flowerpower1 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 So I've posted here several times before and I've been doing really well since my last post and taken all your advice. I went full NC for about 3 weeks, ignoring all his phone calls and pleas to talk/meet and feel good. Christmas Eve though his mum text me, asking if I would meet him as he was such a state and in complete denial about us being over (even though he broke up with me for someone else!). I reluctantly agreed but told her to clarify it did not mean I wanted to get back together. So I text him yesterday to say we should meet tomorrow and he replied that he didn't know what his plans were, he might be busy, we could never fix this etc etc and didn't reply when I asked him if we were going to meet or not. I wasn't upset, just annoyed at his complete lack of manners. I then found out today he is still talking the girl he left me for (she's now his snapchat best friend) - even though he has been begging to talk to me and see me. I don't really understand what's going on, or really care, but it's making it hard for me to move on. Does anybody have any advice as to how to help myself get over it. I don't sit around and cry, I'm not even really upset, I just really struggle to not really think about it. Thank you!
erklat Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 You seem to have the upper hand here. Do you want to worktthings out with him? 1
evanescentworld Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 So I've posted here several times before and I've been doing really well since my last post and taken all your advice. I went full NC for about 3 weeks, ignoring all his phone calls and pleas to talk/meet and feel good. Christmas Eve though his mum text me, asking if I would meet him as he was such a state and in complete denial about us being over (even though he broke up with me for someone else!). I reluctantly agreed but told her to clarify it did not mean I wanted to get back together. So I text him yesterday to say we should meet tomorrow and he replied that he didn't know what his plans were, he might be busy, we could never fix this etc etc and didn't reply when I asked him if we were going to meet or not. I wasn't upset, just annoyed at his complete lack of manners. I then found out today he is still talking the girl he left me for (she's now his snapchat best friend) - even though he has been begging to talk to me and see me. I don't really understand what's going on, or really care, but it's making it hard for me to move on. Does anybody have any advice as to how to help myself get over it. I don't sit around and cry, I'm not even really upset, I just really struggle to not really think about it. Thank you! Read the No Contact Guide. No Contact means No Contact. And that goes for close family members, too. You were foolish, quite honestly, to even agree to meet him. Your mistake was in saying 'Ok'. (I suspect mom was playing matchmaker here.... ) You really should have stuck to your guns and refused all suggestions point-blank. Ok, so, start again. No Contact, Day 1..... Right across the board.
Author flowerpower1 Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 Thanks for the help guys, talking to you makes things much better! Erklat: I feel like I don't have the upper hand though, as it feels that he's playing me while talking to this other girl still. Evanescentworld: I'm going NC again anyway, and know I can do it, but am struggling with thinking about the situation a lot. Will successful NC help stop this too?
evanescentworld Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 The more you think, the more (you must realise) you are leaving your mind open for the invasion of unwanted thoughts which sadly, you prompt. Find a distraction. Do something for yourself. Create something which requires precision: Paper chains, stars, decorative angels.... anything which needs dedicated focused attention. When you think about something, you are giving outside influences permission to disrupt your mind-set and calm state. But yes. Go total NC, and worry about YOU. Don't worry about HIM.
dumbass2 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yes, go back on strict NC and that gives you the upper hand. Just so you learn from this, the reply to the mum should have been something like "I am open to talk if he wants to text or call me". With the mum texting you, you just don't truly know where he's at. You need only to respond when something of substance comes directly from the ex. Don't ever go off of what friends and family say.
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