Leigh 87 Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 I hate to be blunt, but you seem a little desperate. You shouldn't care what he had to do last night! He left you waiting in his car for what HE thought would be hours! A man who gave a damn about you would NEVER do that. If this man you speak of - if he met a woman he saw as relationship material and he was excited about her, he would NOT have left her waiting in a car! He did it to YOU because he was never that into you and he is treating you like a woman who he just doesn't care much about! Why are you left wondering about the actions of a man who is so clearly NOT that into you?! Why don't you better yourself and figure out why you have trouble finding men that are into you? You said you never get second dates so I am trying to urge you to better yourself; you can then avoiding clinging to any man that does give you attention. If you make yourself more desirable and a better version of yourself, you can work on attracting a bigger pool of men so that you don't care about the men who don't like you very much. What this man went to do is irrelevant! You just shouldn't give a damn! Any woman with self respect would delete block and never bother thinking about his actions again!
thecrucible Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Thanks for your advice. However it's a little late for this situation. We met on POF and he was looking for a relationship and I asked again on a date and he said he was looking for a relationship. I guess you haven't read my latest posts. He is really shady, deceitful and liar. I think he's a drug dealer and we're done. What do you think he was doing last night in your opinion? I'm on POF too. It sucks in a way - all guys are going to say they want a relationship because no guy is going to all out say that he is really is just looking for something semi-serious or something for fun. You have to see what they say in person. And yes you're right, he sounds shady. But I don't think you should concern yourself with what illegal activities he might have been up to. Don't waste more thought on him.
Author GH101 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 I hate to be blunt, but you seem a little desperate. You shouldn't care what he had to do last night! He left you waiting in his car for what HE thought would be hours! A man who gave a damn about you would NEVER do that. If this man you speak of - if he met a woman he saw as relationship material and he was excited about her, he would NOT have left her waiting in a car! He did it to YOU because he was never that into you and he is treating you like a woman who he just doesn't care much about! Why are you left wondering about the actions of a man who is so clearly NOT that into you?! Why don't you better yourself and figure out why you have trouble finding men that are into you? You said you never get second dates so I am trying to urge you to better yourself; you can then avoiding clinging to any man that does give you attention. If you make yourself more desirable and a better version of yourself, you can work on attracting a bigger pool of men so that you don't care about the men who don't like you very much. What this man went to do is irrelevant! You just shouldn't give a damn! Any woman with self respect would delete block and never bother thinking about his actions again! I'm not asking what he was doing out of concern. I know he is a deceiving, lying person and I'm not seeing him again. I just wanted to ask people what they thought he did. I don't have experience in shady stuff, so I just was wondering what this was all about.
thecrucible Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 You shouldn't care what he had to do last night! He left you waiting in his car for what HE thought would be hours! That's a good point there. If a guy cared, he wouldn't want you to freak out and scare you off. He'd be on his best behaviour because he wouldn't want to let you go. The way he is treating you is like he is expecting you to stick around however he acts. He feels he can get away with treating you like that. That is disrespectful. Does he act really suave/confident around you? If he does, don't get overawed by that. Sometimes the more confident they act, the less they actually like you. Think about how you yourself might act if you don't hold much interest in someone.
Author GH101 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 I'm on POF too. It sucks in a way - all guys are going to say they want a relationship because no guy is going to all out say that he is really is just looking for something semi-serious or something for fun. You have to see what they say in person. And yes you're right, he sounds shady. But I don't think you should concern yourself with what illegal activities he might have been up to. Don't waste more thought on him. Yea, obviously it was illegal, I was just curious what others thought. Have you had any luck on POF? Do you get first or second dates from the site?
Author GH101 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 That's a good point there. If a guy cared, he wouldn't want you to freak out and scare you off. He'd be on his best behaviour because he wouldn't want to let you go. The way he is treating you is like he is expecting you to stick around however he acts. He feels he can get away with treating you like that. That is disrespectful. Does he act really suave/confident around you? If he does, don't get overawed by that. Sometimes the more confident they act, the less they actually like you. Think about how you yourself might act if you don't hold much interest in someone. Again, I wasn't asking out of concern or wondering if he likes me. I just wanted to see what others thought he might be up to. I'm done with him. He is disrespectful and obviously up to illegal stuff
thecrucible Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Yea, obviously it was illegal, I was just curious what others thought. Have you had any luck on POF? Do you get first or second dates from the site? I understand what you're saying. All I meant was, it shouldn't matter to you what he is getting up to 'cause he is toast I don't really like POF. I do get first and second dates from it. I just bail on conversations which aren't really going anywhere and I'm choosy about who I reply to (just go with my gut and what their message looks like). But sometimes a guy can write thoughtful lengthy messages and still end up only wanting sex from you when you do meet. I dated a guy from POF but bailed on him after the 3rd date as I became uncomfortable with his tone and advances. I almost always get second dates from guys but then after that, one of us will bail due to lack of interest or something. If it gets past the 3rd date, I usually want to make a go of things so that's the cut off point for making a decision I think.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Again, I wasn't asking out of concern or wondering if he likes me. I just wanted to see what others thought he might be up to. I'm done with him. He is disrespectful and obviously up to illegal stuff Sounds like a drug run. 1
morrowrd Posted January 19, 2015 Posted January 19, 2015 Both of you are bored, so the relationship serves a purpose. There's no spark for either of you, there's no real plan or purpose to do anything other than suck up time that you would be alone hanging out by yourselves. If you don't mind doing that, fine. However, if you want more, you're going to have to dump him and get back out there. Honestly, I don't think it will affect him one way or another if you do decide to leave. He doesn't care about you. You were smart not to sleep with him. All that would have been was just something to do, not because he loved you or anything. I liken this relationship to a dead end job at McD's. You need a job, this one is better than nothing, but there ARE other jobs out there if you take the effort and go fill out a few applications. Why don't you do that?
Author GH101 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 I understand what you're saying. All I meant was, it shouldn't matter to you what he is getting up to 'cause he is toast I don't really like POF. I do get first and second dates from it. I just bail on conversations which aren't really going anywhere and I'm choosy about who I reply to (just go with my gut and what their message looks like). But sometimes a guy can write thoughtful lengthy messages and still end up only wanting sex from you when you do meet. I dated a guy from POF but bailed on him after the 3rd date as I became uncomfortable with his tone and advances. I almost always get second dates from guys but then after that, one of us will bail due to lack of interest or something. If it gets past the 3rd date, I usually want to make a go of things so that's the cut off point for making a decision I think. Yea, I know it doesn't matter now, just wanted to read what ppl thought. Do you mind telling me what you talk to the guys about on POF? Like what do you ask them or tell them? Do you ever ask guys ask?
Author GH101 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 Sounds like a drug run. Yea, I guess. Either he was buying or selling
Author GH101 Posted January 19, 2015 Author Posted January 19, 2015 Both of you are bored, so the relationship serves a purpose. There's no spark for either of you, there's no real plan or purpose to do anything other than suck up time that you would be alone hanging out by yourselves. If you don't mind doing that, fine. However, if you want more, you're going to have to dump him and get back out there. Honestly, I don't think it will affect him one way or another if you do decide to leave. He doesn't care about you. You were smart not to sleep with him. All that would have been was just something to do, not because he loved you or anything. I liken this relationship to a dead end job at McD's. You need a job, this one is better than nothing, but there ARE other jobs out there if you take the effort and go fill out a few applications. Thanks for your advice and input. However it's a little late for this situation. I guess you haven't read my latest posts. I would have been fine casually dating, but he always acted like it was more on the date by talking about trips and saying we're in a serious relationship. He is a really shady, deceitful liar. I think he's a drug dealer and we're done. What do you think he was doing last night in your opinion? You make getting a job and a guy sound so easy. I can't get retail or fast food jobs and I can't get a guy to casually date me. I have applied to a bunch of jobs and I message guys on dating sites all the time. I have been out with 36 guys and they either didn't like me or were nuts.
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