Author Cakess Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 What's the difference? You're single right now, you just can't see it. Ouch...but I guess that's true. It really feels like I am a game to him and it never used to be that way. Just last night he calls at 12:30am all 'baby' and 'i love you' but never says he wants to see me. I think that if he doesn't make any attempt to visit me before he leaves for training again then I will just stop trying and move on.
elaine567 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Ouch...but I guess that's true. It really feels like I am a game to him and it never used to be that way. Just last night he calls at 12:30am all 'baby' and 'i love you' but never says he wants to see me. I think that if he doesn't make any attempt to visit me before he leaves for training again then I will just stop trying and move on. Stop trying anyway - you have spent the holiday season without your so-called bf. He is at home and he hasn't spent one minute with you???? What sort of relationship is that? His 12:30 booty call does not a relationship make. Calling you "baby", is not love, he just avoided getting your name wrong... 1
somedude81 Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I am 19 and he is 20. I don't like the thought of being alone but only because I can't be with HIM, if that makes sense. I don't want just anybody. And even though sometimes I want to break up he'll make this grand gesture of showing up with jewelry or taking me out or writing me romantic letters while he's away and it pulls me right back in. I don't want to leave him but I also hate feeling single when I'm supposed to be in a relationship. Ouch...but I guess that's true. It really feels like I am a game to him and it never used to be that way. Just last night he calls at 12:30am all 'baby' and 'i love you' but never says he wants to see me. I think that if he doesn't make any attempt to visit me before he leaves for training again then I will just stop trying and move on. It sounds like the doesn't want you, but he doesn't want anybody else to have you either. Yeah it's a game to him. 2
preraph Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 It sounds to me like this has ran its course. He's been gone and now when he comes back, he's been back one and a half weeks without bothering to see you. That does not sound like a relationship to me. To me, it sounds like you nag so much that he's afraid what you'll do when he breaks up with you, which is cowardly. But I think that's where you're headed. Even if that is not the case and he is just not in any hurry to see you but is okay staying with you and settling down some day, why on earth would you want that? I don't criticize him for not communicating daily like you want to. I think that's childish. But it's pretty clear you want more and aren't getting it, so I can't imagine why you fancy yourself so in love, because he doesn't sound very loving.
Maleficent Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Have you talked to him about it? To you, it's important to communicate every day and perhaps he is showing you his love in different ways and he is frustrated because you are not seeing it and insist on talking every day (which probably annoys him). To be honest, I laughed at The 5 Love Languages until I actually read it. Made so much sense. That being said, you have been together three years. Maybe it is time to ask yourself if you are still together because it's convenient or because you want to be together. If you do want to be together, both of you are going to have to work at it - in the current situation, it means you are going to have to accept he may not want to text/talk/chat for hours every day and he is going to have to make a little effort to contact you a little more than he normally does. Relationships are not one way things. Everyone gets to do stuff they don't like lol
Author Cakess Posted December 28, 2014 Author Posted December 28, 2014 Have you talked to him about it? To you, it's important to communicate every day and perhaps he is showing you his love in different ways and he is frustrated because you are not seeing it and insist on talking every day (which probably annoys him). To be honest, I laughed at The 5 Love Languages until I actually read it. Made so much sense. That being said, you have been together three years. Maybe it is time to ask yourself if you are still together because it's convenient or because you want to be together. If you do want to be together, both of you are going to have to work at it - in the current situation, it means you are going to have to accept he may not want to text/talk/chat for hours every day and he is going to have to make a little effort to contact you a little more than he normally does. Relationships are not one way things. Everyone gets to do stuff they don't like lol We have talked about it once before after we got back together when we broke up in the beginning of the summer. During that time he was ALWAYS texting me, calling me, attempting to see me and we spent almost a whole week together and it was great. I told him that I don't mind that he is busy with his life because to be honest I also have my own things to focus on as well. All I ask is that he makes the effort to call me sometime during the day, or take a minute to send a text and check in like I do since we are not the kind of couple who sees each other everyday. We can't even see each other regularly because of his profession. I don't see how that's nagging?? He used to be able to do that, but now not anymore...
ExpatInItaly Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 We have talked about it once before after we got back together when we broke up in the beginning of the summer. During that time he was ALWAYS texting me, calling me, attempting to see me and we spent almost a whole week together and it was great. I told him that I don't mind that he is busy with his life because to be honest I also have my own things to focus on as well. All I ask is that he makes the effort to call me sometime during the day, or take a minute to send a text and check in like I do since we are not the kind of couple who sees each other everyday. We can't even see each other regularly because of his profession. I don't see how that's nagging?? He used to be able to do that, but now not anymore... And what does that indicate about this level of interest, OP? I don't mean to be harsh because I know it's painful, but he's just not as into you as you are him. Actions speak louder than words.
Winterina Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 When you get a bit older, as right now you are just a young girl, a teen, you will see that being able to talk your true feelings with someone and knowing you will not be dumped or blamed for it, is what makes a relationship workable. Honest communication is the most important ingredient. He is also young and almost no guy at the age of 20 is planning to settle down. Break up now or end up being broken up with later. I do not see any real interest from his side. Only when you break up with him... which indicates a child who wants a toy only when he cannot have it. Leave him now and stick to it, don't fall for his stuff after that... you will find a guy that you are more comfortable with and better matched with. You have plenty of time. Instead of wasting your time waiting around for him and being ignored, open yourself up to new experiences and you will get over him soon enough. 1
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