E-Squared Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I have heard the appeal of "bad boys," which I can see why in some cases women are drawn to them. However, I wonder what exactly makes someone qualify in that category. Does someone have to have a record? Does someone need to commit criminal acts like stealing cars, robbing a liquor store, pushing drugs, etc.? I don't see what exactly is appealing about scumbags who commit acts like those that I just mentioned. What do you think?
preraph Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 From what I can tell on this forum, it's any guy who gets the woman they want. Even though they don't know the guy, they assume they're superior to them and accuse the woman of liking "bad boys." 1
Jules Dash Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 From what I can tell on this forum, it's any guy who gets the woman they want. Even though they don't know the guy, they assume they're superior to them and accuse the woman of liking "bad boys." Love this. Yes, if a guy cheats on a woman amd she decides to forgive him and get back with him, then the woman likes bad boys. If a guy gets angry even for a completely understandable reason and calls the woman out of her name and the woman forgives him, then the woman likes bad boys.
d0nnivain Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 Bad boys don't have to cross all the way into criminal to earn the rep. Mostly it's about overly confident alpha men who have no regard for the feelings or needs of others. The confidence & swagger have quite the allure but mostly they are all about conquest, consequences be damned. 2
venusishername Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 It has nothing to do with breaking the law or being a jerk. As a woman who can speak from experience and taste, a bad boy is the rebel, the nonconformist, a little dangerous, sexy, mysterious, and a risk taker. He's usually the popular leader of the pack, or the brooding loner He pushes the limits, he never settles for mediocrity or lack of excitement. He's passionate, and again, it's that element of danger to him. To women this is appealing because that implies he's also brave and self-reliant. He's not afraid to go against the grain or live on the edge. And... That is very appealing and sexy. 1
Danda Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 I think it stems from the female equivalent of the "Madonna/Whore" complex in males. I think most people want a partner who is a good person (compassionate, honest, respectful, etc) but who can also get a little naughty and adventurous sometimes, and who knows what they want and isn't afraid to say so. Basically. But just as some men develop a complex over it, I think some women develop a similar complex in that they divide men into categories of "nice, stable boring man" vs "fun, sexy a-hole man". Again very similar to the complex men can develop of dividing all women into "depraved sloots" or "nice girls". It seems to happen when humans compartmentalize emotion and sex, rather than perceiving that the two are almost inherently intertwined, as well as when humans attach cultural or arbitrary moral significance to sex on some inherent level, rather then tackling the complexity of varying situations and circumstance. Or in essence, black/white thinking is easier than a well-rounded and complex analysis, and so therefore black/white thinking is a common go-to coping mechanism for humans when they feel overwhelmed. THEN what seems to happen as a sort of ripple effect, is that some people actually try to mold themselves into one of the extreme, polarized 'characters' on one end of the spectrum or the other. (i.e. men who think they need to be a-holes in order to be exciting/sexy, or women who think that they will lose their 'good person' status if they let their boyfriend get in their pants, regardless of circumstance). And we wind up with people who are either off-the-wall out of control or so sexually/emotionally repressed that they might as well be cardboard cutouts propped up on a chair during their first date. That's my perception of the reality of the whole thing. And then you get a bunch of people who throw around such terms so casually that the terms themselves start to lose their meaning. One example that I'm fairly guilty of in this regard is throwing around terms like "red herring" or "strawman" a lot in various online debates, usually in relevance to politics. Sometimes I just get stumped and my cerebral narc streak takes a hit, but it makes me feel better and sound more 'intellectual' if I whip out some fancy logical fallacy jargon.
KatZee Posted December 28, 2014 Posted December 28, 2014 A "bad boy" could be on the spectrum of just being a player, or being criminal. Someone who breaks the rules. Doesn't even have to be legal laws. Just breaking the rules of society in general. Outspoken, fearless, doesn't particularly care about how he treats women, just does what's good for him. Players/PUAs are bad boys.
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