pepsimax Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Hi This guy and I met at work over two years ago and we became really good friends and stayed in touch even after I left. He is married. His wife doesn't like our friendship and I understand her. He suddenly told me a few months ago that we can't be in touch coz of his wife but he said that it's temporary. It seems like it's not temporary and I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. He was always there for me and suddenly he is gone. My friends and think I need to try speak to him (mission impossible) but I don't know what good it will do. What do you suggest? How to cope with it?
littleblackheart Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Hi This guy and I met at work over two years ago and we became really good friends and stayed in touch even after I left. He is married. His wife doesn't like our friendship and I understand her. He suddenly told me a few months ago that we can't be in touch coz of his wife but he said that it's temporary. It seems like it's not temporary and I am having a hard time coming to terms with it. He was always there for me and suddenly he is gone. My friends and think I need to try speak to him (mission impossible) but I don't know what good it will do. What do you suggest? How to cope with it? I was in this exact same situation a few months ago, only our friendship dated back a lot longer than that (over 10 years) and ended when I became single, just like that. There's absolutely nothing you can do. His marriage comes first, as it should be - he's showing himself to be a good, caring husband; maybe his wife has got good reasons to feel insecure, and it sucks no end to lose a friendship but it's out of your hands. Why anyone would advise you to get in touch with him is a bit strange, IMO. Leave them be. I occasionally get the odd text so I know he's fine, and that's enough for me. You have other friends so chances are you'll cope just fine. C'est la vie
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 If you care about him, you need to respect his wishes of no contact. His wife comes first and you should be supportive of that. Close friendships with married people of opposite sex are a slippery slope and you sound over-invested.
most_distant_galaxy Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 I have a male friend whom I love very much (strictly as a friend). But I haven't seen him for a very long time, ever since he got a new girlfriend. I proposed to meet, the 3 of us, so I can meet this lady and exchange our news. He said he will let me know.. and after some months nothing. Two of my friends think that he wasn't really my friend: when we hanged out all together years ago they both thought that he's into me. So I don't do anything... But if he breaks up and wants to resume the friendship I will preach about how he is a traitor and that friends don't act this way. And then I will pinch his cheeks like nothing happened Some people get very consumed by relationships, especially if they have been single most of their lives. I know how much my friend struggled to find someone, so I'm not really angry.
Tayken Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 If you care about him, you need to respect his wishes of no contact. His wife comes first and you should be supportive of that. Close friendships with married people of opposite sex are a slippery slope and you sound over-invested. Which begs the question...can male and females really just be "friends"?
me85 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 I'm sorry you lost a true friend. Temporarily or otherwise. The only thing to do is leave him be. Meet new friends if you can. You have to respect his wife and his marriage and him since he told you he cannot talk to you anymore.
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