Supernova31 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 (edited) Ok I'll try and make this short, I was talking to this woman I met online for about a week, we were flirting on the phone like crazy and the other day she messaged me asking if she could come over to mine. Ok so this is the first time we met and this was very very late in the evening so I said sure. So basically during the evening after talking ect we started to cuddle and I went in for a kiss, and she responded positively for about 1min and then she asked me to stop and "behave" myself which I did. So the evening finished with us sharing a kiss goodbye so I'm thinking the night went pretty well. I messaged her sayin" hope she got home ok"and she replied back saying "she hopes she diddnt disappoint me". So I assured her that she diddnt and I enjoyed the evening and I wanted to see her again. Over the few days after i was only getting 1 word reply messages from her so I told her I'd like to see her again and get to know her better and if she felt the same, and she replied saying she does but she felt I was bored of her the other night and I was nervous! Wtf am I missing something here? If anything I thought she was going to say I came on too strong! I know by judging by her one worded messages I should of just walked but I'm not entirely sure what iv done wrong?? Iv been out of this game for a while and I know I'm rusty but I just want to learn from my mistakes. Any advice on what I could of done better will be aprechated. Edited December 28, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Andy_K Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 She invited herself over to your place late at night and all you did was kiss? Ramp up the flirting again and show you're interested. Might not be too late to salvage this one.
Jules Dash Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 This is one of those delicate attraction/interest level things that eventually should convince you to be a bit more aggressive with the flirtatious behavior in the situation you were in. You just have to take the risk. You will find that interest level much higher the following day. Get her back out again and ramp up the heat by the end of the date. There still may be enough interest left here.
Author Supernova31 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 She invited herself over to your place late at night and all you did was kiss? Ramp up the flirting again and show you're interested. Might not be too late to salvage this one. But as we were kissing that's when I thought that was the moment i go in for the kill until she said no, so are you saying I should of tried To be a bit more persistent also how would you go about trying to salvage this if it isn't too late already?
Tina747 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 (edited) I really have to disagree with one of the previous posts that recommended you should have been more aggressive. you said - quote "...and then she asked me to stop and "behave" myself which I did..." If you had pushed further it is possible she could have accused you of sexual assault or something similar. I agree she sent you mixed messages but you really don't know this woman... As for what you could have done different? I would be more careful by getting to know someone in a public place before letting them invite themselves over.... it is a bit of a red flag that this woman invited herself over late at night into a man's home that she never met before in person. Most normal women don't do that.... it sounds pretty weird. Edited December 28, 2014 by Tina747
rocketman122 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I think you did fine and theres no need to "ramp up" anything. keep flirting, kissing, teasing .dont be like the others who goes in for the "kill". show that you have some restraint. build up sexual tension. dont be cold though. for isntance when you kiss her, you stop after a certain amount of time. bite her shoulder a little, nibble/bite her neck lightly. give her a foot massage. manhandle her a bit. pull her in close to you. dont be so attacking but dont be cold. show her confidence, smile and joke with her. show her you want her and not just "lets kiss and Fphcuk" build it up. teasing, a little spanking on the thighs. soft and then a little rough. I love to have my lady with her back to the end of the sofa and her feet across my thighs and im 90º to her so I can pull her close to me with one hand moving from her feet to thigh up and down. dont be boring like the vast majority of men and go "in for the kill" foreplay some and tease her. youre doing fine. just get another date. dont pay attention to the stupid messages. just reply like she never even sent it. women will p**** with you with jedi mind tricks. they try to test you. dont try to decipher. and dont be a mangina. stay focused. the force is strong with you young skywalker..but you are not a jedi yet.. 1
aggie382 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I'm very puzzled too. That definitely wasn't a 'date.' At best it was a failed hookup.
Author Supernova31 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 I think you did fine and theres no need to "ramp up" anything. keep flirting, kissing, teasing .dont be like the others who goes in for the "kill". show that you have some restraint. build up sexual tension. dont be cold though. for isntance when you kiss her, you stop after a certain amount of time. bite her shoulder a little, nibble/bite her neck lightly. give her a foot massage. manhandle her a bit. pull her in close to you. dont be so attacking but dont be cold. show her confidence, smile and joke with her. show her you want her and not just "lets kiss and Fphcuk" build it up. teasing, a little spanking on the thighs. soft and then a little rough. I love to have my lady with her back to the end of the sofa and her feet across my thighs and im 90º to her so I can pull her close to me with one hand moving from her feet to thigh up and down. dont be boring like the vast majority of men and go "in for the kill" foreplay some and tease her. youre doing fine. just get another date. dont pay attention to the stupid messages. just reply like she never even sent it. women will p**** with you with jedi mind tricks. they try to test you. dont try to decipher. and dont be a mangina. stay focused. the force is strong with you young skywalker..but you are not a jedi yet.. Lmaoo ah man thanks dude, that's the funniest thing I heard all week you had me choking on my coffee lol 1
Andy_K Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I really have to disagree with one of the previous posts that recommended you should have been more aggressive. you said - quote "...and then she asked me to stop and "behave" myself which I did..." If you had pushed further it is possible she could have accused you of sexual assault or something similar. I agree she sent you mixed messages but you really don't know this woman... Context is key. If she says stop then of course he stops... but that doesn't mean he can't start again five minutes later. Or show some reluctance to stop, or switch to flirting instead. It sounds to me like she wants the "We shouldn't be doing this... but it just sort of happened, we couldn't help ourselves" scenario. For that to happen he has to know the game and play his part too. It's not about ignoring her wishes or being aggressive in any way.
Author Supernova31 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 Context is key. If she says stop then of course he stops... but that doesn't mean he can't start again five minutes later. Or show some reluctance to stop, or switch to flirting instead. It sounds to me like she wants the "We shouldn't be doing this... but it just sort of happened, we couldn't help ourselves" scenario. For that to happen he has to know the game and play his part too. It's not about ignoring her wishes or being aggressive in any way. Yea I totally agree with the senario now when thinking about it, but if she says no but deep down she wants it isn't she suppose to say it in a flirtatious way as I diddnt really get that vibe off her?
Jules Dash Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Context is key. If she says stop then of course he stops... but that doesn't mean he can't start again five minutes later. Or show some reluctance to stop, or switch to flirting instead. It sounds to me like she wants the "We shouldn't be doing this... but it just sort of happened, we couldn't help ourselves" scenario. For that to happen he has to know the game and play his part too. It's not about ignoring her wishes or being aggressive in any way. This was essentially the point I was making. The word "aggressive" does not necessarily mean force yourself physically on a person. It can simply mean not giving up easily in certain context. This sounds like one of those situations. Her telling you to stop and behave yourself probably didn"t mean you should have stopped touching her for the rest of the night in any shape or form and no more flirtatious behavior. Sometimes women don't want to seem like they are easy or sluts so you have to know how to play the game in those situations. It can be sort of like a playful tug of war situation. 1
Jules Dash Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yea I totally agree with the senario now when thinking about it, but if she says no but deep down she wants it isn't she suppose to say it in a flirtatious way as I diddnt really get that vibe off her? You have to read them and if you felt like she didnt give you the vibe to continue then there wasn't much more you could have done. Otherwise testing the water with kisses on the neck really helps. If you get a good vibe from that, you can branch out from there. What often works in those situations is just stop for a few minutes and circle back around with more flirtatious behavior, kissing, rubbing, and breaking down any barriers gradually over the night or next several minutes. If you get anything like a playful push away or "stop it you naughty boy" back off for a minute, offer a glass or water or snack and just circle back around in a few minutes.
GemmaUK Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Actions speak louder than words. In this situation (I would never meet a man at his place late at night btw - but my ex lodger did with numerous men) she was after a hook up. You had flirted enough to get her in the mood and she expected to be ravished - even when she said 'behave'. She came over for sex. She now thinks you were not interested. But..this was not a date. 1
Author Supernova31 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 Actions speak louder than words. In this situation (I would never meet a man at his place late at night btw - but my ex lodger did with numerous men) she was after a hook up. You had flirted enough to get her in the mood and she expected to be ravished - even when she said 'behave'. She came over for sex. She now thinks you were not interested. But..this was not a date. Lol ok I agree date was the wrong word to use
writergal Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 She sounds like a major game player to me. She invites herself over to your place late at night, and then rejects you when you correctly respond to her signals to "go in for the kill" (i.e. she's kissing you so she obviously is attracted to you). Then she sends you mixed messages after you text her to tell her you had fun and want to see her again? I hate mixed messages. Only manipulative, insecure people send mixed messages. People who know what they want are straightforward about it. If she wanted to go out with you again, she would have simply responded with a "yes that sounds great, I'm free on this date at this time etc." and you'd have a second date set up already. Avoid this woman like the plague my friend. She sounds like trouble with a capital "T" that rhymes with P that stands for pool (great musical, but I digress). If she had good boundaries (clearly she doesn't if she invites herself over to a man's place late at night whom she doesn't even know), she would have let you set up a proper date for the two of you out in some public place. I deleted my online dating profile last week and have been so much happier. I can't stand all the game playing and mixed messages that goes along with online dating. Give me organic dating or give me death (ok, not death but maybe something painful like Shingles instead)! 2
Author Supernova31 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 She sounds like a major game player to me. She invites herself over to your place late at night, and then rejects you when you correctly respond to her signals to "go in for the kill" (i.e. she's kissing you so she obviously is attracted to you). Then she sends you mixed messages after you text her to tell her you had fun and want to see her again? I hate mixed messages. Only manipulative, insecure people send mixed messages. People who know what they want are straightforward about it. If she wanted to go out with you again, she would have simply responded with a "yes that sounds great, I'm free on this date at this time etc." and you'd have a second date set up already. Avoid this woman like the plague my friend. She sounds like trouble with a capital "T" that rhymes with P that stands for pool (great musical, but I digress). If she had good boundaries (clearly she doesn't if she invites herself over to a man's place late at night whom she doesn't even know), she would have let you set up a proper date for the two of you out in some public place. I deleted my online dating profile last week and have been so much happier. I can't stand all the game playing and mixed messages that goes along with online dating. Give me organic dating or give me death (ok, not death but maybe something painful like Shingles instead)! Haha be careful what you wish for!! Thank you for your comment, gosh at least you guys got me smiling again 1
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