioned that you would meet a guy,be attracted to him, and then "act" like the two of you are together,then the guy looses interest.I'm thinking the guy(s) may not like the fantasy pretending role playing of being in a relationship. If you're going to be in a relationship,then let it be that way. Some people don't like the guessing game wondering if things are this or that.Especially older guys because they normally don't have time to play games so they would just let you go. Its understandable to be frustrated, but from here on out you just have to try another approach when dating guys since you aren't liking the end results.
Author Girlboots Posted December 29, 2014 Author Posted December 29, 2014 One thing that sticks out to me is when you mentioned your dating life. You mentioned that you would meet a guy,be attracted to him, and then "act" like the two of you are together,then the guy looses interest.I'm thinking the guy(s) may not like the fantasy pretending role playing of being in a relationship. If you're going to be in a relationship,then let it be that way. Some people don't like the guessing game wondering if things are this or that.Especially older guys because they normally don't have time to play games so they would just let you go. Its understandable to be frustrated, but from here on out you just have to try another approach when dating guys since you aren't liking the end results. by act...i guess i meant we would hold hands and talk all the time and go out every weekend. i'm thinking that maybe i smother guys too much?
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Tears of frustration in my eyes as i type this... i'm 24. i have literally had 1 boyfriend my entire life. i've had guys interested in me, but they never wanted to claim me. this 1 boyfriend i had wasn't a guy i was crazy about. i was with him because i was lonely and curious. we broke up, and last week we talked about working things out. we hung out for a week, and this guy kissed me and held me and made me feel like we were together and i actually was starting to really like him, and then he started to act shady. he would not text so much or call. then yesterday we planned on hanging out, but i didn't hear from him till 6pm and i asked him if we were still doing something and he's like "i don't feel like it anymore i was in bed all day" and i told him "I think maybe we should just give each other space" and he says ok. nothing else, just ok. end of conversation. this is my dating life. i will meet a guy, i will be attracted to them, we will act like we're together (no sex), and then they just lose interest so quickly. i'm starting to think its because i'm unattractive. because my sisters will be complete witches to their men, and the guys still stick around and worship the ground they walk on because they're beautiful. they have disgusting attitudes and treat their men like crap, and yet they're still together. lord knows that if i treated a guy like anything besides a king, they'd automatically drop it. its so annoying. what am i doing wrong? what am i missing here? i seriously need help. i need honestly. brutal honesty. You are probably doing nothing wrong... but you're probably fairly gullible when in the area of looking around at life happening in all directions, and letting yourself believe that all of those people to whom life is happening are doing something (important) that you're not doing. If every female was married off by her family on her 16th birthday, then it would be as easy as, say, getting drafted (for the military, at least in many countries) - you'd know what was going to happen, and when... Instead, mating is like playing softball... where you are in one position in the field somewhere, and you have to try your damnedest to refrain from leaving your position because you let yourself believe that the ball is predictably hit more often to some other position. Just as soon as you leave your position, that's when the ball is going to head toward that now-abandoned position!! So keep your boobs, your hairstyle, your wardrobe, your personality, and just keep believing that there is somebody for you on the way fairly soon. And if you are at all GOOD at doing things to help your cause that way... then find some personal interests... things that YOU like... places where your passion lies... and pursue those!! (meaning, maybe take a class at a local college... or find various recreational events/trips/excursions that might interest you, etc) People are really drawn to others who are clearly intrigued and interested by random things. Somebody seeing you attentive and excited by some random interest of yours, is among those most likely to take notice and be drawn to you. 1
Rydo Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 by act...i guess i meant we would hold hands and talk all the time and go out every weekend. i'm thinking that maybe i smother guys too much? Do you have a life of your own outwith dating?
PinkCarnations Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Men like challenges. You don't sound like a challenge whatsoever. It seems like they have complete control over you. Anytime a guy acts distant towards me, I'll pull away just the same but I won't verbalized it. I don't nag. Guys hate nagging. Just act nonchalant, do your own thing, and act like you're totally fine without him. Whenever I do this, guys will always start craving my attention again. And yes, being attractive helps. If you're not happy with the way you look, you should try working on your appearance, which will also have a domino effect on other areas of your life - self esteem boost, etc. 1
Author Girlboots Posted December 30, 2014 Author Posted December 30, 2014 rydo...i thought about your post. i realized that i do not really have a life outside of dating. i believe that if i find something i'm passionate about, i won't have to be so attached to these guys. i guess i'm just a bored woman. pink carnations...i understand that, but i find it very hard to pull myself away from them. to act like i don't care and not speak to them literally drives me crazy. sometimes i feel like a mental disorder, because i become so upset when i don't hear from these guys or if we're giving each other space.but if we break up, i feel ok about it after a while. i guess what bothers me is whenever we're together and we have issues i feel upset, but if we're broken up, it doesn't bug me so much. sincereonlineguy, thank you. that really spoke to me.
nofeelings22 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 The games pink carnation suggests may work on dim witted, inexperienced men, but I'd stick to being yourself while consciously avoiding over smothering them. 1
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