Atticus9292012 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I am divorced and my ex husband and I had a pretty big group of friends. As I guess is typical, some friends kind of chose sides. My ex is a policeman and police typically hang out with each other. He cheated on me and did a plethora of other really crappy things so I guess the lion share of those mutual friends stayed closer to me. I haven't divulged the details of our split to too many people outside of my closests friends ....but my ex was very public in his indiscretions and it was humilating... so everyone figured it out without me saying a word. Well, I used to run with a group of police people when I was married and there is a guy that I had met a few times who ran with us. I went to two parties at a friends house this weekend and ran into him. He rememberes meeting me and we spent a lot of time talking. We've spoken some outside of the parties too. Definitely seems to be some mutual interest there. He found me and added me on Facebook. Well, I realized when he added me he has a lot of pictures with my ex's best friend (who despises me). I bet he hangs out with my ex husband. Is this guy off limits as far as any romantic relationship? I have never dated an ex's friend. It's too soon to know if this is going anywhere, but I just kind of wonder if I should even waste my time.
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I don't know that he's "off limits" but I could see where blips might arise especially if him & your EX end up needed to back each other up in a dangerous situation. Also, while not all stereotypes are true, there is a perceived culture among law enforcement, & cheating is not all that uncommon. Are you sure you want to go down that path again?
SomeDude16 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Not off limits at all. He is the one risking his friendships not you. If he's interested enough to be willing to take that risk, that's his decision. The whole job thing really is not an issue. Law enforcement above all preaches professionalism. They may not end up drinking buddies on the weekend but his work won't be affected.
Jules Dash Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I think the real question here is not if he is off limits but is he even worth pursuing? 1
toscaroscura Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Was he one of the many who turned a blind eye to your humiliation?
Author Atticus9292012 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 I don't know that he's "off limits" but I could see where blips might arise especially if him & your EX end up needed to back each other up in a dangerous situation. Also, while not all stereotypes are true, there is a perceived culture among law enforcement, & cheating is not all that uncommon. Are you sure you want to go down that path again? That is definitely why I have been avoiding dating LEOs up until this point. Cheating is accepted and that lifestyle is simply just hard. I really would like to get to know him better and see more what he is about, but the people i still socialize with from that world are not accepting of cheating and i think that is why they don't interact with my ex anymore.
Author Atticus9292012 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 Was he one of the many who turned a blind eye to your humiliation? I dont think so. When I met him before he wasn't close friends with my ex's best friend. My ex's bestie is a female officer and she and I had a frienship at one time and she and I ran wih the police folks. . They all know each other from work and it was just kind of idle chit chat before runs and 5ks. I didnt realize they were hanging out until he added me on facebook. She apparently has a boyfriend so it's not romantic. This weekend he wasnt sure where he knew me from until i realized it was from running and it was like "ah-hah."
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 That is definitely why I have been avoiding dating LEOs up until this point. Cheating is accepted and that lifestyle is simply just hard. I really would like to get to know him better and see more what he is about, but the people i still socialize with from that world are not accepting of cheating and i think that is why they don't interact with my ex anymore. Well if the core group that are still your friends do not tolerate cheating, then perhaps you should get to know him better. What have you got to lose by talking to him?
Author Atticus9292012 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 Yes he is a policeman. You would think after my ex husband I'd never do that again! Ha...but they're not all bad.
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