Lightmetoday Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Hey people ! Do you forgive the one who breaks your heart, the one who spoke lies to win your heart & then dumped you saying " oh i am sorry ".. Do you forgive that person ?
Ducktape Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Of course. Holding a grudge is no way to move forward. Forgiving doesn't mean you're willing to go through it all again. It's just that you put it behind you and you don't let resentment consume you. 5
batt Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Eventually, I'll forgive her, I'm not petty like she is. I have resentment for her but wish her the best. I'm done with putting myself through hell for a child. 3
Marco Valerio Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yeap right, you always need to forgive, because it's the best for you!!! Forgiving someone not always means giving them another chance to hurt you. 1
flightplan Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Forgiveness is not something that you do for the other person but for yourself so that you're not carrying around the hurt and anger. Not forgiving can keep you stuck in these emotions and keep you from healing. 3
todreaminblue Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 yes you forgive as you would want to be forgiven...holding a grudge does not make you any happier , not holding a grudge does make you happier..... that is what non forgiveness turns into a.. grudge and the movie says it all...long dark hair dark well dark everything....and a tv that turns on without power...seriously.....the movie has it ... forgiveness is far better.deb 1
Ieris Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I agree with the other members. I think forgiving is also a part of letting go x 2
Nolan 93 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yes I forgave my ex gf leaving me for her ex. Why hold a grudge its their life let them go threw trial and error. I forgave her around the second day of the break up. 1
guest569 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I haven't yet. It's been a year, but no i dont forgive him. 1
welshbambi Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 In my case, I cannot forgive him because his brain is broken, and well, I can't forgive him for that any more than I can forgive someone for having allergies. What I am doing is forgiving myself for not reading the signs all the way through and taking steps to make sure I protected my heart along the way. Yes forgive the ex if circumstances call for it, life is too short to harbour negativity in your soul for people that don't deserve it, but also remember that you need to forgive yourself whenever you try to convince yourself there was something you could have done differently. 3
batt Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 What I am doing is forgiving myself for not reading the signs all the way through and taking steps to make sure I protected my heart along the way. Yes forgive the ex if circumstances call for it, life is too short to harbour negativity in your soul for people that don't deserve it, but also remember that you need to forgive yourself whenever you try to convince yourself there was something you could have done differently. Eventually, I'll forgive, but I couldn't have put it any better. 1
Elle1975 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I'm not sure if some people forget, or if it slowly end up at the bottom of their bad memories, becomes indifference after a while. To me it's not a conscious act of forgiveness, it just becomes disinterest. 3
BC1980 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 You can forgive if it helps you move on. I forgave my ex after over a year because I wanted to be free of the situation, not because I thought what he did was okay. I just needed to move on from it because carrying the hurt around is very difficult. I'm now pretty much indifferent and actually have compassion for him because he's had such a difficult life. Doesn't mean I need to be a part of his dysfunction though 1
Satu Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I forgive because it makes me free and clean inside. 1
Ducktape Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I forgive because it makes me free and clean inside. Forgiving is the green tea of the soul. 2
Satu Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I haven't yet. It's been a year, but no i dont forgive him. Forgiveness is something you do when you reach a point where it feels right. Only you can know when that point has been reached. Some people never reach that point, and I would never judge them for that. Forgiveness is a choice - it isn't compulsory. 4
Satu Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 In time, I just become indifferent. Maybe that is a kind of forgiveness.
EgoJoe Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I'm actively trying to forgive realizing now how truly dysfunctional she was and how I contributed. I cycle back and forth with my own ego. Debating whether to involve a lawyer over stuff held hostage. Over a month NC now with no direct contact and only indirect contact that I can't be sure of.
erklat Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 No I don't forgive. I don't let anger consume me, but I have faith in karma that she will feel not better nor worse - but exactly the same hell she put me through. For the rest - I live by description in my signature. 1
EgoJoe Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 If you were dumped in a civil manner as a result of loss of feelings etc. Whether there was another party involved or not. They are not evil, it's the other crazy stuff that is harder to forgive.
sober and dry Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Forgiveness is for who deserves it, not everybody. I don't really think that you need to forgive your ex's to move on.
BC1980 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 I'm actively trying to forgive realizing now how truly dysfunctional she was and how I contributed. I cycle back and forth with my own ego. Debating whether to involve a lawyer over stuff held hostage. Over a month NC now with no direct contact and only indirect contact that I can't be sure of. For a year, forgiveness wasn't even an option for me. I wasn't even open to the idea. Don't rush the process. A month of NC probably isn't the time to be grappling with the idea of forgiveness, which is one the last steps. 1
BC1980 Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Forgiveness is for who deserves it, not everybody. I don't really think that you need to forgive your ex's to move on. I don't think forgiveness has anything to do with an ex "deserving" it. My forgiveness only had to do with me, and my ex wasn't involved in the process. For me, I forgave the debt because I wanted to me on and I had worked through the grief process to the point that I was ready to move on, not because I thought he deserved it or what he did was okay. Far from it. There's no repayment for what my ex did to me, no way to make it right. The only way to let it go was go forgive it. 1
Ducktape Posted December 29, 2014 Posted December 29, 2014 Forgiveness is for who deserves it, not everybody. I don't really think that you need to forgive your ex's to move on. I've quoted this a few times already, but here it is again. "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" -Buddha It is not a favor you are doing to them when you forgive them. It is a favor to yourself. It has nothing to do with deserving it or not. Whether it is cheating, lies, abuse. Everything is forgivable. It just depends how far you are in the process of healing and moving on. It is normal for you to react that way in the beginning. Your ego doesn't want to give in. But that's your ego talking. 2
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