HGirl Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 I went out with a guy for a few months, but we broke up several months ago. He broke up with me, if that is relevant. He was heavily involved in a sports team, and is now off travelling. A few months ago, a guy started chatting me up. As I knew he played on my ex's sports team, I assumed he wouldn't have flirted if he had realised. Rather than embarrass him by bringing it up, I left the situation. I bumped into him again a few weeks ago. He asked for my number. I explained who I was in relation to my ex. He seemed to be aware and it didn't seem to bother him. I had previously turned down a nice guy who had been on his team and regretted it, so I decided to agree to meet up with him next week. However this guy is the third to have asked me out, following my break up with my ex. I know he wasn't best friends with all his teammates, but I had thought they were relatively close. Why are his teammates asking me on dates? Doesn't this break some sort of bro code or team etiquette? They no longer play on the same team, but I just don't understand why I'm getting all this sudden interest.
toscaroscura Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Why did your BF dump you? Honestly, I wouldn't give two hoots about all this "bro code" stuff. Considering he dumped you, I'd think he'd be quite out of line to have a huge problem with it. If you like the guy, go for it! Don't let this ex who dumped you control your life. He had his chance. 1
HEY2147 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 If they dont play on the same team its alright If they are not friends then its alright For a guy its alright the main rules for the bro code in a simple term is mainly "dont **** where you eat" type motto. So if we have to play together its a bad idea to date anothers ex. If we are friends then its a bad idea. See what I mean Another thing is if someone we know has a GF that we are attracted to and they break up and we have no loyalty whatsoever to the guy we would like to ask them out. I think the main reason for this is because when we meet another guys GF at least for me and my friends we automatically judge whether she is hot or not even if we dont mean it it just happens I think. We think 2 things 1"Damn that guy is a luck s.o.b" or 2 "Damn that guy is one poor s.o.b". But I think when you are already have a GF or wife you dont care as much or when you are older you dont care that much. But some guys I've met talk like this too even when they are older like they would say "Hey have you seen so and so how did a guy like that get a girl like her?" I also think the reason they are hitting on is because 1 you're attractive 2. they know you so no awkwardness 3. they know you are available. 1
SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Just realize there is a large possibility that these guys know you better than you think...
Author HGirl Posted December 29, 2014 Author Posted December 29, 2014 Just realize there is a large possibility that these guys know you better than you think... How do you mean?
SomeDude16 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 How do you mean? That's what us guys talk about in the locker room. Sports and our significant other. There is a chance these guys have heard all kinds of stories about you. Of course, what's said in the locker room stays in the locker room... 1
HEY2147 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 He means There is a possibility that your ex might have talked in "length" about you. Even some "PERSONAL" stuff But just realize its just a possibility I mean they are not friends it also depends on who your ex is personally I mean me and my friends don't talk about stuff like that but some do I wouldn't worry about it though. Its something you cant control and can't ever know.
deathandtaxes Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 No longer on the same team? Not close friends? You have the green light. You shouldn't be the one to worry about a bro code violation anyways. That's the guy's job! 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 You might be being passed around as "easy" or because of particular "skill" or "talent" in the bedroom you may have acquired...it's not a coincidence. 2
Tayken Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 @OP....obviously with the mention of "brocode", that tells us that you are of a certain age group. I mean of all the girls out there in your town / city, why wouldn't you want to look further afield ?
Andy_K Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 You might be being passed around as "easy" or because of particular "skill" or "talent" in the bedroom you may have acquired...it's not a coincidence. This is particularly common with sports teams... so tread carefully. 1
SincereOnlineGuy Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 What is the Bro code/etiquette for dating a teammate's ex? What? Marilyn never would have dated Yogi anyway
DazedandConfused8 Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 You've done your part by bringing up that you used to date someone on his old sports team. The Bro Code is for men, meaning they (we) are the ones who deal with it. 1
preraph Posted December 30, 2014 Posted December 30, 2014 Hope you didn't send naked pics, naughty texts, etc, or they've probably seen them all and may just be thinking they can get in your pants. I hope I'm wrong. But you should proceed very cautiously and if any of them have a reputation for using women as the elderly use disposable diapers, don't go out with them. On the other hand, if you happen to know one had a long-term thing and doesn't seem like a player, just take it slowly so that if he does think you're easy for some reason, you will prove him wrong by how long it takes him to conquer you. It's not game playing. It's a way to find out what is motivating them and whether you should trust them. I've been involved with as many as 4 guys in one band before on varying levels, over time, which isn't much different. But one thing I know is that it usually wouldn't have happened if someone had a real problem with it, although there was one the band considered verboten sneaking around at my apt one day and two of the others came and took him away like they were the band police. I honest to God think it was to protect me because they knew he had some deeper problems. Around that same time, we had the bad luck of pulling up right beside other band members on our way to an evening of debauchery, and the one I was futily in love with was waiting at my work the next day just to make sure I knew it didn't escape him. Later, when me and the verboten one both broke out with poison ivy at the same time, all hell broke loose and stayed broken loose for years to come. All in all, I considered it one of the most fun (if embarrassing) times in my life, but it could have gone horribly horribly wrong if the timing had been different, and it's generally wiser to limit yourself to one team or band token per lifetime. Above all, we were friends who just all really liked each other. Vines in a hothouse.
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