amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Kyta you actually asked your wife "would you fck you?" Good thing you didn't marry me because I'd tell you I do...every day...as soon as your mean ass leaves the house 3
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 My marriage should have been pure bliss according to this theory. Too bad I was so thin because I was stressed out from being in a crappy marriage. And belly fat on men makes their dick shrink...so there goes that theory too. Unless a woman enjoys being sweaty belly flopped by a little weiny trying to fit it in when it's hiding behind the big belly. And what does a muffin top and big @$$ do to a female.....make the hole disappear? If your girlfriend gains 100 lbs and doesn't care about her appearance any, you won't be inspired to show her that attention she wants. That said, both sexes are guilty after marriage in some instances of letting themselves go because they figure we are married now, so am good to go so to speak.
newmoon Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 countless studies show that a majority of men want physical attractiveness as the #1 thing in a partner and women are more apt to go for status/money. not surprising at all, although i don't think thin = happiness, it is whatever level of fitness the guy meets the woman at. a woman should take care of herself, whatever that self may be, because if she was 'chosen' by her man it was likely for her appearance. letting her looks go will hurt the marriage/relationship no matter how PC it is to say 'love someone no matter how they look.' that is why haircuts, changes in dress, changes in weight, etc. really affect relationships.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 And what does a muffin top and big @$$ do to a female.....make the hole disappear? I don't know...look it up yourself. As for what I posted, I already have. How to grow your dick bigger naturally
CALOVELY Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Forgive me if this has already been said, I think that when a person is fit and active they themselves are happier. Feeling good about oneself boosts confidence and your overall outlook on life. It is not surprising that that would carry over in to a relationship. 5
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Forgive me if this has already been said, I think that when a person is fit and active they themselves are happier. Feeling good about oneself boosts confidence and your overall outlook on life. It is not surprising that that would carry over in to a relationship. You know it....having the body of a god (small G) at age 40 plus without even going to the gym, and able to complete a full marathon (done 95 including ultras) in under 3hrs is a good thing A Xmas day booty call said to me in the middle of it.."you have a nice body and skin". I said to her, that is what Dove soap does to you
autumnnight Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Generally speaking, men are visual. Of course they want their SO to be pleasant to look at. If a woman makes herself attractive to catch the man and then doesn't care once she has him, in my mind that's almost deceptive. Yes, our bodies change, but outside of some major medical issue, 30 minutes a day of real activity, paying attention to what you eat, and drinking water will maintain a naturally fit body fairly well. It's not that hard. 2
RedRobin Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Additionally @ OP.....Apparently skinny women make more money too. Skinny Women Make More Money?But Skinny Guys Make Less here are some facts for you Many loving, sweet, kind women are overlooked because they don't fit your rigid standards of beauty. I encourage you to check out the following facts and figures: There are 3 billion women who don't look like supermodels and only a handful who do. Marilyn Monroe wore a size 14. If Barbie were a real woman, she'd have to walk on all fours due to her exaggerated proportions. The average woman weighs 144 lb. and wears between a size 12 and 14. The models in the magazines are airbrushed — not perfect! A psychological study in 1995 found that three minutes spent looking at a fashion magazine caused 70% of women readers to feel depressed, guilty and shameful. Models twenty years ago weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today they weigh 23% less. I own a vintage dress made by Marilyn Monroe's designer. It is a size 10 and I barely fit into it. I seem to recall she was a size 12. Anyone who sews their own clothes and wears clothing from that period knows that a size 12 is a 25 inch waist or so. These days, I wear a zero or size 2. Crazy. In Marilyn's day, women my size were average. Now I am a 'waif' http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HG9lhPl1X_0/U70X1EULyuI/AAAAAAAAD9s/rAb7WBf3NAQ/s1600/sizing+changes.jpg As for my partners, I have made it clear that if they let themselves go, I won't be attracted to them anymore. Call me shallow, but I have weighed the same, give or take 5 to 10 lbs... Since I was in high school. Barring some major illness, I see no reason for either gender to let themselves go. I am visual too, plus I need a man who wants to live a healthy lifestyle. Not a couch potato 4
ktya Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Kyta you actually asked your wife "would you fck you?" Good thing you didn't marry me because I'd tell you I do...every day...as soon as your mean ass leaves the house For the price i paid to carry that woman, i could have hired 8 escorts a month, and not lived in a filthy disaster zone of her making. There comes a time when a girl has to stop btchng and do something about it.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 For the price i paid to carry that woman, i could have hired 8 escorts a month, and not lived in a filthy disaster zone of her making. There comes a time when a girl has to stop btchng and do something about it. Yea...did you ever think that maybe you being mean only contributed to her feelings of self-loathing and lack of motivation? Never underestimate the power of acceptance and being loved for who you are.
No Limit Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 If so many people think this, why aren't more folk upfront with partners about the importance of staying attractive? A while ago when my mom was annoying me with marriage-talk she actually mentioned it. In her case, she never felt the need to drop the effort for my father, never wanted to either. She always wanted to look attractive for him and for herself (of course not to the point to starve herself during pregnancy or whatever the crazy insecure people do these days). Personally, I don't understand it either. But suit yourself I guess.
sweetjasmine Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Did no one actually read the article? Or the abstract for the study? The author says: "The great take-home message from our study is that women of any size can be happy in their relationships with the right partner. It's relative weight that matters, not absolute weight. It's not that they have to be small." Abstract: Body weight plays a significant role in attraction and relationship formation, but does it continue to shape more established relationships? The current 4-year longitudinal study of 169 newlywed couples addressed this question by examining the implications of own and partner body mass index (BMI) for the trajectory of marital satisfaction. In contrast to findings from studies of attraction and mate selection, own and partner BMI demonstrated inconsistent effects on the trajectory of satisfaction. However, consistent with predictions derived from interdependence theory, normative resource theories, and evolutionary perspectives, husbands were more satisfied initially and wives were more satisfied over time to the extent that wives had lower BMIs than their husbands, controlling for depression, income, education, and whether the relationship ended in divorce. These findings suggest that a dyadic perspective may be more appropriate than an individual one for understanding how partners' qualities shape established relationships such as marriage. 2
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I own a vintage dress made by Marilyn Monroe's designer. It is a size 10 and I barely fit into it. I seem to recall she was a size 12. Anyone who sews their own clothes and wears clothing from that period knows that a size 12 is a 25 inch waist or so. These days, I wear a zero or size 2. Crazy. In Marilyn's day, women my size were average. Now I am a 'waif' http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HG9lhPl1X_0/U70X1EULyuI/AAAAAAAAD9s/rAb7WBf3NAQ/s1600/sizing+changes.jpg As for my partners, I have made it clear that if they let themselves go, I won't be attracted to them anymore. Call me shallow, but I have weighed the same, give or take 5 to 10 lbs... Since I was in high school. Barring some major illness, I see no reason for either gender to let themselves go. I am visual too, plus I need a man who wants to live a healthy lifestyle. Not a couch potato Thanks for the stuff about Marilyn, personally I couldn't give 2 hoots about her. The part about her is only a miniscule part of my post
ktya Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yea...did you ever think that maybe you being mean only contributed to her feelings of self-loathing and lack of motivation? Never underestimate the power of acceptance and being loved for who you are. Yea. Paying $900-1200 a month excluding shelter to carry a woman who wanted to be a stay at home mom but didnt read the job description. I taught the kid how to read did all the discipline, cooking, walked the kid to school half the time because she slept through her alarm, did virtually all the cleaning, cooking, and worked full time. I endured a quarter milion fruit flies in my house which i never have had before and have never had since she left. Least she could have done was make herself look hot enough to make all that worth it. Wasnt much left to love, who she was? A hoarder and a pig and a fkn leech and certainly didnt want her taking her clothes off in the light. (hairy legs yuck she needed a weeks notice to go swimming to deal with it). But i suppose that bald, greasy scuzzy looking guy you saw at the mall last week could use some lovin "just for who he is" too. Maybe your future husband? Jk. Seriously girl.
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Least she could have done was make herself look hot enough to make all that worth it. Nah...I guess that is just asking too much of you A hoarder and a pig and a fkn leech and certainly didnt want her taking her clothes off in the light. argh...I can't stand hoarders / clutter folks, it does my head in Whenever a woman insists on having the light off, that is always a red flag.
CALOVELY Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yea...did you ever think that maybe you being mean only contributed to her feelings of self-loathing and lack of motivation? Never underestimate the power of acceptance and being loved for who you are. It is difficult to love someone who does not love themselves. At some point you have to cut them lose to save yourself. While his posts do seem harsh, I understand where he is coming from. His ex-wife did not lose her ability to move due to illness or accident, she willingly decided to change a major part of herself and expected him to deal with it. How is that acceptable?
Tayken Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 she willingly decided to change a major part of herself and expected him to deal with it. How is that acceptable? Dam good question...I anticipate a rational answer, but then I won't hold my breathe
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 It is difficult to love someone who does not love themselves. At some point you have to cut them lose to save yourself. While his posts do seem harsh, I understand where he is coming from. His ex-wife did not lose her ability to move due to illness or accident, she willingly decided to change a major part of herself and expected him to deal with it. How is that acceptable? That's what I'm getting from his last post. But it didn't just happen one day that he woke up to a sloth. I wonder what happened back in the early days when he was trying to control her from drinking soda with sugar in it. I don't know. I wasn't there.
CALOVELY Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 That's what I'm getting from his last post. But it didn't just happen one day that he woke up to a sloth. I wonder what happened back in the early days when he was trying to control her from drinking soda with sugar in it. I don't know. I wasn't there. I do not know how someone can change so drastically in a short period of time either but she was still responsible for her choices. 1
littleblackheart Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Yea. Paying $900-1200 a month excluding shelter to carry a woman who wanted to be a stay at home mom but didnt read the job description. I taught the kid how to read did all the discipline, cooking, walked the kid to school half the time because she slept through her alarm, did virtually all the cleaning, cooking, and worked full time. I endured a quarter milion fruit flies in my house which i never have had before and have never had since she left. Least she could have done was make herself look hot enough to make all that worth it. Wasnt much left to love, who she was? A hoarder and a pig and a fkn leech and certainly didnt want her taking her clothes off in the light. (hairy legs yuck she needed a weeks notice to go swimming to deal with it). But i suppose that bald, greasy scuzzy looking guy you saw at the mall last week could use some lovin "just for who he is" too. Maybe your future husband? Jk. Seriously girl. Come on mate, I'm sure you're a really nice guy and everything but please re-read your post and please think about sparing her feelings a little bit: even if it's all true, divulging these graphic details with such a level of disgust and contempt is not classy.
amaysngrace Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I do not know how someone can change so drastically in a short period of time either but she was still responsible for her choices. I agree but him saying mean things to her could not have helped any. Did he just wake up one day and become mean? That's not likely according to the same words you've just chosen to apply to her. It takes two to make or break a marriage. Frankly I'm tired of one person putting it all on the other person who isn't here to defend themselves while they profess to be the perfect spouse. That's just not reality. Nobody's perfect. 1
autumnnight Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I do not know how someone can change so drastically in a short period of time either but she was still responsible for her choices. Exactly. If she responded to unhappiness by cheating no one would defend it (and they shouldn't) but when a woman chooses to live in filth, blow up like a balloon, or withhold sex, we are quick to defend her and deflect blame toward the man. E choose our actions, even the unhealthy ones. 1
littleblackheart Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 (edited) I do not know how someone can change so drastically in a short period of time either but she was still responsible for her choices. Depression, mostly. Either way, there must be better ways to express it that than his cringefest of a tirade. Edited December 28, 2014 by littleblackheart
CALOVELY Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I agree but him saying mean things to her could not have helped any. Did he just wake up one day and become mean? That's not likely according to the same words you've just chosen to apply to her. It takes two to make or break a marriage. Frankly I'm tired of one person putting it all on the other person who isn't here to defend themselves while they profess to be the perfect spouse. That's just not reality. Nobody's perfect. I did not say I was "putting it all" on her. She was responsible for her lifestyle choices. Nobody forced her to eat and be sedentary against her will. Yes, relationships take two to make it or break it. I take everything I read here with a grain of salt. People tend to paint themselves in the most favourable light. In reality, rarely is it one sided. Both contribute to the success or breakdown of a marriage.
gaius Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I dated one woman who wasn't obese but she wasn't where she wanted to be weight wise. And I knew it wasn't going to last. =/ Not because I didn't find her attractive, I did and the sex was amazing but she was so unhappy about her weight, and when you date someone like that they eventually start associating you with their unhappiness. Which never works out well. You gotta find a woman who's happy with herself and that's way more likely when she's thin and in good shape. 3
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